Report: Friday 19/12/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Big Paul deservedly took the pre-Xmas cash with a solid performance from his faithful 3 iron. Will 2009 see the return of any woods in his bag? Perhaps Santa knows the answer!
Dom suffered a double mystery missing ball up both the 8th and 9th - saving himself for Saturday's comp???
Thanks for another great golfing year everyone. We have had our awesome Platinum tour to Barnbougle Dunes, the Classic at Kooindah Waters and another tough and well battled out tour up the coasat at Magina. Thank you to everyone who's has contributed to the continued organisation of PGA events and we can look forward to the new year with The Gong in March.
Report: Friday 05/12/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Another PGA record shattered!
The back 9 at Wakehurst was subjected to an intense mauling by the Chairman who opened up with Birdie and proceeded to score a further 4 pars. The Doors will record a Stroke day 41 off the stick, NTP and 4 under ‘cap. Boom.
I hope Andy isn't late paying!
Report: Friday 28/11/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Just Paul & I out for stroll around the back nine. Paul had 13 points thru the last 6 holes, winning form in anyone's book. But was pipped by the chairman who sunk a birdie putt on 16th to wrestle the lead. Like a rabied dog, frothing at the mouth with the scent of victory I wasn't going to let a determined late challenge take the cash-o-la.
Report: Friday 21/11/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
I’m going to buy a lotto ticket after that round. With a birdie on 6th followed by an approach to the 7th that bounced into the hole. Sweet!
Report: Friday 14/11/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
On another great morning for golf, Dom made a wise decision to duck out this morning as Andy and myself put on a fine display. There was nothing to separate us from the first shot until the 7th as we matched each other hole for hole, point for point, both sitting on 12 points after 6 holes. On the 7th, Andy's 2nd to the green took a bad bounce out of bounds to open the door for me, which I gratefully accepted, taking a 2 point lead. I made the extra shot for me count on the 8th to open up a 3 point advantage going into the last. With the pressure off, I sent a sweet tee shot down the Tiger line as Andy played his straight down the middle. His 2nd to the green left him with a guaranteed par and 3 points which put the pressure back on as I discovered I'd found the bunker. Scrambling out and then finding the slope at the back of the green, it was looking like a putt off was on the cards. Andy duly took his par and I managed to save a point and take the big bucks.
Chris texted in to see if his 42 point total at the Pambula Comp (which the bandit won!) qualified!
Report: Friday 31/10/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
The flies are back.
Smashed it!
D
Report: Friday 24/10/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
After our 3 day celebration of everything glorious about the PGA and golf, it was back to business at the Wake. Someone forgot to tell the weatherman that we were back from Tassie and he sent us out in biting cold. Beanies, jackets and gloves – where was summer? A tight cluster of balls at the first dogleg suggested we are getting the hang of this course – playing from the very front tees.
2 holes later the field was scattered far and wide. Our Platinum champion showed impressive form with birdie on 7th and charged home with 9points over the last 3 holes. Andy aimed for double figures but fell agonizingly short but has got a new putter. Paul was just pleased he could tell Charlotte that he wasn’t fourth this week and finished with a Par. I scored a cap buster and $30 bucks.
So with only 6 months till the tour, foci turns to the Saturday night and a BIG drink up to say a fond farewell to Bill. See you at the Opera Bar – just don’t let Marty near the Baileys.
Report: Friday 03/10/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
Four pairs of hairy white legs, sticking out of shorts that have seen little action for the past 6 months, strode confidently onto the first tee. Dom drove his tee shot almost 34 metres and Chris shanked his into the water on his way to an opening 11. Paul and I weren't much better. God help us at Barnbougle!
Paul and I were all square at the end and had a putt off on the 18th...
For the boys who handed over all their cash to me and are broke for the long weekend, here is a Banana Bread recipe that you can use for an inexpensive treat.
Ingredients
110g butter, soft
200g caster sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
285g (2 level cups) self- raising flour
4 ripe bananas, mashed
Method
Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Grease a 13cm by 25cm loaf tin and dust with flour.
Meanwhile cream the butter and sugar together until light in colour. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well. Fold in the flour and mashed banana alternately. Mix until all ingredients are incorporated.
Spoon the mixture into the tin and bake for 50 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. If the top of the bread gets too dark cover it with foil and continue to bake.
Leave to cool in the tin for 15 minutes and turn out onto a wire rack to continue to cool.
Report: Friday 26/09/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Dom maintained his recent run of form with another Birdie on the 6th. Putting from 1m after an impressive approach. Pauley is more concerned about getting a stroke back before the tour , I'm sure he'll be out there over the next two weeks! With all the talk on the tour, now only 3 weeks away, it was time for the chairman to break the drought.
Report: Friday 19/09/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
The Chairman had a quiet word with me about my rambling apple story last week, said it wasn’t funny enough and I should try to be more descriptive about the weather, number of shots taken per hole, how quick the greens were running etc. but I am the King with all the money, a diamond mine in South Australia and a handicap smaller than a Gerbil’s nut sack. Millions of pars today, 3 for me plus a couple of birds left me 3 over off the stick, Hillsong pushed for some coin but could only manage a weak par to finish..thses days that just ain’t good enough!
D
Report: Friday 12/09/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Does anyone ever read these?
When I got home from golf this morning some scruffy old geezer who said he was a farmer walked up my drive and sold me a box of apples and a box of mandarins for a hungey. He said if I keep them in the shade they will last for three months. I recon there is 50 apples and 50 mandarins in each box which means Booker , Paul and Andy each discounted my investment by 5 apples and 5 mandarins. Sweet.
D
Report: Friday 05/09/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
The fair weather golfers that Andy was expecting still didn't show, then again Andy didn't either (after all there were some clouds on the horizon).There were reported sightings of him seen leaving a tanning salon!
So to the first we headed with opening pars for me and Chrissy. Being stroke Friday no-one could afford to slip up, so all three of us duly found the water on the third! Dom followed his 8 with a mighty 10 on the fourth to end any hopes of breakfast on the boys. Chris played his usual tidy game with a slight lead until he found the trees and not his ball on the eighth. This gave Dom a slight hope, asking Chris to put another couple in there. With Chris carding a 9 my opportunity opened up and I made sure with a par on the ninth. Four pars, NTP and a cap busting round of 2 under sets me up perfectly for 'The Chairmans Invitational' at Kooindah Waters tomorrow. 40 bucks the richer, I'm off to raise my offer on a house!!
Report: Friday 15/08/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
The worm has turned. Warm sun greeted us on the first tee rather than the stark cold winter darkness we have endured for the last few months. A steady stream of fair weather PGA golfers is expected to join the morning throngs as Spring kicks in and the tour looms.
My balls were glowing this morning, as if by magic.
Wipes and pars abounded. Chris, Dom and Paul fought it out for second place. It was pathetic.
Thanks for the funds boys, Fiji Bitter has never tasted so sweeeeeeeeeeeet.
Report: Friday 01/08/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
I kissed a girl and I liked it…
Booker was laying into it early but fell apart offering is ball up twice to every bunker on the 4th, a couple of O.A.B’s on the 5th and he declared himself G.A.Y.
Mr Price applied the pressure despite his poor quality golf outfit aimed at the low income 16 to 24 year old Cape Towner. By the ninth he thought he had a chance but I crushed his self esteem and bank balance by sinking a cool birdie putt.
It was warm and light by 6.15am this morning, only 12 weeks away from our Tasmanian extravaganza, time to shape up, sharpen your mind and learn to win.
Another $40 bucks in my Clacutta bucket.
…taste of her cherry chap stick.
Report: Friday 18/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Andy got into gear for the Freeman cup by wiping the first 3 holes. Clearly he found the humiliation of wearing a Pink cap too much and spent the early holes scurrying around in the bushes. Dom showed some delicate touches and with 4 pars should have done better. However a good week on the course golf continued for the Chairman, who after winning the IBM golf day at Terrey Hills kept it steady to take out the Friday pot.
A reminder to all that the Freeman Cup is Sat 26th July at Kooindah Waters.
Report: Friday 11/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
As a true Scotsman Big Alan turns up in mid winter completely under dressed for the occasion. Not to be deterred by a wind chill of 1C he picks a ball from his sporran and strokes it down the fairway. Times have changed since Al last joined us – we used to play in daylight – so with fingers turning blue we all did well to score on the first.
The bitter wind was our excuse for all wiping the 2nd, but I can’t make any excuses for Dom trying the old “I didn’t know you got an extra stroke on that hole” trick!
Pars were a premium and anything close to the green in regulation impressive. Dom tried gamely to hang in there with a par on the 8th giving him hope. But like a good catholic priest his chances of coming from behind were spoilt by a messy attempt to enter the final green through the backdoor.
With the odds of a win stacked firmly in my favour I took aim at the Korean ladies rudely putting on our green and sent them scurrying back to where they belonged.
Thanks for the game fellas and bring on the Freeman Cup.
Report: Friday 04/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Not the best of Friday's for Wellsy, who unloaded half a dozen ProV1's into various ponds, bushes, scrub and OOB's before proceeding back into the proshop to start haggling about the price of balls. "They weren't that expensive in my day".... on top of that he had the indignity of having to hand over a twenty to the chairman after getting battered 3&2 in matchplay.
Report: Friday 27/06/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Wellsy was back from Thailand and was surprisingly knowledgable on the Euro-man with ladyboy scene. Pauley and I tried to concentrate on the golf but clearly the mid-winter break had done the "old fossil" some good and he displayed some nice touches around the greens allowing him to recoup a twenty.
Should be noted that Paul sunk a massive 25 footer on the 13th for a birdie and had another ripper one-put on eleven. But the golfing gods got their revenge!!!
Hit them straight
Report: Friday 20/06/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
In an attempt to make golf more attractive to working men Andy suggested that we only play 7 holes. So off the back we went in the dark muttering about fluro balls. Clearly focused by the newly shorten version of the great game, Andy was quickly into full swing and was the only scorer on the 10th.
Andy marched onwards to a mid winter victory and looked to have the game bagged after par'ing the par3 13th. Paul was taking his time getting into gear and was possibly more interested in getting home to watch Euro2008.
Andy's wayward approach to 15th opened the window and I didn't need a second invitation to haul back 3 points, a pair of bogey's on 16 meant we were all tied up after 7holes. The old fart playing behind embarrassed himself after giving us some lip earlier he barely managed to reach the water hazard and after fishing for his ball decided not to mess with the PGA's finest. Pauley by now was ready to rumble!!
Now we had a 2 hole "play-off" but it was all over after 17, Andy licking his wounds and running off down 18 without hitting a shot.
Report: Friday 23/05/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Sitting here on my throne like a muscled up version of David Beckam, I can but reflect on my less fortunate playing partners, Booker like a lame kitten sniffing his way around a parless, wipe tainted round, Pauley limping across the finish like a middle aged fun runner and Andy finishing strong but still mentally fragile following his wife’s rejection of her mother’s day present.
As for me, another flawless cap buster.
On a final note (if you are still reading) I have been forced into a position that makes me both uncomfortable and sad. An outstanding Platinum deposit remains, despite continuous polite requests and sympathetic time extension the situation has remained unchanged. In order not compromise the individual beyond their own self guilt I have decided not to name them publically however I could not resist the temptation to keep you guessing with this cunning riddle…..
He is Scottish and his name rhymes with Alan Bennet,
See ya losers
Dom
Report: Friday 16/05/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The King was radiating confidence in the pre-dawn darkness. However a pair of early botty wipes revealed he is a mere mortal. Three pars late in the game indicate Dom’s swing was in good shape, once there was enough light to see the ball.
Pauley got off to a flyer, played a solid a round and on other weeks would have taken the cash. But the absence of any pars tells the story here.
Martyn was solid, talked a good game and provided enjoyable company for me. Recovering from an early setback I got a hatrick of 3 pointers and birdied 7th before finishing poorly up 9th. Nervously clutching the card, it was all smiles in the back group and when Andy sunk a par on the final green he thought he done enough to take 40 on offer.
A putt-off sorted out the destination of this weeks cash and will be invested into a crate of Pure Blondes for tomorrow's BBQ.
Report: Friday 09/05/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
More wipes than a Kleenex test lab and slower than a que for castration this round confirmed my position in history as the Ultimate King of the PGA.
DW.
Report: Friday 02/05/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
A cold morning wasn't enough to keep the men away, as a total of 5 saw us having to draw for groups. Andy, Dom and myself in group 1, placed 3 perfect tee shots before suggesting that the stake be 20 bucks for todays stroke event. Chris and Martyn were up for it and both followed with equally good tee shots.
It just wasn't happening for Dom today without a par, but Andy showed us yet again why it won't be long before he lifts a trophy with some good solid golf, chipping in for par on the 9th. An opening par and 4 on the bounce between the 5th and 8th put me in the driving seat. Chris and the Longmax were pinging balls at us from all over to suggest they were in the hunt. However, with 5 pars, NTP and a cap busting round of 5 under, the honours were mine along with 80 Big Ones.
Chris and Dom, unaccustomed to getting their hands in their pockets on a Friday morning (or Friday night I hear!) were sent scurrying to their cars to raid the ashtrays and down the backs of seats to scrape together enough shrapnel to sink the Manly Ferry!!
Cheers lads
Report: Friday 25/04/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
ANZAC pre-dawn finds Mr Hill preparing for a morning raid. With the coordinates dialled in for the back nine it's a bit worring when the early shots start missing the target. After 12 days of rain a few soaky lies are expected and we use this excuse to console ourselves for erratic play.
Pars were at a premium until the Chairman managed to roll one in on the 16th. Andy immediately pulled out his big weapon and fired a ripper down the 17th to pull a shot back. A quick tally up showed AH would need his best swing down the 18th and he didn't disappoint with two majestic woods to the fringe. Staring a crushing defeat in the eyes I dropped a bomb of a wedge into the pin and tucked it away to take the game.
Report: Friday 18/04/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Buoyed by his countryman’s success in the Master Any Hillsong went for the green off the 1stTee, but being born in same country does not make up for lack of talent, very thin legs and no talent and he end up in the bush….however his day will come.
Pauly birded the first, parred the second and scored a couple of other pars on route to a handy round, despite wiping the 8th he was sitting on 18 points by the 9th.
Booker found trouble on the 9th when some middle-aged blonde number started playing Ting Tong tricks with his well driven ball; he chastised her and asked her to replace his ball once she had cleaned it thoroughly.
So on the 9th we had Paul on 18pts, Andy on 18pts, me on 17pts and Booker happily sniffing his ball but with some lame score.
I am the only one who can putt, so while the other mongs three putted I slotted a sweet 4 footer in one.
I won they lost and 3 handicaps went down.
Dom
Report: Friday 11/04/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
Waiting in the cold on the 10th tee the passing greenkeeper sniggered at our shorts and said ‘you’re brave’. Not as brave as Marty’s hot-pants, I thought.
Play got underway without further humiliation and we were soon into our stride, spaying balls randomly around the course. Paul picked up the NTP on the 13th and a few pars were made on the par threes. We had a chat with the Butcher from Balgowlah on the 16th tee (I thought he was French but it turns out he’s a scouser), who told us that Man U were in control the whole game.
Chris parred the 17th and then initiated a conversation about how putting and whacking off were so similar… Paul and I agreed out of politeness.
Then Chris was almost killed by a stray drive on the 18th, not a word of warning from the perpetrator (who looked French to me, from a distance).
Paul wanted to go for a beer after the game – he obviously doesn’t have much planned for the rest of the day.
[Bruce and Katie, good luck for the Ironman on Sunday.]
Report: Friday 28/03/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Hello Goobers
Just raised my Magina enterprise value by smashing 3 pars and a bird for a solid if somewhat protected 20 large.
Wendel showed a bit of form after playing ping pong with Ting Tong on the Asia tour for the past 3 weeks and Pauley was showing the odd touch of magic after a week of horse riding on Fraser Island, said his ar5e was a bit sore which got Wendel all excited reminiscing about truncheon love in pad pong.
All right fellas, looks like I am up for another tour win, the trophy is polished (and in one piece), my going out cords are ironed and I have committed to my life coach to stay off the V&O’s.
I’ll see a few of you at the Waratahs tonight the rest of you monkeys had better hit the range early.
The tour is upon us.
D
Report: Friday 21/03/2008
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Everyone played shit, I played slightly less shit.
The bad weather was probably good practice for the tour, forecast looks like Magenta could be wet and windy.
I'm in the zone, bring it on!
Report: Friday 14/03/2008
Written by: Martyn Lomax
4 months off really does your game a lot of good. With no practice I came back to the Wake with the classic long iron style. However pulling 21 points out of the bag could prove costly at Magenta.
The regular PGAers were out, Dom, Chris and Paul all with solid games. Lots of pars, and only 5 botty wipes between us. The standard of play was great, anyone would think a tour was coming up.
We all got pars on the 6th, even me from off the green.
4 months until I play next, I'll look forward to taking your $10 sometime during July.
Report: Friday 07/03/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Stroke Friday welcomed back Andy Hill, who displayed a great swing as he muscled his way back into contention for the Magenta tour in a 3 weeks. With 2 pars and the NTP, Andy stamped down his mark upon return from an injury ravaged season. Big Pauley aka Matt Dunning peeled off his house clothes and showed the lads the steady long iron draw which is becoming his trademark. Paul opened up his card with an easy Par. These 2 are making themselves contenders for the prestigious tour trophy.
Usually stroke Friday delivers high scores but today 11 pars were recorded. Dom pushed hard on the final hole. With 4 pars already recorded he found some green side trouble and was only pipped for the cash by the Chairman tapping in his 4th par, to take a slender 1 stroke win. With $30 and a 'cap buster I’m looking forward to a few ales and a tasty pub lunch.
Report: Friday 29/02/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Nine hours of rain does nothing to dampen Dom’s enthusiasm, nor the Baltic conditions that required us to rug up. For February the weather is a joke. Let’s hope for improvements in time for the Magenta tour. Seven wipes, bunkers resembling water hazards & a bucket of balls lost between us. Hopefully this says more for the conditions that our golfing prowess.
Report: Friday 22/02/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The muscle men of the PGA squared up for a best of British dog fight around the Wake. With the moon casting the only light on the first tee a fully ripped D Wells, blazed the trail down the first fairway. An impressive drive on nearly 50m bought back memories of the pre-dawn raids at royal Chatswood.
Pauley showed us how it was done drawing his opening salvo to the corner. Game on. By the 2nd the first rays of sunlight were blamed for Dom’s lost ball, Paul and I temporarily blinded trying to track down this monster drive – but gone it was. With the game slipping away so early Dom turned conversation from golf to his preferred morning tickle – Mosman wives, then broaching unchartered ground on suggestions of a topless calendar for the website. This got Pauley’s heart racing and soon testosterone fuelled shots were raining down on the greens.
All to play for up the 9th, Wellsy had a birdie putt opportunity that slipped passed by but he took consolation in finishing strong with a 3pointer for 14. Paul sunk his bogey putt (17) leaving me with needing to sink a hairy cross green putt for the game, $20 and a played to ‘cap round. Boom - game over.
Report: Friday 08/02/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
It never rains on a Friday morning and today was no exception.
My investment in lessons is paying off, with 1 million shots attributed to me in today’s Stroke Friday where as Booker, who has shunned professional help had 1 million and 1 shots.
We actually tied and had a putt-off on the 9th, I sunk a 35ft down hiller to send Booker limping off to the locker rooms mumbling about coding errors and HTML scripts.
I now have $10 to spend on Andy Hill’s birthday present and am looking forward to his Vicars & Tarts 40th party tonight.
Dom
PS. Magenta – Research indicates this is a tough course where to be a contender you will need to draw down on every handicap shot available. If you have any aspirations of winning the next tour now is the time to get out and play some golf…
Report: Friday 25/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The first week of inflationary driven raised stakes was clearly enough to cause those cash conscious PGA members to stay in bed. Pauley was notably absent and is still trying to negotiate with his missus for the extra $5 pocket money which he hands over most weeks. Andy’s extended absence is now looking particularly suspicious of handicap protection with the tour only 2 months and his noted desire to auction himself on Ebay with a cap below 20. Big Al was crook so it was left to Booker and Wellsy the seasoned campaigners to battle it out.
Michelle Wie was back and the sight of Korean skirt raised the early tempo with a couple of pars for the Chairman. Dom was soon back in contention as 2 botty wipes from Booker pegged back early good work but inexplicably Dom started missing his bread and butter putts. Another par on the 9th was enough to win the cash, but it’s not about the money – that just pays for the golf balls I lost.
Report: Friday 18/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
A blustery morning didn’t put the big Scotsman off and with grey skies he seemed quite at home. Big Al played attacking golf on the opening holes and scored some handy early points. Then the wheels came off and Big Al made his weekly contribution to the bush. Playing some nice long irons and in this form it won’t be long till the big man is challenging for the weekly cash. Nothing much occurred after this, except a motion has been tabled to increase the weekly stake to $10. All those in favour say aye…….
See you Saturday for the bi-annual AGM, beers, banter, tour updates etc.
Report: Friday 11/01/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Pauley looked a bit flustered this morning and was covered in talcum powder (something to do with a dirty weekends and spending the night trying to squeeze his considerable frame into a size 8 latex nurses outfit).
Obviously Booker was there and Big Al wondered up with minutes to spare.
A benign start was followed by some intriguing events; I surged with four successive pars (not that surprising) but it was Al’s reaction that raised a few eyebrows; with consistency in mind he wiped six holes in a row! With the year of golf a distant memory the tactic seemed to be only to play shots from the tee – once both attempted shots were confirmed ‘out of bounds’ the Big Man was free to wonder up the fairway to the next tee and repeat the process…Apparently 2008 is the year of running!?
While this was going on Chrissy was bemoaning the physical effects of having to work for living and spazed a fair few, while nurse Paul (I have a mental picture of a heterosexual version of the ‘Only Gay in the Village’) was cruising along nicely.
The wash up was that I won with a cap buster, Pauley was a shot behind with a cap buster, booker was inconspicuous and Big Al is still out there…
FOR SALE
1 x set of Callaway Xps Irons, one careful owner (hardly used) – open to sensible offers but would consider swapping for pair of Nike Pump runners (size 15’s).
Dom
Report: Friday 04/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
A meager turnout for the opening PGA event of 2008 as only Paul and Chris rocked up on the 10th. The opening hole of stroke Friday proved costly to the eventual scores but it was Paul who found his early round rhythm and took out a significant lead. However the window was thrown open by a lost ball down 12th and Chris responded with a tidy par and kept the pressure on as Paul lost another up the 14th.
The 16th proved tricky and the doors were level after Paul got up and down from the difficult 17th high-side bunker. The obliging greenkeepers drove over to Paul’s assistance on the 18th, cutting down an interfering bush but his chip was short and the chairman didn’t need another opportunity to grab the notes to start the year.
Report: Saturday 29/12/2007
Written by: Alan Bennett
Five turned up for the last hit of 2007, which we all agreed was a bit of a piss poor effort.
The morning started with Chris delivering an emotional Year in Review speech outside the pro-shop that had everyone hugging each other and most of us choking back the tears. He apologised for not yet arranging an end of year Bi-AGM and admitted that if he had not sorted something out by the end of January then it would not be unreasonable if he was ousted from power and given a ten point penalty on the next tour. This was received with a hoorah from the 'crowd' and we picked up our sticks in a happier mood and headed down to the first tee.
The short version of the report is that I won. In retrospect I think the others didn’t want to do the report whilst on holiday and thought that parting with five dollars and getting me to write it was a good deal.
Thanks for the rounds of golf and laughs in 07.
Happy New Year to all.
Al
Report: Friday 21/12/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The PGA ranks were swelled by the last minute presence of Richard (RB) whose appearance swelled numbers to 5 and extra funds in the cash pot.
Paul and Chris hit off first in the blinding Wakehurst morning sunshine. Paul found ominous trouble at the base of a tree next to the first green , but it was Wellsy and RB in a threesome with Andy who was making the early charge, with Ronnie bagging an impressive 4 points on the 1st!
Those who have been playing recently will have a noticed an interesting scoring tactic that Dom has adopted. The current PGA champ has patented the “par-wipe” and bye-heck did he get his monies worth out of this combo today, using it an astonishing 4 times!
Fortunately the NTP was on the 5th allowing Dom to use the “Par-wipe combo” to drop one a couple of meters from the pin, but he missed the birdie opportunity and a window was thrown wide open.
Andy sunk a notable Birdie on the 7th – well played. He followed it with a “botty” and then par finish. He’s been playing with Dom too often.
Up front, the lead group reacted to the challenge & par claims, with Paul hitting some tidy irons but it was 22 points that won the day.
Report: Friday 14/12/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
We waited on the 1st for half an hour for Big Al and Martyn to turn up as promised, letting groups through and practicing our putting – but they didn’t bother to show up, or even send us a text to say they weren’t coming…!!
Not much really happened, Booker announced he has accepted a job as Sub Branch Manager at Lloyds Bank in Nuneaton and was going back to England in the New Year. Pauly announced he has got a role as the gay bloke in the musical Billy Elliot and intends to model his future career on Michael Flatley. I announced that those two losers are cr@p at golf and would most likely be handing their (Paul’s wife’s) cash to me before the morning was out. This they did before bumbling off to their respective ‘careers’.
Crissy is planning a leaving do in the New Year which we could combine with the bisexual AGM – all those in favor say I.
Dom
Report: Friday 07/12/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
It was a foggy morning at Wakehurst. The car park was unusually full and we soon realised that it was the annual National Rifle Association Golf Day. They were planning a 7am shotgun start (there were a lot of casualties…) so Chris and I headed to Balgowlah Golf Club for some stroke play.
Now the thing with Balgowlah is that it makes hackers look like fairly respectable golfers. And any PGAer with half a brain would be sandbagging their round to make sure they didn’t do irreparable damage to their handicap. Chris is a PGAer with half a brain: he started strong and after 6 holes was looking like a contender. Then, in an almost convincing way, the wheels came off. Duffed bunker shots and quadruple bogeys followed – by the end of the round there was no chance of any handicap damage.
Bonehead here got carried away with the situation and was shooting pars and birdies like he was playing on a proper course. Even showing off by hitting the flag on the 6th from 100m out. In hind-sight the $10 winnings and the 5-under cap round might not have been the best strategy.
Andrew
(BIL International Champion 2007)
Report: Friday 30/11/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
There was a time when getting 2 points was a good start to your round – not any more! There was a time when an opening par raised eyebrows with your playing partners – not any more. When 16 points meant you were in with a chance and 18 points almost guaranteed the cash – not anymore!
Now is the time when not one but two PGA members stamp down their authority and game plans with birdies on the 1st, Paul sublimely chipping in from the left fringe and D Wells sinking a 3 metre right-to-left curler putt.
Andy & I took our measly opening pars and walked down to the 2nd wondering what we had to do?
The remaining holes followed a similar theme. Wait till the greenkeepers are out of reach then spank it. Then watch and wait for Wells to go a bit bigger and longer than everyone else. He was firing them in at the pin all morning but a couple of messy botty wipes ultimately proved costly.
Andy sporting his new South African front row facial hair threw down the challenge on the 9th and came up smiling tying the round on 21 points and taking the game to a putt-off. On the 2nd putt-off hole Andy came up a bit too short and offered me the opportunity to win 15 bucks. A great morning of tightly contested golf.
For the record there were 14 - 3 pointers scored this morning, with 2 birdies and 4 pars.
Report: Friday 16/11/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Sometimes when I play with myself, like this morning, I imagine Michelle Wie is there too. And she was stroking it beautifully today, while I was putting it in places that really surprised her. By the third hole we were starting to get into a rhythm which set us up for the rest of the round. Her ball control was amazing. She came first (and second) but I invoked the NFB rule and took the wedge.
Oh, Laura Davies was there too, which is great because she kept the flies off us.
Report: Friday 02/11/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
On a damp muggy morning, a guest appearance from the much improved Wendell, swelled the ranks to 4 on stroke Friday, putting $30 up for grabs.
With it being the 1st outing since the last tour, the conversation was already about the upcoming tour. How much would the Calcutta be worth this time around?
Back to this mornings golf and everyone started off steady. I got off to an early lead, but it was very close with all 4 in contention. Chris spent half an hour in a bunker on the 2nd, taking 4 shots to get out, but still managed a 7. Dom parred the 3rd and 4th to draw level, Wendell took NTP on the 5th, then Chris parred the 6th and 7th to put himself back in the running with his usual strong finish. An 8 on the 8th for me made it very interesting going into the last, with Chris just having the edge over the rest of us, leading by a single shot. Up stepped Dom, who smashed his driver down the Tiger line to pile the pressure on. Chris found the trees and then OOB to put an end to any hope he had. I carded a 5 and Dom had a par putt to take the winnings, but he just missed. With a 6 inch putt required to level the score and a chance to add to his tour winnings, he spazzed it big time giving me the sausage.
Whether through embarrassment at missing a 6 inch putt or the unwillingness to break a $100 from his tour winnings, he was seen making a hasty departure from the car park without paying! With the latest reports of him packing his bags and heading for the airport, immigration officials have been placed on high alert.
Report: Friday 19/10/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
On arrival at the Wake, the car park was looking full as the fair weather golfers were dusting off their clubs. Finally, the staff are starting to recognise Chris Booker as the upstanding member he is and the 1st tee was left clear for us.
On the eve of the Tour, it was no great surprise that thoughts and conversation were all about the weekend ahead. There was lots of talk about the Calcutta and who the smart money was on. With a combined 10 pars between todays players, could it be one of us? All four of us finishing the 9th strongly with a par!
ANDY, who felt the pressure of being the favourite on the last tour, scored 11 points to keep the heat off, but was this just tactical?
DOM chipped in with 14 points, but spent most of the round experimenting with technique. However, with 3 pars carded looks dangerous!
CHRIS, what more can be said about this mans golf, who always saves his best for the Spring Tour, winning all previous! After a blow out on the 1st, he steadily improved scoring 9 points on the last 3 holes for a total of 19 points. Who would bet against him in this form!
ME, I hardly put a foot (or club) wrong today to score a very satisfying 21 points and win N.T.P. But, have I peaked too early?
So, what about the rest of you who've been keeping your golf under wraps?
ADAM, El Bandito, who has a lot to prove after his disappointing show at the Freeman Cup.
NEIL, can he eventually deliver on the big occasion and finally win the prize he so desparately wants!
BILL, can he go one better than the Freeman Cup and get his name on this trophy again?
RONNIE, who has made a big improvement in his game, but can he live with the lower handicap?
MARC, another who has made a big improvement to his game, will the leasons pay off?
BIG AL, fresh from holiday and the land that invented the game of Golf! Has some of the magic rubbed off onto his newly crested flag of Scotland clubs?
And finally to,
JEFF, who has delighted us with some great golf recently. Can he maintain this standard and finish off the year on a high and take a clean sweep of the honours?
Get your wallets out and SHOW ME THE MONEY.................
Report: Friday 28/09/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Paul left it late, teeing off with old 2 ladies, they thought he was a nice boy, before running down the first to catch the lads on the first green. He should play like this more often as he duly parred the hole.
Irons showed the way off the 3rd, the only driver pulled out, found the water hazard with Andy and Martyn using the laying up in a gay-way technique to pick up regulation 2 points.
The NTP 5th raised the bar, 4 shots on the green, must be a new PGA record. Martyn called for the measuring stick but Andy gleeful took the weekly prize. With the temperature steadily climbing a red bellied black snake slithered across our paths, Andy took off in pursuit, typical Afrikaner! A kwik Doors tally at the 9th showed everyone in with a chance – the rest is history.
Report: Friday 14/09/2007
Written by: Martyn Lomax
The training wheels were off. Back to a real course.
The cap busting rounds seen at the Royal were a thing of the past. In fact, between us we only scored just slightly more than Ronnie did on his own last week. 18 botty wipes between us. Time for a visit to Mr.Saunders?
Without the pressure of needing to protect my cap for the tour I played consistently, and with most people scoring in the high single figures it was enough to take the sausage.
It has been a long time since we've had a good PGA quote. Bill announced he'd be "laying up in a gay way" as we stood at the 3rd tee. It obviously works though as he walked away with a boags from the hardest hole on the course.
Five weeks til the tour. Dave's number is 02 99137991.
Report: Sunday 09/09/2007
Written by: Richard (Ronnie) Bettles
With world leaders and business men descending on Sydney “OPEC”, no sorry John, APEC gave us a deserved Friday off. One could either protest, stay in bed or join up with another group of Men for a Friday hack. There were no motorcades, snipers, lockdowns or 12 ft walls. However if you were game enough to get on the roads early enough, you could experience the closest thing to a “Green light route” all the way to Royal Chatswooo.
7 such Men chose the crack of sparras option and arrived at the Spiritual home of the PGA, The Royal. It was just like old times with Wendal and myself making retro appearances joining regulars and semi regulars Chris, Bill, D, Andy and Big Al. I have to say at this point, so inexperienced am I that writing up the Doors and I was hardly likely to be doing so, that I made no attempt to remember what happened on each hole. Let’s face it, Doors writing is something I’ve not had to worry about in 5 years of PGA gatherings……………..well that all changed today! Here goes
Tenners in for Stableford Friday - D, Bill, Andy and Wendal teed off into the mist (some things don’t change). Dom and Bill got some early acquaintance with the second fairway, god knows where Andy went and only Wendal stuck it up the middle. Was this a sign of things to come?
Big al, Chris and myself got going. I ended up flat blading out of the bushes leading to a fashionable wipe. CB and Alan followed suit. The second wasn’t much better: RB 8 for 1, CB 7 for 2 however Al made an early claim with 5 for 4. So 1 point for me after 2 holes? Nothing unusual there. Then the clouds parted, Messiah shone a light and bingo, points city. I couldn’t miss a thing. The sausage was mine. 19 points out, 27 in. Total 46. The interesting thing was, unknown to our threesome; Wendal had been pulling out a similarly remarkable effort and pulled in a close second with 41 points. Counting back there was only 1 point in it up until the 15th! It must have been going through his head that the day was going to be his??
We all raised a Tooheys New to John, George, Vlad and team thanking them for APEC day. Can we have APEC every year please?
RB 46
MC 41
DW 36
AB 36
BF 34
AH 33
CB 31
Report: Friday 31/08/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
Only once since the beginning of May has anyone other than Chris or Dom taken the sausage. That was when Andy decided to play with himself to get his hands on his own sausage. As neither of them were present today, it was left between Bill and myself to scrap it out.
On a windswept morning with full daylight, we made our way to the 1st. With a couple of pars each and no Sunday morning drivers to slow us down, we made good time. The first four holes were mine to open up a lead, then Bill took the next four to sit in front by 1, going to the 9th. With Bill shooting his load O.O.B. for a wipe, an easy 2 putt for 2 points was enough for me to get my hands on the sausage.
With only 7 weeks to the Tour, it's time to fine tune those skills.
Bring it on!
Report: Friday 24/08/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
A couple of mongs waddling around Wakey in the rain.
If ever you wanted free money today was the day to drag yourself out of bed.
After four wipes and the normally buoyant Booker was down trodden and defeated, so I threw him a lifeline and offered up double or quits on the ninth. Taking the bait, the novice gambler found himself quite excited after halving the hole, only to be kicked in the nuts by losing the $10 putt-off.
I AM THE KING
D
Report: Friday 10/08/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
No doubt about it fellas, spring is in the air. The old course is in great condition, which is more than can be said for some of us, and the fair weather punters are coming out in droves, pushing the PGA off their regular first tee-off. Still it’s nice being able to see the fairway and the boys took full advantage with 3 excellent opening drives down the 10th. Spaz golf followed and a quick scramble on the green for max 1pt. Dom left his A grade game at home, perhaps saving it for the next tour, but after finally scoring 2 points on the 16th declared himself BACK and wanted double or quits!! Paul having realised that the chairman was steaming away with the game took the bait from Wellsy and promptly flocked him over the last 2 holes. Leaving Dom to hand over the cash, a quick game of “I’ve lost my wallet” followed by much rummaging – he only had a Nifty so I took that too!
IT - is 5 stableford points a new PGA record?
Report: Friday 03/08/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
It never rains on Friday mornings. Well it did today but it didn’t put off the hardcore PGA’ers whose numbers were boosted today by big Alan who made a much overdue return to the tour. Proudly waggling around his flash new Callaway Irons, with Scottish flag emblazoned on the head, these clubs looked the dogs nuts! Unfortunately the early morning darkness did little to bolster big Al’s confidence, but the clubs did look good never the less.
Martyn Longmax was in rip roaring form and his aggressive birdie at the 12th will be one of those holes that goes down in folklore. Two monster irons positioned him off the green and with a tricky lie & the right-hand bunker to negotiate. No problem to our IT specialist, who floats a beauty over the hazards and rolls it up and in with the pin in-situ. He was pumping!
The rest of gave polite applause and began to panic as Martyn already appeared to have the game in the bag. Paul stepped up on the 13th and took the weekly NTP, showing glimpses of the form that won him 3rd prize at the recent Classic. Still he was counting on the Chairman gunning for glory as 2 boags, followed by 2 pars put me back in contention and some steady golf on the way home put the $30 sausage in my wallet.
Report: Friday 27/07/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Predictions for the PGA Classic….
The lid will fall off the Freeman cup
Ronnie will have an on-course drama
Some people won’t turn up
Chris will make inappropriate snorting comments
No one will play to their cap
We will be late for dinner
No one will pull
We’ll have a great day out
I will win…
…just like this morning, securing a two hole putt-off against Chavboy Eastern. Booker was out on the course but conspicuous by his absence on the score sheet.
BRING IT ON!!!!!!
D.
Report: Friday 20/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Paul started off like Sergio Garcia, a man with a tournament to win. However by his 2nd shot the golf had reverted to normal and we all botty wiped the 10th. Obviously the course was playing tough, with fast greens, cross winds, knee high rough and difficult pin placements. The bunkers were steep and the crowds lining the fairways added to the difficulty of shot selection. Martyn made a charge at the famous 17th, using his awesome longmax length to drive centre fairway, picked the right corner for his approach and nailed the putt for 3 points. A quick tally up showed Martyn now held an enviable lead going up the 18th and with 2 handicap shots. This was immediately thrown away as he hooked OOB and then found the right trees from his 2nd tee shot. Paul saw an opening and played long down the centre before laying up on the path and rolling back to a tight lie. Paul & I both had the opportunity to take Martyn for a putt off but a lip-out saw Paul unluckily drop out contention.
Just like The Open, it’s all about handling pressure in the PGA putt off and Martyn was looking good. But 3 holes later I got lucky and stole a win and $10 prize.
Report: Friday 13/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Wellsy caused quite a fright this morning, turning up in his bed wear and then claiming to the attendant hardcore PGA players that it wasn’t cold and that his lack of long sleeves, golf cart and Titleist balls was in the game plan! With a quick fire par on the first his new winter preparation looked to have out flanked the multi-layered, beanie clad foursome. However his now aging body repaidly began to show signs off wear and tear. Soon the sore back cry went out, whilst Andy sniggered that if he wore a jacket and turned up with golf shoes rather than slippers he might stand a chance. Martyn (NTP) kept quiet as his balls were so cold that he kept finding the bushes.
As the sun eventually began to warm our souls, I went on the attack and bagged a couple more pars to put the boys under pressure. My R5 got slagged off but was performing well above par. With the game already lost, Dom (4 pars) and Andy went on a last ditch facing saving attack, taking on the trees and bunkers with impressive drives. Too late boys, with the game in the bag I took my foot off the pedal, having an unfortunate botty wipe on the 9th but picked up 15 notes and a handicap reduction.
Report: Friday 06/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
With the promise of Spring and the Classic fast approaching, I was hopeful of a big attendance. Alas Martyn played the "my woman's having a baby" card and Wellsy couldn't afford the $10 stake for the stroke event. Andy was backing up from his impressive win the previous week and Paul has returned to the tour.
Off the 10th and the golf is poor, turning tragic by the 11th until I find a nice new Callaway HX Tour ball under a bush. I quickly proceed to send my old ball into OOB, which seemed to appease the golfing gods and allowed my game to dramatically improve. This new ball guided its way around the next 6 holes like a puppet on a string, collecting pars and bogeys, whilst Andy and Paul competed for the day's highest score. When AH offered & 8, but when Paul took a 9 on the par3 16th he didn't expect Andy to go one better with double figures on the 17th!
$20 bucks win - nice.
Report: Friday 29/06/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Why I like playing alone:
1. You know you are going to win, and you do!
2. Everyone in the group laughs at your jokes
3. You can report your score as 15, but it might have been 8 or 24
4. No-one knows for sure if you really played or if you are just making it all up
Report: Friday 22/06/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Deepest winter. Cold car park, water sodden fairways and only 2 Poms. Dom dressed in his Dad's shell-suit and Chris wearing 3 jumpers, Beanie and shorts! As ever Dom was talking of a wager but having heard about his financial woes I decided $2 a hole match play was the game.
It was obvious that the recent rain enforced lay-off had given Dom the jips, as I lost count of the number of Pro-V1's that headed right and OOB from the tees. Therefore with a 2 shot advantage before handicaps I quickly proceeded to close the game out, being 3 up with 2 and took the heckling for playing too aggresively on the 7th (to win the match) on the chin.
In the spirit of mateship I slacken off the punishment up the final holes allowing Dom to put some respectability into the result before he tried doing a runner with my 2 bucks.
Report: Friday 25/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
18 large up for grabs in the World Masters Match Play Championship final round between me and Paul. The big man’s birdie on the 5th wasn’t enough to prevent me winning 2up. Nice quick round in sublime conditions, they are growing the rough and the course is at its best.
Report: Friday 11/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
With most of the PGA young guns out “shagging” it was down to me Chris and Paul to set the Wake alight…the boys may as well have rubbed sticks together and were never really in the hunt, after my three pars in a row they were physically and emotionally ruined.
No putt-offs this week, I putted out the 9th six shots clear of the stick rubbers with 18 points. So off we went, Pauly had to buy some cushions (yeh, I know), Chris off to finish up another productive 22 hour week at Verizon and I’m off to invest my winnings in half an hour with the swing doctor.
The Freeman Cup is just around the corner and I am planning to make it two in a row..may not even bother gluing it back together at this rate!
Cheers benders
Dom
Report: Friday 04/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Sorry, bit rushed for some gay Bee Gees love poem…I tell it like it is Ladyboys.
Billy Boy New Shirt My Wife Has Left Me And Run Off To Majorca turned up and after one good shot on the first, played like someone who only plays when he’s allowed to.
Ronnie, where was Ronnie?..who needs him when you’ve got Chris to get all punchy with the greenkeepers. “Do you realise I am a provisional member at this club” had a bit of a hollow ring to it and didn’t quite have the Greeny shaking in his Blundstones. Still, me and Pauly got a laugh out of it.
Andy combined his golf with training for his appearance on The Biggest Loser by running the length of most fairways after taking his tee shot. He kept losing balls that be blames on a lone Chonk, personaly I blame the Crows.
What a finish, Booker two shots up, putting for glory and a cap busting round but…wait a minute he’s hit the ball from the wrong marker..
“no I didn’t”
“Yes you did”
“Two shot penalty!” Shouts Martyn (laughing)
Putt off commences - obviously I win and significantly increase my wealth.
Well done chaps, bad luck Chris…I’m off to write a poem…
Dom
Report: Friday 27/04/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
(apologies to Abba)
Half past five
and its dark in the car park
Stars shining bright
in the dark night
as the PGAers start to arrive
Headlights glow
its Dom in his Volvo
like a granny from St. Ives
And it makes me so happy
to see there's at least five
Not another soul out there
no one to hear us swear
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this just isn't done
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this is plain dumb
Friday hackers
(Paul and Martyn in tow)
with a fortune to win
Its so different from
the normal game I'm in
Tired of losing
I start to swing
and I keep it tight
But there a challenge from Chris
who's out of sight
Not another soul out there
no one to hear us swear
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this isn't done
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this is plain dumb
[Msg to Bone and Goose,
Bangladesh!!]
Report: Friday 20/04/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Bookeralis & I mustered on the 1st and laid skin on a match play /stableford show-down.
$2 a hole extravaganza – after halving the first, Booker starts prattling on about the Murray River, lemon tress and his new wardrobe, this was my cue to smash him into the ground and leave him wondering if his new 27 AGU handicap is a bit on the harsh side!
I walked off cash rich with 19 points after suspiciously 4 putting the ninth, Booker reckoned there were some positives to his meagre 12 point round but couldn’t expand with specific examples.
One of the most beautiful mornings at the Wake, as the sun broke through the mist we were the only ones out there – if you’re not there, you’re missing out.
Dom
Report: Friday 30/03/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
All a bit Woolly jumper and hot chocolates this morning, enjoyed the sunrise over the Pacific but lost the karma when Kim Jong Il and Megawati Sukarnoputri pushed in front of us and started World War III. After a bit diplomatic posturing and laying down some tough sanctions we focused on our own issues.
I found the groove and pumped three pars and a bird, Martin consistently set himself up for the 4 putt master class, Pauly battled conflicts of mind, unsure whether to take today’s nap in the morning or afternoon and Chris spent two hours taking IT helpdesk calls form his sister in law – 2 shot penalty for knowing about computers, 2 shot penalty for taking calls on the course and a life ban for enjoying his golf even when he is playing shit.
I’m forty, tearing up the cap and chowing down on free pizza.
Dom
Report: Friday 23/03/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
A close fought battle between Paul and Chris with both players having the opportunity to take the cash. A triple out of the green side bunker on the 8th by Chris set Paul up to level the game. Putting from 2m he lipped out on a potential 3pointer which enabled Chris to play the 9th with a 1 shot advantage.
From there it was never in doubt. A huge drive followed by a caressed 9iron onto the fringe set up a regulation 2 pointer. Paul tickled the pin coming in from the left then right but it wouldn't drop and the game was gone.
Clocks go back this weekend so hopefully numbers will be back up for the next few months as we commence play by 6am.
Report: Friday 16/03/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
Quality not quantity was the order of the day with only 2 players showing up this morning. If somebody with quality had shown up, they could of taken the booty! As it was, Chris and myself enjoyed a good game and showed some glimpses of good golf.
As a new member of Wakehurst, Chris opted for the back 9. With a gallery of onlookers putting the pressure on, we both planted 3 irons down the middle. I opened with a par, then had a couple of dodgy holes, whilst Chris played his usual steady golf. NTP on the 13th was hardly threatened and we both srambled away with 2 points. Another par for 4 points at the 14th brought me level, where we stayed until the 17th. Chris had a scratch (I'm informed he has cream for it now!) and I scrambled a point to edge in front by 1 going to the 18th. With 2 good tee shots and my approach just falling short of the green, Chris was feeling the pressure and pushed his shot towards the 17th tee box. He had another scratch (give the cream time to work boys!) and I 3 putted for a single point and the booty of a massive $5.
Report: Friday 02/03/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
It was a big morning for the aspirant PGA members with the tour only 1 week away and today’s event the last opportunity to settle the ‘caps before the tour. A few comments regarding sandbagging and we were off on a stroke morning. Andy found the left bushes, Paul the right whilst Dom & I choose the straighter path down the 1st.
Dom accelerated into form on the 2nd splashing out off the greenside bunker to nail a handy par. Andy opened up his swing on the 3rd with his No.2 Hybrid, which is giving him colossal distance off the tees. Nailed his wedge over the water and duly sunk his 2nd putt for par and followed this up with another par on the 4th and the NTP!
Dom was applying pressure and showing silverware winning form with 3 pars over 4 holes including a great par save on the 5th and Paul was playing steady with his irons.
With glory within reach the 8th shook up the field, I scored a Bogie whilst Andy and Paul shared double figures and suddenly it was all to play for up the 9th. Big D drove straight up fairway and was joined by CB, whilst Andy drew a shot into the practice range. Up on the green in regulation and 2 putt for par, I pipped Dom by 1 stroke with Andy 1 stroke further back.
A mighty close game, with 10 pars, that leaves 3 contenders going on tour with caps of 21.4!
Report: Friday 23/02/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Seven entrants to the Spazz and Mong regional finals assembled in the dark on the tenth tee at Wakehurst this morning. The only light on offer was the glow from my brand new Nike shoes, which cast an eerie and ominous light on the surrounding trees. Dom, Bill, Al (the Pimp) and I teed of first. Bill got an early start on his attempt to lose more Pro-V1’s than any other PGAer ever. And he did. By the end of the round he had lost count of how many of them he’d splatted into the bush, but final tally is about 2.7kg of the dear little buggers. Dom, not to be outdone by Bill’s record attempt, embarked on his own record attempt of not scoring any points for the whole round. Although he didn’t quite make it he did manage the first 6 holes – a new PB! This was accompanied by much equipment abuse, which nearly resulted in Al becoming the very first PGA casualty. Al, who won last week, played rubbish. I, on the other hand, was playing OK until Dom suggested a mini tournament on the last three holes and my game went to pieces. Bill, on the other hand, was overcome with the thought of winning $5 and blitzed the three holes, scoring nine of his 11 points for the round.
Unbelievably Chris, Paul and Wendell out-spazzed our group. Wendell, who has been taking lessons, show signs of brilliance with his final approach shots. Paul didn’t. Chris scraped together 12 points, which, sadly, was enough to get into a putt-off with me. He lost, the goose.
So, with the tour just TWO weeks away, and a score of 12 taking the sausage from a field of 7 today, you really have to think that anyone can win the trophy this Autumn.
Report: Friday 16/02/2007
Written by: Alan Bennett
Only five turned up for the alternative venue at Castle Cove. We stood on the first tee waiting for a couple of spazzers in front of us who didn’t want to hit off until the mist cleared. After ten minutes the mist had either cleared sufficiently or they were intimidated with the stares from Dom who was by now standing on the tee with a facial expression that flickered from penetrating glare to a look of disbelief. Both their tee shots went 50 metres and into the trees. It was going to be a slow morning.
Before we had picked groups, and regardless of the fact that I had arrived last, I stepped up to the tee first. I hope that this was taken as a sign that I meant business but was more likely interpreted as thoughtless arrogance. Bill and Paul joined me, with Dom and Chris behind.
We all played some good golf. Some nice tee shots, some not so nice, and the greens were in superb condition.
The highlight of the morning was on the tee of the (par 4) third hole. A nice wide fairway that ran parallel with the road but the 30m high trees along the course boundary provided an appropriate barrier. Bill stepped up to the tee with his driver and hit a powerful shot with nice distance, good height and unfortunately a severe slice that took his ball clear over the trees landing somewhere out of site on the road. Bill’s apology to the less than hot, plump power walking female who came down the road a few minutes later was answered with “I think you need some more practice before you are allowed back out in public!”
Only three weeks until golf, beer, banter, speeches, and bare nubile flesh.
Report: Friday 09/02/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The chairman was back to rally the troops on a dark and wet Friday morning. As Dom, Joff and Andy disappeared into the morning gloom, I was wondering about Andy's ambitious opening tee shot which sailed into the darkness over the trees but could have been headed anywhere... Andy duly reappears back at the 1st tee just as a shout from the boys declares his ball found and this sets him up for the first of 3 pars through the opening 4 holes! Andy is putting down a marker for the tour!
When Andy finished his morning hot streak, Dom was just kicking into gear, with 3 pars and an impressive birdie on the 7th. Dom breaks through the 18 handicap barrier for the first time, posting 20 points and is another Friday regular who will be contending strongly for PGA tour honours. No doubt the Fossil will be amongst the Calcutta favourites!
Paul took NTP honours on the 5th and has rediscovered his long iron draw swing. Whilst Martyn continued to show some great form with his LongMax irons.
Still I was delighted to be back on the course after a 2 week absence and was determined to keep myself in contention. 3 pars in 4 holes took my points tally out to 18 with 2 holes still remaining, which means I've dropped another stroke from my handicap and picked up the $25 prize - Yippeeeee!
Report: Monday 05/02/2007
Written by: Joff Pearce
At 05:50 on stroke play Friday the car park was chockers. It promised to be a record high turnout for the PGA in 2007. As it turned out it was a record low attendance with only Paul Eastern and Joff Pearce making it on to the tee, with possibly the highest stoke play winning score of the PGA. The round started OK for Paul and a traditional lost ball off the tee for Joff. There was a lot of golf in the day with a 10 for Paul on the 12th and a 10 for Joff on the 17th giving the scorer trouble with the addition on the 17th. Neither payer troubled the NTP hole with another lost ball for Joff and a bunker shot from Paul. With Joff feeling the pressure of a potential win at the 18th, Paul put his tee shot over the access road to the left, Joff also went left and ended up on the road. Paul’s provisional wasn’t much better also ending up on the road. However persistence by Joff (the only ever-present player of 2007) with steady improvement over January saw him win stroke play Friday by 3 shots. The final scores Paul 57 net 46, Joff 61 net 43.
Report: Thursday 25/01/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Two members and a wannabe arrived to a dark, misty and humid Wakehurst car park. There was so much moisture in the air that at one stage 3 fish swam past.
After paying our green fees we proceeded to the 10th tee. The early morning light was battling to penetrate the thick mist and an eerie quiet hung over the deserted course. As we teed up the first ball a shout rang out from the bushes, “Scramble! Scramble! Scramble!”, and suddenly 14 groundsmen on a variety of mechanical mowers appeared miraculously from the undergrowth and proceeded to swarm all over the tenth hole… And 25 minutes later we were off.
Joff blatted his first two tee shots into the bush. Martyn joined him, the fool. With that out of their systems things settled down to a fairly decent standard of golf. A total of 7 pars were scored by the group, and Martyn and I notched up seven of those between us. Joff lost at least one ball on every hole but still scored well, notching up 10 points. Having played every week since the New Year he is showing obvious signs of improvement – one to watch for the future.
Martyn was hitting the long irons beautifully and won nearest the pin again this week. Three pars put him in contention for the sausage, but in a long-awaited return to the podium I managed to seal my first win in a very long time. I nearly cried.
A special hello to one of our (many) international readers of Pommygolf.com: Bruce, good luck for the triathlon this weekend. 6!
Report: Friday 19/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
An early start and finished by 8am. Six starters with Joff again appearing and now being eligible for membership subject to the usual speeches etc.
The golf was back to the usual PGA standard this week with no birdies and no handicap busting performances. After Dom's recent 43 point competition round, he was out to give the course a good thrashing but Wakehurst struck back as it often does.
Paul looked good finishing the 9th with a par and I scored a par on the 8th which I have rarely acheived. Andy, Martyn and Joff all attacked the 9th green but 2 unlucky bounces allowed the bootinee to slip away as the new Chairman claimed a hatrick of wins to start 2007.
Report: Friday 12/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Birdie Friday
The golfing gods were smiling this morning as the PGA recorded an unprecedented high with what surely must be a Friday record for us of 5 Birdies!
Martyn “Longiron” Lomax set the tone for the morning with some speed golf to score a birdie on the 1st. By the 5th he was at it again tapping in following a fabulous approach on the par3 and claiming NTP honours too.
Not being one to miss out on the action Andy Hill, was next to post a birdie. Drilling his Rescue2 to within 30m of the water hazard guarding the 7th, Andy then dropped his approach wedge onto the low side of the pin and sunk the putt. Great golf made to look easy.
I scored my 4th 3pointer of the morning on the 8th and as we trundled around to the 9th tee there was plenty of incentive to score well. A long drive up the centre of the fairway was just the ticket. Andy was first onto the green with his approach shot settling with 2m of the flag and I managed to squeeze my ball in alongside Andy’s. I was putting first and was in with a 1 putt for Birdie number 4 followed by Andy for Birdie number 5!
Dom and Joff shared the course with the greenkeepers with Dom recording 15 points over the first 7 holes before two botty wipes at the close. CB took the $20 cash with his second 3 under ‘cap round of the New Year.
Report: Friday 05/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The first Friday of the New Year saw 5 players contending for the Stroke Event. Paul tossed the balls and picked himself a threesome to play with. Joff (previous tour long drive winner) bashed his first shot of the year sideways off the 10th tee and played the rest of the hole with his knob out. Taking the Stroke event format to a new level Joff then scored an untidy 14 on the 11th, but later recovered for a par on the 13th and finished strongly.
Martyn and Paul went head to head and tied a number of holes before the longmax opened up his swing, sunk some pars and posted an impressive handicap equalling score.
Dom & I played up the rear of the threesome. Dom disappeared into the woods several times but came out smiling and tickled his ball near the hole more than once. The old fella started grumbling about how hard he is and how he likes soft balls then proceeded to shoot his load with 3 pars on 4 holes.
I managed to keep some control, found some decent length with my Driver and got my ball in the hole when it counted. A $40 win and a handicap reduction - great start for 2007.
Report: Saturday 23/12/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Me & Pauly tearing up the fairways and peppering the greens - in our dreams, before we woke up and teed off at wakey. I traded pars with wipes, Paul traded wipes with wipes.
Still we saw a Wallaby bouncing down the 7th and got all our crap shots out of the way before next Friday's $80 bonanza!
I won.
Happy Christmas Folks.
Dom
Report: Friday 15/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Just four members for the 4Club + Putter event. Personally I don't think that the limited clubs impacted too many shots and outcomes on holes. The game was there for the winning with Martyn picking up a 4 pointer on the 2nd and Andy impressed the greenkeepers with his long approach to the 3rd.
With the scores tied on the 9th Martyn & I had a putt-off with Bill selecting a tricky sloping putt across the practice green. In keeping with my generally putting all round I continued to miss the fricking hole but Martyn's miss handed me the sausage.
Report: Friday 08/12/2006
Written by: Martyn Lomax
The IT sub committee met at Balgowlah this morning, planning on having a non-scoring round to discuss PGA-IT business (mostly due to lack of planning for the presentation scheduled for the Bi-AGM).
As the Wake had a comp on we were caught out by both the out going and newly appointed chairmen. Mumbles of kicking people out of the PGA for sneaky behavior were short lived as the discussion turned to $s in and swing analysis.
Bill looked like the favorite early on, with a chip in from the bunker on the 1st for a bird. He was using the course, and surroundings, well and even managed to get his ball to bounce from the oval back on to the 9th.
With my spare shot in hand on the 9th I managed to sneak ahead of the pack with a bird, and some unlucky putting from Chris and Bill sealed the win. Andrew played well, but lost the plot with a wipe on the 9th.
The IT department are still no closer to having presentation prepared, I'll wing it after a few Boag's.
Report: Wednesday 06/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Round 2 End of Year Championships
The winner of the inaugural PGA Championships is Neil who kept his cool and utilised his commanding first round lead to take the trophy and $140 cash prize. Andy Hill showed great skill and determination to make a major 2nd round challenge but a lack of pars on the final holes eventually cost him the championship.
The field was cut from 7 to 4 as Dom Wells (injury), Bill (work) and Alan (no show) whilst Martyn came out to play the final round. The new chairman (CB) put down a challenge, but faded over the final 2 holes, whilst Paul posted a big double figure number on the 11th which effective ended his title ambitions.
Well done to every who joined in the competition and extended congratulations to Neil who is our first PGA End of Year Champion.
Position Total Handicap Adjusted
1. Neil 90 18 72
2. Andy 96 21 75
3. Chris 102 25 77
4. Paul 103 21 82
DNF - Dom
DNF - Bill
DNF - Alan
Report: Friday 01/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
At the half point of the inaugural PGA End of Year Championships, the 7 members contending posted some very impressive scores.
Leading the field after 9 holes is Neil Davis, who after a late arrival has played an exceptional game to carve his way around Wakehurst. 4Pars and a Birdie speak volumes for the improvements that Neil has made to his game. Dom too was playing with steely focus, 4 Par and 4 Bogeys has underlined a determined challenge from this consistent performer.
Big Alan submitted one of his best cards of the year including an impressive finish on the 9th green. Not to be out done, Paul choose this occasion to go low, 2 strokes under 'cap. Andy tried to eliminate 2 players from the field with his approach shot onto the 9th which nearly wiped out two founder members!
The prize money has been set at $140 and consensus is that the 2nd Round will now be played on Wednesday 6th December, which suits the active socialites as Christmas festivities kick in.
Event
| Player | Handicap | Gross | Net |
|---|
| Neil | 18 | 41 | 32 |
| Dom | 18 | 44 | 35 |
| Paul | 22 | 46 | 35 |
| Chris | 25 | 50 | 37.5 |
| Alan | 36 | 56 | 38 |
| Andy | 22 | 50 | 39 |
| Bill | 25 | 54 | 41.5 |
Report: Friday 24/11/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
We had 4 starters and 1 late arrival, Andy attacked the green from the 1st tee and landed it on 2nd. I don’t think we will see much of that style of play over the next couple of weeks!
Big Alan joined us on the first and showed great form scoring 8 points over the first three holes. Paul and Martyn split off from the group of 5 and scored a mixed bag. Paul scored of every hole, which is good form coming into End of Year Championships.
A par on the 4th kicked started my round, whilst Andy was showing some fine touches chipping in from the edge on the 5th and a nice long putt that he sunk on the 7th. Alan faded over the last 2 holes but was looking good value for a win today.
The $20 is handy as I lost 4 balls today – three on the 3rd! Next week EOY championships commence and we will be looking for an earlier start time for the stroke format.
Report: Friday 17/11/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Two Mongs out this morning.
We wondered around chatting about Mr Men books and mobile phones, stopping occasionally to swing at discarded balls that we would come across in previously undiscovered out of bound areas.
Chrissy scored only one stableford point and I scored two, which means he is twice the spaz that I am.
Can more people please turn up, $5 barley covers lunch these days!
Report: Friday 10/11/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I don’t think it’s right to laugh at Spaz’s and Mongs but I was happy to make an exception when, after 4 shots Paul still hadn’t made it to the ladies tee on the 10th. He got his knob out and confirmed he is happy to buy us a jug each in Port Stephens – Fair call.
Talking of knobs, team one, Andy, Martyn and Paul waited until the 14th to score any points and must have been pleased after finishing up with 12 points between them. Their wheelchair access ‘mobility bus’ arrived to take them home, so after me and Booker hit a few balls at them they went home to have their nappies changed.
Booker, who was wearing a going out shirt that had a remarkable resemblance to the new PGA members shirt and I played alright with a few botty wipes and a few pars, my par on the 18th was enough to secure a soft victory.
So I am $20 bucks better off, enabling me to offset the cost of my growing golf shoe obsession. (I’ve got so many pairs I had a different one on each foot this morning).
It’s sunny and I am by the pool – see ya Lezzers.
Dom
Report: Friday 03/11/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
You can't beat a good stroke with your mates on a Friday morning!
Waiting to tee off at the 10th, we turned as Andy announced the arrival of 'BIG AL'. It was an easy mistake to make as 'BIG CHRISSY BOOKER' came into full view! Was this a sign of things to come....
With a familiar looking 5, we split into the A Grade of myself, Dom and Andy with 'BIG CHRISSY' and Bill following up the rear! With 40 bucks up for grabs, it was important to get off to a good start. Andy, still thinking of the uncanny resemblance between Al and Chris (that nobody had spotted before!) duly staked his claim by carding an 11! With Chris and Bill playing some steady golf behind, Dom decided to stake his own claim and duly carded an 11 on the 15th! Andy, believing himself to be out of the competition, put together a remarkable 8 holes (which would of netted him 21 stableford points), parring the 12th and a birdie on the 17th. As the scores were tallied up after the 17th, Andy trailed me by a solitary shot to pile the pressure on. With the tricky 18th green waiting, there was only one thing to do, chip in from off the green for par. Dom found his form with a par and Andy carded a 5 for what was almost the greatest comeback ever. A couple of dodgy holes for Chris and Bill with an uncharacteristic no pars between them, for two of the form players, left me with the pot.
Andy, very unlucky mate, but that's what stroke can do. Cheers lads
Report: Friday 27/10/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
$35 bucks worth of players made their way to the 10th, some a little later than others. Fortunately we’d already commandeered the tee and the growing throngs of members and United Nations representatives had to sit and wait as the PGA took their rightful spot; “wherever they jolly well like”.
The 3 ball was headed up by Dom who drove a sweet left hooker into the trees, luckily bouncing out just ahead of the ladies tee. Dom and Paul didn’t follow suit and hit the fairway to charge away down the track, only to be headed off at the pass by an army of busy greenkeeping worker bees spilling out on to the course to wreck the peace.
Up steps the 4 ball, me first, driving with confidence into the water over yonder. Ronnie into the trees, whilst Chris and Martyn drilled them down the middle. The sighs of disbelief from the United Nations gallery (at least 10 players) could be heard on the 1st. “Bugger” we thought as we waddled off to find our balls.
So as not to bore the pants off any one who wasn’t there, I‘ll summise;
Chris played well but not up to his usual standard. There was some out of bounds action as well as some consistent bunker work, consistently in them anyway.
Martyn showed signs of brilliance off the tee except when Ronnie and I were loudly discussing the latest Duck dish to hit Kylie Kwongs menu which forced him to spack his drive. He did however put the UN under fire on the 17th with a low flying missile which was quite amusing. I’m still confident he could get some sort of sponsorship in the longest drive with 9 iron competition.
Ronnie found his mojo last weekend at Testicle Hill Golf course in the deep South, but unfortunately left it there. He looked the part but fell apart as shots sprayed around the place like Arnie with gatling gun.
As for me, the original Lemon was back in the bag today and had an impressive 80% success rate today, certainly contributing to the final score. My other clubs were pretty sweet and the greens at Wakey are of the highest quality at present, helping everyone’s putting.
I did hear a tale of Dom's new ebay Hi-Bore Quarter Pounder with Cheese metallic Kermit the frog green graphite driver was involved in an equipment abuse incident on the 17th tee after 'it' shanked the ball into the rough. Apparently the driver followed the ball after the shot but only achieved a distance of about 8 metres compared to the ball's 85 metres. That was Kofi’s story anyway.
Special mention goes out to Ronnie who is making a habit of forgetting his clothes. So today he borrowed mine. Although I had the last laugh as I saw him drive away this morning as I lent him a pair of jeans with a rip in the undercarriage!! Lets see how his meeting with new clients goes today when they see his old chap on their board room chairs.
So anyhoo, I won, again, and collected the sausage with 19 points, 2 weeks on the trot. Have I shot my bolt too early? Wouldn’t be the first time.
With the approaching EOY champ’s I might just play sh!t again next week for the stroke event, just to keep you guessing.
Bill
Report: Friday 20/10/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
Fluffy animals hadn’t made it onto the course before Dom squashed one as I followed him on the Wakey Parkway. This pleased him greatly as at least he knew his ABS worked. I arrived, covered in possum/cat (whatever it used to be) blood and guts ready for battle on the unfairways.
5 brave warriors this morning, off the front, with me and Andy leading the charge.
Dom started well but shot his man juice before he closed the deal and ended up wishing he was as good as me.
Paul scored solidly all the way but nerves about this afternoons dusting of ‘the best china’ crept in and his scored slipped back.
CB had a 10m putt from off the fringe on the 9th to equal my 19 points but it missed by an inch, so for the 1st time in a while, he payed for his own golf.
Andy was all over the show despite his usually consistent value bats, early morning breast feeding still isn’t sitting well him.
I played fantastic (for me) with 3 pars and some great point saves. Testimony to not playing for a few weeks and letting the voices in my head f*ck off.
A special mention goes out to the green keeper who aside from royally pi$$ing us off by staying a few metres ahead of us all morning and delaying play somewhat, did a bloody good job of trimming the greens, in fact the whole course is looking pretty special.
They are obviously preparing for the EOY PGA Championships, like me.
Report: Friday 13/10/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Yankee Doodle do, Brunka is back! Jeff rocks up, slots into the lead pairing and coolly hammers a Jap Bat 5 iron down the 10th.. Dom finds a wet splash down in the OOB water hazard on the 16th, Ronnie slams an iron down the centre followed by Andy and myself – game on. Fortunately the A grade pairing failed to score on the first 4 holes before their games kicked in they and came home strong with a pair of pars each.
Ronnie was playing some fine golf with long irons and fine chips around the greens. It won’t belong until we see some handicap reductions from RB. With the northerly tail wind Andy was hitting huge rescue/iron shot combinations into the greens but a couple of shots OOB cost him the $ today. Nothing special from CB, no pars and too many missed putts but no wipes either to win the twenty.
See you all next week.
[EDITOR - Note to players: Cap adjustments from the pre-tour Friday game have been reversed. Please contact IT if you have any queries on 1800 767554321000235463 ext 312]
[EDITOR - Note to Bruce: Bliksem! Een punt agter die wenner. Kan jy dit glo!?]
Report: Friday 06/10/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Stroke Friday took its toll, with some neat golf, impressive pars and a birdie from Dom ruined by some big number scores as Wakehurst bit back.
CB riding high after the PGA tour win opened up the scoring with a par whilst Dom was an early high score casualty, following a messy landing after finding the front sand. However DW put that behind him and blasted a huge drive down fairway No.2 that bounced and rolled to leave a wedge shot into the front green position, but then decided to extract some extra value practice shots from his round by twice finding OOB right before splashing into the bunker. Whilst I was required to twice play shots using a reverse left hander style as the trees held up play.
AH and PE casually ignored our high scoring and were lookin
