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Pommy Golf Association
Established 2002 Sydney, Australia |
Chairman:
Treasurer: Secretary: |
Chris Booker Marc Chappel Dominic Wells |
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PGA Weekly Reports
- Archive:
- 2008 to date
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
Report: Friday 13/03/2009
Written by: Andrew Hill
I wiped the first hole to give Dom and Chris a chance, but I still smashed 'em by 5 points. Will this be my Tour? Do you like a bet?
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Report: Friday 23/01/2009
Written by: Chris Booker
The summer has taken its toll with only Chris and Dom still making the 6am start line. For the 2nd week its been matchplay format and HOT. Two down with 3 to play Dom is a picture of composure and self-confidence. A sublime pitch and putt, up and down for Par looked good but was only enough to half the 7th.
We 2 months till the Gong Tour Chris pulled out his new Taylormade R7 irons and the resulting 3/1 win gave Dom enough time to lose another ProV1 on the walk up to the club house.
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Report: Friday 09/01/2009
Written by: Dominic Wells
After a toilet start Big Al thought today was his, but alas his charge over the final four holes were not enough to repair his dismal start...maybe this year will be the one where Al joins Chatswood golf club, maybe its worth holding out a few more months to see if the Credit Crunch brings down the price a bit further. Whatever he decides, a grown man with no less than 4 appendages attached to his torso should be ashamed of his stratospheric handicap and his 2009 Personal Goal Resolution Planner thingo really should include a decision on his future in this sport.
Had I not caught Chris cheating he would have avoided the five hole putt off trauma that I ultimately won.
Looking forward to having Pauly and Andy back on the circuit and hopefully Al becoming a regular crowd pleaser.
Am I the only looser who's already getting excited about the Gong?
Dom
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Report: Friday 19/12/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Big Paul deservedly took the pre-Xmas cash with a solid performance from his faithful 3 iron. Will 2009 see the return of any woods in his bag? Perhaps Santa knows the answer!
Dom suffered a double mystery missing ball up both the 8th and 9th - saving himself for Saturday's comp???
Thanks for another great golfing year everyone. We have had our awesome Platinum tour to Barnbougle Dunes, the Classic at Kooindah Waters and another tough and well battled out tour up the coasat at Magina. Thank you to everyone who's has contributed to the continued organisation of PGA events and we can look forward to the new year with The Gong in March.
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Report: Friday 05/12/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Another PGA record shattered!
The back 9 at Wakehurst was subjected to an intense mauling by the Chairman who opened up with Birdie and proceeded to score a further 4 pars. The Doors will record a Stroke day 41 off the stick, NTP and 4 under ‘cap. Boom.
I hope Andy isn't late paying!
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Report: Friday 28/11/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Just Paul & I out for stroll around the back nine. Paul had 13 points thru the last 6 holes, winning form in anyone's book. But was pipped by the chairman who sunk a birdie putt on 16th to wrestle the lead. Like a rabied dog, frothing at the mouth with the scent of victory I wasn't going to let a determined late challenge take the cash-o-la.
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Report: Friday 21/11/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
I’m going to buy a lotto ticket after that round. With a birdie on 6th followed by an approach to the 7th that bounced into the hole. Sweet!
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Report: Friday 14/11/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
On another great morning for golf, Dom made a wise decision to duck out this morning as Andy and myself put on a fine display. There was nothing to separate us from the first shot until the 7th as we matched each other hole for hole, point for point, both sitting on 12 points after 6 holes. On the 7th, Andy's 2nd to the green took a bad bounce out of bounds to open the door for me, which I gratefully accepted, taking a 2 point lead. I made the extra shot for me count on the 8th to open up a 3 point advantage going into the last. With the pressure off, I sent a sweet tee shot down the Tiger line as Andy played his straight down the middle. His 2nd to the green left him with a guaranteed par and 3 points which put the pressure back on as I discovered I'd found the bunker. Scrambling out and then finding the slope at the back of the green, it was looking like a putt off was on the cards. Andy duly took his par and I managed to save a point and take the big bucks.
Chris texted in to see if his 42 point total at the Pambula Comp (which the bandit won!) qualified!
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Report: Friday 31/10/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
The flies are back.
Smashed it!
D
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Report: Friday 24/10/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
After our 3 day celebration of everything glorious about the PGA and golf, it was back to business at the Wake. Someone forgot to tell the weatherman that we were back from Tassie and he sent us out in biting cold. Beanies, jackets and gloves – where was summer? A tight cluster of balls at the first dogleg suggested we are getting the hang of this course – playing from the very front tees.
2 holes later the field was scattered far and wide. Our Platinum champion showed impressive form with birdie on 7th and charged home with 9points over the last 3 holes. Andy aimed for double figures but fell agonizingly short but has got a new putter. Paul was just pleased he could tell Charlotte that he wasn’t fourth this week and finished with a Par. I scored a cap buster and $30 bucks.
So with only 6 months till the tour, foci turns to the Saturday night and a BIG drink up to say a fond farewell to Bill. See you at the Opera Bar – just don’t let Marty near the Baileys.
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Report: Friday 03/10/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
Four pairs of hairy white legs, sticking out of shorts that have seen little action for the past 6 months, strode confidently onto the first tee. Dom drove his tee shot almost 34 metres and Chris shanked his into the water on his way to an opening 11. Paul and I weren't much better. God help us at Barnbougle!
Paul and I were all square at the end and had a putt off on the 18th...
For the boys who handed over all their cash to me and are broke for the long weekend, here is a Banana Bread recipe that you can use for an inexpensive treat.
Ingredients
110g butter, soft
200g caster sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
285g (2 level cups) self- raising flour
4 ripe bananas, mashed
Method
Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Grease a 13cm by 25cm loaf tin and dust with flour.
Meanwhile cream the butter and sugar together until light in colour. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well. Fold in the flour and mashed banana alternately. Mix until all ingredients are incorporated.
Spoon the mixture into the tin and bake for 50 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. If the top of the bread gets too dark cover it with foil and continue to bake.
Leave to cool in the tin for 15 minutes and turn out onto a wire rack to continue to cool.
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Report: Friday 26/09/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Dom maintained his recent run of form with another Birdie on the 6th. Putting from 1m after an impressive approach. Pauley is more concerned about getting a stroke back before the tour , I'm sure he'll be out there over the next two weeks! With all the talk on the tour, now only 3 weeks away, it was time for the chairman to break the drought.
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Report: Friday 19/09/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
The Chairman had a quiet word with me about my rambling apple story last week, said it wasn’t funny enough and I should try to be more descriptive about the weather, number of shots taken per hole, how quick the greens were running etc. but I am the King with all the money, a diamond mine in South Australia and a handicap smaller than a Gerbil’s nut sack. Millions of pars today, 3 for me plus a couple of birds left me 3 over off the stick, Hillsong pushed for some coin but could only manage a weak par to finish..thses days that just ain’t good enough!
D
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Report: Friday 12/09/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Does anyone ever read these?
When I got home from golf this morning some scruffy old geezer who said he was a farmer walked up my drive and sold me a box of apples and a box of mandarins for a hungey. He said if I keep them in the shade they will last for three months. I recon there is 50 apples and 50 mandarins in each box which means Booker , Paul and Andy each discounted my investment by 5 apples and 5 mandarins. Sweet.
D
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Report: Friday 05/09/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
The fair weather golfers that Andy was expecting still didn't show, then again Andy didn't either (after all there were some clouds on the horizon).There were reported sightings of him seen leaving a tanning salon!
So to the first we headed with opening pars for me and Chrissy. Being stroke Friday no-one could afford to slip up, so all three of us duly found the water on the third! Dom followed his 8 with a mighty 10 on the fourth to end any hopes of breakfast on the boys. Chris played his usual tidy game with a slight lead until he found the trees and not his ball on the eighth. This gave Dom a slight hope, asking Chris to put another couple in there. With Chris carding a 9 my opportunity opened up and I made sure with a par on the ninth. Four pars, NTP and a cap busting round of 2 under sets me up perfectly for 'The Chairmans Invitational' at Kooindah Waters tomorrow. 40 bucks the richer, I'm off to raise my offer on a house!!
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Report: Friday 15/08/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
The worm has turned. Warm sun greeted us on the first tee rather than the stark cold winter darkness we have endured for the last few months. A steady stream of fair weather PGA golfers is expected to join the morning throngs as Spring kicks in and the tour looms.
My balls were glowing this morning, as if by magic.
Wipes and pars abounded. Chris, Dom and Paul fought it out for second place. It was pathetic.
Thanks for the funds boys, Fiji Bitter has never tasted so sweeeeeeeeeeeet.
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Report: Friday 01/08/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
I kissed a girl and I liked it…
Booker was laying into it early but fell apart offering is ball up twice to every bunker on the 4th, a couple of O.A.B’s on the 5th and he declared himself G.A.Y.
Mr Price applied the pressure despite his poor quality golf outfit aimed at the low income 16 to 24 year old Cape Towner. By the ninth he thought he had a chance but I crushed his self esteem and bank balance by sinking a cool birdie putt.
It was warm and light by 6.15am this morning, only 12 weeks away from our Tasmanian extravaganza, time to shape up, sharpen your mind and learn to win.
Another $40 bucks in my Clacutta bucket.
…taste of her cherry chap stick.
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Report: Friday 18/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Andy got into gear for the Freeman cup by wiping the first 3 holes. Clearly he found the humiliation of wearing a Pink cap too much and spent the early holes scurrying around in the bushes. Dom showed some delicate touches and with 4 pars should have done better. However a good week on the course golf continued for the Chairman, who after winning the IBM golf day at Terrey Hills kept it steady to take out the Friday pot.
A reminder to all that the Freeman Cup is Sat 26th July at Kooindah Waters.
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Report: Friday 11/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
As a true Scotsman Big Alan turns up in mid winter completely under dressed for the occasion. Not to be deterred by a wind chill of 1C he picks a ball from his sporran and strokes it down the fairway. Times have changed since Al last joined us – we used to play in daylight – so with fingers turning blue we all did well to score on the first.
The bitter wind was our excuse for all wiping the 2nd, but I can’t make any excuses for Dom trying the old “I didn’t know you got an extra stroke on that hole” trick!
Pars were a premium and anything close to the green in regulation impressive. Dom tried gamely to hang in there with a par on the 8th giving him hope. But like a good catholic priest his chances of coming from behind were spoilt by a messy attempt to enter the final green through the backdoor.
With the odds of a win stacked firmly in my favour I took aim at the Korean ladies rudely putting on our green and sent them scurrying back to where they belonged.
Thanks for the game fellas and bring on the Freeman Cup.
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Report: Friday 04/07/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Not the best of Friday's for Wellsy, who unloaded half a dozen ProV1's into various ponds, bushes, scrub and OOB's before proceeding back into the proshop to start haggling about the price of balls. "They weren't that expensive in my day".... on top of that he had the indignity of having to hand over a twenty to the chairman after getting battered 3&2 in matchplay.
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Report: Friday 27/06/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Wellsy was back from Thailand and was surprisingly knowledgable on the Euro-man with ladyboy scene. Pauley and I tried to concentrate on the golf but clearly the mid-winter break had done the "old fossil" some good and he displayed some nice touches around the greens allowing him to recoup a twenty.
Should be noted that Paul sunk a massive 25 footer on the 13th for a birdie and had another ripper one-put on eleven. But the golfing gods got their revenge!!!
Hit them straight
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Report: Friday 20/06/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
In an attempt to make golf more attractive to working men Andy suggested that we only play 7 holes. So off the back we went in the dark muttering about fluro balls. Clearly focused by the newly shorten version of the great game, Andy was quickly into full swing and was the only scorer on the 10th.
Andy marched onwards to a mid winter victory and looked to have the game bagged after par'ing the par3 13th. Paul was taking his time getting into gear and was possibly more interested in getting home to watch Euro2008.
Andy's wayward approach to 15th opened the window and I didn't need a second invitation to haul back 3 points, a pair of bogey's on 16 meant we were all tied up after 7holes. The old fart playing behind embarrassed himself after giving us some lip earlier he barely managed to reach the water hazard and after fishing for his ball decided not to mess with the PGA's finest. Pauley by now was ready to rumble!!
Now we had a 2 hole "play-off" but it was all over after 17, Andy licking his wounds and running off down 18 without hitting a shot.
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Report: Friday 23/05/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Sitting here on my throne like a muscled up version of David Beckam, I can but reflect on my less fortunate playing partners, Booker like a lame kitten sniffing his way around a parless, wipe tainted round, Pauley limping across the finish like a middle aged fun runner and Andy finishing strong but still mentally fragile following his wife’s rejection of her mother’s day present.
As for me, another flawless cap buster.
On a final note (if you are still reading) I have been forced into a position that makes me both uncomfortable and sad. An outstanding Platinum deposit remains, despite continuous polite requests and sympathetic time extension the situation has remained unchanged. In order not compromise the individual beyond their own self guilt I have decided not to name them publically however I could not resist the temptation to keep you guessing with this cunning riddle…..
He is Scottish and his name rhymes with Alan Bennet,
See ya losers
Dom
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Report: Friday 16/05/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The King was radiating confidence in the pre-dawn darkness. However a pair of early botty wipes revealed he is a mere mortal. Three pars late in the game indicate Dom’s swing was in good shape, once there was enough light to see the ball.
Pauley got off to a flyer, played a solid a round and on other weeks would have taken the cash. But the absence of any pars tells the story here.
Martyn was solid, talked a good game and provided enjoyable company for me. Recovering from an early setback I got a hatrick of 3 pointers and birdied 7th before finishing poorly up 9th. Nervously clutching the card, it was all smiles in the back group and when Andy sunk a par on the final green he thought he done enough to take 40 on offer.
A putt-off sorted out the destination of this weeks cash and will be invested into a crate of Pure Blondes for tomorrow's BBQ.
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Report: Friday 09/05/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
More wipes than a Kleenex test lab and slower than a que for castration this round confirmed my position in history as the Ultimate King of the PGA.
DW.
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Report: Friday 02/05/2008
Written by: Paul Easten
A cold morning wasn't enough to keep the men away, as a total of 5 saw us having to draw for groups. Andy, Dom and myself in group 1, placed 3 perfect tee shots before suggesting that the stake be 20 bucks for todays stroke event. Chris and Martyn were up for it and both followed with equally good tee shots.
It just wasn't happening for Dom today without a par, but Andy showed us yet again why it won't be long before he lifts a trophy with some good solid golf, chipping in for par on the 9th. An opening par and 4 on the bounce between the 5th and 8th put me in the driving seat. Chris and the Longmax were pinging balls at us from all over to suggest they were in the hunt. However, with 5 pars, NTP and a cap busting round of 5 under, the honours were mine along with 80 Big Ones.
Chris and Dom, unaccustomed to getting their hands in their pockets on a Friday morning (or Friday night I hear!) were sent scurrying to their cars to raid the ashtrays and down the backs of seats to scrape together enough shrapnel to sink the Manly Ferry!!
Cheers lads
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Report: Friday 25/04/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
ANZAC pre-dawn finds Mr Hill preparing for a morning raid. With the coordinates dialled in for the back nine it's a bit worring when the early shots start missing the target. After 12 days of rain a few soaky lies are expected and we use this excuse to console ourselves for erratic play.
Pars were at a premium until the Chairman managed to roll one in on the 16th. Andy immediately pulled out his big weapon and fired a ripper down the 17th to pull a shot back. A quick tally up showed AH would need his best swing down the 18th and he didn't disappoint with two majestic woods to the fringe. Staring a crushing defeat in the eyes I dropped a bomb of a wedge into the pin and tucked it away to take the game.
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Report: Friday 18/04/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Buoyed by his countryman’s success in the Master Any Hillsong went for the green off the 1stTee, but being born in same country does not make up for lack of talent, very thin legs and no talent and he end up in the bush….however his day will come.
Pauly birded the first, parred the second and scored a couple of other pars on route to a handy round, despite wiping the 8th he was sitting on 18 points by the 9th.
Booker found trouble on the 9th when some middle-aged blonde number started playing Ting Tong tricks with his well driven ball; he chastised her and asked her to replace his ball once she had cleaned it thoroughly.
So on the 9th we had Paul on 18pts, Andy on 18pts, me on 17pts and Booker happily sniffing his ball but with some lame score.
I am the only one who can putt, so while the other mongs three putted I slotted a sweet 4 footer in one.
I won they lost and 3 handicaps went down.
Dom
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Report: Friday 11/04/2008
Written by: Andrew Hill
Waiting in the cold on the 10th tee the passing greenkeeper sniggered at our shorts and said ‘you’re brave’. Not as brave as Marty’s hot-pants, I thought.
Play got underway without further humiliation and we were soon into our stride, spaying balls randomly around the course. Paul picked up the NTP on the 13th and a few pars were made on the par threes. We had a chat with the Butcher from Balgowlah on the 16th tee (I thought he was French but it turns out he’s a scouser), who told us that Man U were in control the whole game.
Chris parred the 17th and then initiated a conversation about how putting and whacking off were so similar… Paul and I agreed out of politeness.
Then Chris was almost killed by a stray drive on the 18th, not a word of warning from the perpetrator (who looked French to me, from a distance).
Paul wanted to go for a beer after the game – he obviously doesn’t have much planned for the rest of the day.
[Bruce and Katie, good luck for the Ironman on Sunday.]
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Report: Friday 28/03/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Hello Goobers
Just raised my Magina enterprise value by smashing 3 pars and a bird for a solid if somewhat protected 20 large.
Wendel showed a bit of form after playing ping pong with Ting Tong on the Asia tour for the past 3 weeks and Pauley was showing the odd touch of magic after a week of horse riding on Fraser Island, said his ar5e was a bit sore which got Wendel all excited reminiscing about truncheon love in pad pong.
All right fellas, looks like I am up for another tour win, the trophy is polished (and in one piece), my going out cords are ironed and I have committed to my life coach to stay off the V&O’s.
I’ll see a few of you at the Waratahs tonight the rest of you monkeys had better hit the range early.
The tour is upon us.
D
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Report: Friday 21/03/2008
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Everyone played shit, I played slightly less shit.
The bad weather was probably good practice for the tour, forecast looks like Magenta could be wet and windy.
I'm in the zone, bring it on!
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Report: Friday 14/03/2008
Written by: Martyn Lomax
4 months off really does your game a lot of good. With no practice I came back to the Wake with the classic long iron style. However pulling 21 points out of the bag could prove costly at Magenta.
The regular PGAers were out, Dom, Chris and Paul all with solid games. Lots of pars, and only 5 botty wipes between us. The standard of play was great, anyone would think a tour was coming up.
We all got pars on the 6th, even me from off the green.
4 months until I play next, I'll look forward to taking your $10 sometime during July.
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Report: Friday 07/03/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Stroke Friday welcomed back Andy Hill, who displayed a great swing as he muscled his way back into contention for the Magenta tour in a 3 weeks. With 2 pars and the NTP, Andy stamped down his mark upon return from an injury ravaged season. Big Pauley aka Matt Dunning peeled off his house clothes and showed the lads the steady long iron draw which is becoming his trademark. Paul opened up his card with an easy Par. These 2 are making themselves contenders for the prestigious tour trophy.
Usually stroke Friday delivers high scores but today 11 pars were recorded. Dom pushed hard on the final hole. With 4 pars already recorded he found some green side trouble and was only pipped for the cash by the Chairman tapping in his 4th par, to take a slender 1 stroke win. With $30 and a 'cap buster I’m looking forward to a few ales and a tasty pub lunch.
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Report: Friday 29/02/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
Nine hours of rain does nothing to dampen Dom’s enthusiasm, nor the Baltic conditions that required us to rug up. For February the weather is a joke. Let’s hope for improvements in time for the Magenta tour. Seven wipes, bunkers resembling water hazards & a bucket of balls lost between us. Hopefully this says more for the conditions that our golfing prowess.
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Report: Friday 22/02/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The muscle men of the PGA squared up for a best of British dog fight around the Wake. With the moon casting the only light on the first tee a fully ripped D Wells, blazed the trail down the first fairway. An impressive drive on nearly 50m bought back memories of the pre-dawn raids at royal Chatswood.
Pauley showed us how it was done drawing his opening salvo to the corner. Game on. By the 2nd the first rays of sunlight were blamed for Dom’s lost ball, Paul and I temporarily blinded trying to track down this monster drive – but gone it was. With the game slipping away so early Dom turned conversation from golf to his preferred morning tickle – Mosman wives, then broaching unchartered ground on suggestions of a topless calendar for the website. This got Pauley’s heart racing and soon testosterone fuelled shots were raining down on the greens.
All to play for up the 9th, Wellsy had a birdie putt opportunity that slipped passed by but he took consolation in finishing strong with a 3pointer for 14. Paul sunk his bogey putt (17) leaving me with needing to sink a hairy cross green putt for the game, $20 and a played to ‘cap round. Boom - game over.
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Report: Friday 08/02/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
It never rains on a Friday morning and today was no exception.
My investment in lessons is paying off, with 1 million shots attributed to me in today’s Stroke Friday where as Booker, who has shunned professional help had 1 million and 1 shots.
We actually tied and had a putt-off on the 9th, I sunk a 35ft down hiller to send Booker limping off to the locker rooms mumbling about coding errors and HTML scripts.
I now have $10 to spend on Andy Hill’s birthday present and am looking forward to his Vicars & Tarts 40th party tonight.
Dom
PS. Magenta – Research indicates this is a tough course where to be a contender you will need to draw down on every handicap shot available. If you have any aspirations of winning the next tour now is the time to get out and play some golf…
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Report: Friday 25/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
The first week of inflationary driven raised stakes was clearly enough to cause those cash conscious PGA members to stay in bed. Pauley was notably absent and is still trying to negotiate with his missus for the extra $5 pocket money which he hands over most weeks. Andy’s extended absence is now looking particularly suspicious of handicap protection with the tour only 2 months and his noted desire to auction himself on Ebay with a cap below 20. Big Al was crook so it was left to Booker and Wellsy the seasoned campaigners to battle it out.
Michelle Wie was back and the sight of Korean skirt raised the early tempo with a couple of pars for the Chairman. Dom was soon back in contention as 2 botty wipes from Booker pegged back early good work but inexplicably Dom started missing his bread and butter putts. Another par on the 9th was enough to win the cash, but it’s not about the money – that just pays for the golf balls I lost.
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Report: Friday 18/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
A blustery morning didn’t put the big Scotsman off and with grey skies he seemed quite at home. Big Al played attacking golf on the opening holes and scored some handy early points. Then the wheels came off and Big Al made his weekly contribution to the bush. Playing some nice long irons and in this form it won’t be long till the big man is challenging for the weekly cash. Nothing much occurred after this, except a motion has been tabled to increase the weekly stake to $10. All those in favour say aye…….
See you Saturday for the bi-annual AGM, beers, banter, tour updates etc.
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Report: Friday 11/01/2008
Written by: Dominic Wells
Pauley looked a bit flustered this morning and was covered in talcum powder (something to do with a dirty weekends and spending the night trying to squeeze his considerable frame into a size 8 latex nurses outfit).
Obviously Booker was there and Big Al wondered up with minutes to spare.
A benign start was followed by some intriguing events; I surged with four successive pars (not that surprising) but it was Al’s reaction that raised a few eyebrows; with consistency in mind he wiped six holes in a row! With the year of golf a distant memory the tactic seemed to be only to play shots from the tee – once both attempted shots were confirmed ‘out of bounds’ the Big Man was free to wonder up the fairway to the next tee and repeat the process…Apparently 2008 is the year of running!?
While this was going on Chrissy was bemoaning the physical effects of having to work for living and spazed a fair few, while nurse Paul (I have a mental picture of a heterosexual version of the ‘Only Gay in the Village’) was cruising along nicely.
The wash up was that I won with a cap buster, Pauley was a shot behind with a cap buster, booker was inconspicuous and Big Al is still out there…
FOR SALE
1 x set of Callaway Xps Irons, one careful owner (hardly used) – open to sensible offers but would consider swapping for pair of Nike Pump runners (size 15’s).
Dom
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Report: Friday 04/01/2008
Written by: Chris Booker
A meager turnout for the opening PGA event of 2008 as only Paul and Chris rocked up on the 10th. The opening hole of stroke Friday proved costly to the eventual scores but it was Paul who found his early round rhythm and took out a significant lead. However the window was thrown open by a lost ball down 12th and Chris responded with a tidy par and kept the pressure on as Paul lost another up the 14th.
The 16th proved tricky and the doors were level after Paul got up and down from the difficult 17th high-side bunker. The obliging greenkeepers drove over to Paul’s assistance on the 18th, cutting down an interfering bush but his chip was short and the chairman didn’t need another opportunity to grab the notes to start the year.
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Report: Saturday 29/12/2007
Written by: Alan Bennett
Five turned up for the last hit of 2007, which we all agreed was a bit of a piss poor effort.
The morning started with Chris delivering an emotional Year in Review speech outside the pro-shop that had everyone hugging each other and most of us choking back the tears. He apologised for not yet arranging an end of year Bi-AGM and admitted that if he had not sorted something out by the end of January then it would not be unreasonable if he was ousted from power and given a ten point penalty on the next tour. This was received with a hoorah from the 'crowd' and we picked up our sticks in a happier mood and headed down to the first tee.
The short version of the report is that I won. In retrospect I think the others didn’t want to do the report whilst on holiday and thought that parting with five dollars and getting me to write it was a good deal.
Thanks for the rounds of golf and laughs in 07.
Happy New Year to all.
Al
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Report: Friday 21/12/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The PGA ranks were swelled by the last minute presence of Richard (RB) whose appearance swelled numbers to 5 and extra funds in the cash pot.
Paul and Chris hit off first in the blinding Wakehurst morning sunshine. Paul found ominous trouble at the base of a tree next to the first green , but it was Wellsy and RB in a threesome with Andy who was making the early charge, with Ronnie bagging an impressive 4 points on the 1st!
Those who have been playing recently will have a noticed an interesting scoring tactic that Dom has adopted. The current PGA champ has patented the “par-wipe” and bye-heck did he get his monies worth out of this combo today, using it an astonishing 4 times!
Fortunately the NTP was on the 5th allowing Dom to use the “Par-wipe combo” to drop one a couple of meters from the pin, but he missed the birdie opportunity and a window was thrown wide open.
Andy sunk a notable Birdie on the 7th – well played. He followed it with a “botty” and then par finish. He’s been playing with Dom too often.
Up front, the lead group reacted to the challenge & par claims, with Paul hitting some tidy irons but it was 22 points that won the day.
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Report: Friday 14/12/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
We waited on the 1st for half an hour for Big Al and Martyn to turn up as promised, letting groups through and practicing our putting – but they didn’t bother to show up, or even send us a text to say they weren’t coming…!!
Not much really happened, Booker announced he has accepted a job as Sub Branch Manager at Lloyds Bank in Nuneaton and was going back to England in the New Year. Pauly announced he has got a role as the gay bloke in the musical Billy Elliot and intends to model his future career on Michael Flatley. I announced that those two losers are cr@p at golf and would most likely be handing their (Paul’s wife’s) cash to me before the morning was out. This they did before bumbling off to their respective ‘careers’.
Crissy is planning a leaving do in the New Year which we could combine with the bisexual AGM – all those in favor say I.
Dom
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Report: Friday 07/12/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
It was a foggy morning at Wakehurst. The car park was unusually full and we soon realised that it was the annual National Rifle Association Golf Day. They were planning a 7am shotgun start (there were a lot of casualties…) so Chris and I headed to Balgowlah Golf Club for some stroke play.
Now the thing with Balgowlah is that it makes hackers look like fairly respectable golfers. And any PGAer with half a brain would be sandbagging their round to make sure they didn’t do irreparable damage to their handicap. Chris is a PGAer with half a brain: he started strong and after 6 holes was looking like a contender. Then, in an almost convincing way, the wheels came off. Duffed bunker shots and quadruple bogeys followed – by the end of the round there was no chance of any handicap damage.
Bonehead here got carried away with the situation and was shooting pars and birdies like he was playing on a proper course. Even showing off by hitting the flag on the 6th from 100m out. In hind-sight the $10 winnings and the 5-under cap round might not have been the best strategy.
Andrew
(BIL International Champion 2007)
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Report: Friday 30/11/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
There was a time when getting 2 points was a good start to your round – not any more! There was a time when an opening par raised eyebrows with your playing partners – not any more. When 16 points meant you were in with a chance and 18 points almost guaranteed the cash – not anymore!
Now is the time when not one but two PGA members stamp down their authority and game plans with birdies on the 1st, Paul sublimely chipping in from the left fringe and D Wells sinking a 3 metre right-to-left curler putt.
Andy & I took our measly opening pars and walked down to the 2nd wondering what we had to do?
The remaining holes followed a similar theme. Wait till the greenkeepers are out of reach then spank it. Then watch and wait for Wells to go a bit bigger and longer than everyone else. He was firing them in at the pin all morning but a couple of messy botty wipes ultimately proved costly.
Andy sporting his new South African front row facial hair threw down the challenge on the 9th and came up smiling tying the round on 21 points and taking the game to a putt-off. On the 2nd putt-off hole Andy came up a bit too short and offered me the opportunity to win 15 bucks. A great morning of tightly contested golf.
For the record there were 14 - 3 pointers scored this morning, with 2 birdies and 4 pars.
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Report: Friday 16/11/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Sometimes when I play with myself, like this morning, I imagine Michelle Wie is there too. And she was stroking it beautifully today, while I was putting it in places that really surprised her. By the third hole we were starting to get into a rhythm which set us up for the rest of the round. Her ball control was amazing. She came first (and second) but I invoked the NFB rule and took the wedge.
Oh, Laura Davies was there too, which is great because she kept the flies off us.
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Report: Friday 02/11/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
On a damp muggy morning, a guest appearance from the much improved Wendell, swelled the ranks to 4 on stroke Friday, putting $30 up for grabs.
With it being the 1st outing since the last tour, the conversation was already about the upcoming tour. How much would the Calcutta be worth this time around?
Back to this mornings golf and everyone started off steady. I got off to an early lead, but it was very close with all 4 in contention. Chris spent half an hour in a bunker on the 2nd, taking 4 shots to get out, but still managed a 7. Dom parred the 3rd and 4th to draw level, Wendell took NTP on the 5th, then Chris parred the 6th and 7th to put himself back in the running with his usual strong finish. An 8 on the 8th for me made it very interesting going into the last, with Chris just having the edge over the rest of us, leading by a single shot. Up stepped Dom, who smashed his driver down the Tiger line to pile the pressure on. Chris found the trees and then OOB to put an end to any hope he had. I carded a 5 and Dom had a par putt to take the winnings, but he just missed. With a 6 inch putt required to level the score and a chance to add to his tour winnings, he spazzed it big time giving me the sausage.
Whether through embarrassment at missing a 6 inch putt or the unwillingness to break a $100 from his tour winnings, he was seen making a hasty departure from the car park without paying! With the latest reports of him packing his bags and heading for the airport, immigration officials have been placed on high alert.
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Report: Friday 19/10/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
On arrival at the Wake, the car park was looking full as the fair weather golfers were dusting off their clubs. Finally, the staff are starting to recognise Chris Booker as the upstanding member he is and the 1st tee was left clear for us.
On the eve of the Tour, it was no great surprise that thoughts and conversation were all about the weekend ahead. There was lots of talk about the Calcutta and who the smart money was on. With a combined 10 pars between todays players, could it be one of us? All four of us finishing the 9th strongly with a par!
ANDY, who felt the pressure of being the favourite on the last tour, scored 11 points to keep the heat off, but was this just tactical?
DOM chipped in with 14 points, but spent most of the round experimenting with technique. However, with 3 pars carded looks dangerous!
CHRIS, what more can be said about this mans golf, who always saves his best for the Spring Tour, winning all previous! After a blow out on the 1st, he steadily improved scoring 9 points on the last 3 holes for a total of 19 points. Who would bet against him in this form!
ME, I hardly put a foot (or club) wrong today to score a very satisfying 21 points and win N.T.P. But, have I peaked too early?
So, what about the rest of you who've been keeping your golf under wraps?
ADAM, El Bandito, who has a lot to prove after his disappointing show at the Freeman Cup.
NEIL, can he eventually deliver on the big occasion and finally win the prize he so desparately wants!
BILL, can he go one better than the Freeman Cup and get his name on this trophy again?
RONNIE, who has made a big improvement in his game, but can he live with the lower handicap?
MARC, another who has made a big improvement to his game, will the leasons pay off?
BIG AL, fresh from holiday and the land that invented the game of Golf! Has some of the magic rubbed off onto his newly crested flag of Scotland clubs?
And finally to,
JEFF, who has delighted us with some great golf recently. Can he maintain this standard and finish off the year on a high and take a clean sweep of the honours?
Get your wallets out and SHOW ME THE MONEY.................
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Report: Friday 28/09/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Paul left it late, teeing off with old 2 ladies, they thought he was a nice boy, before running down the first to catch the lads on the first green. He should play like this more often as he duly parred the hole.
Irons showed the way off the 3rd, the only driver pulled out, found the water hazard with Andy and Martyn using the laying up in a gay-way technique to pick up regulation 2 points.
The NTP 5th raised the bar, 4 shots on the green, must be a new PGA record. Martyn called for the measuring stick but Andy gleeful took the weekly prize. With the temperature steadily climbing a red bellied black snake slithered across our paths, Andy took off in pursuit, typical Afrikaner! A kwik Doors tally at the 9th showed everyone in with a chance – the rest is history.
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Report: Friday 14/09/2007
Written by: Martyn Lomax
The training wheels were off. Back to a real course.
The cap busting rounds seen at the Royal were a thing of the past. In fact, between us we only scored just slightly more than Ronnie did on his own last week. 18 botty wipes between us. Time for a visit to Mr.Saunders?
Without the pressure of needing to protect my cap for the tour I played consistently, and with most people scoring in the high single figures it was enough to take the sausage.
It has been a long time since we've had a good PGA quote. Bill announced he'd be "laying up in a gay way" as we stood at the 3rd tee. It obviously works though as he walked away with a boags from the hardest hole on the course.
Five weeks til the tour. Dave's number is 02 99137991.
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Report: Sunday 09/09/2007
Written by: Richard (Ronnie) Bettles
With world leaders and business men descending on Sydney “OPEC”, no sorry John, APEC gave us a deserved Friday off. One could either protest, stay in bed or join up with another group of Men for a Friday hack. There were no motorcades, snipers, lockdowns or 12 ft walls. However if you were game enough to get on the roads early enough, you could experience the closest thing to a “Green light route” all the way to Royal Chatswooo.
7 such Men chose the crack of sparras option and arrived at the Spiritual home of the PGA, The Royal. It was just like old times with Wendal and myself making retro appearances joining regulars and semi regulars Chris, Bill, D, Andy and Big Al. I have to say at this point, so inexperienced am I that writing up the Doors and I was hardly likely to be doing so, that I made no attempt to remember what happened on each hole. Let’s face it, Doors writing is something I’ve not had to worry about in 5 years of PGA gatherings……………..well that all changed today! Here goes
Tenners in for Stableford Friday - D, Bill, Andy and Wendal teed off into the mist (some things don’t change). Dom and Bill got some early acquaintance with the second fairway, god knows where Andy went and only Wendal stuck it up the middle. Was this a sign of things to come?
Big al, Chris and myself got going. I ended up flat blading out of the bushes leading to a fashionable wipe. CB and Alan followed suit. The second wasn’t much better: RB 8 for 1, CB 7 for 2 however Al made an early claim with 5 for 4. So 1 point for me after 2 holes? Nothing unusual there. Then the clouds parted, Messiah shone a light and bingo, points city. I couldn’t miss a thing. The sausage was mine. 19 points out, 27 in. Total 46. The interesting thing was, unknown to our threesome; Wendal had been pulling out a similarly remarkable effort and pulled in a close second with 41 points. Counting back there was only 1 point in it up until the 15th! It must have been going through his head that the day was going to be his??
We all raised a Tooheys New to John, George, Vlad and team thanking them for APEC day. Can we have APEC every year please?
RB 46
MC 41
DW 36
AB 36
BF 34
AH 33
CB 31
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Report: Friday 31/08/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
Only once since the beginning of May has anyone other than Chris or Dom taken the sausage. That was when Andy decided to play with himself to get his hands on his own sausage. As neither of them were present today, it was left between Bill and myself to scrap it out.
On a windswept morning with full daylight, we made our way to the 1st. With a couple of pars each and no Sunday morning drivers to slow us down, we made good time. The first four holes were mine to open up a lead, then Bill took the next four to sit in front by 1, going to the 9th. With Bill shooting his load O.O.B. for a wipe, an easy 2 putt for 2 points was enough for me to get my hands on the sausage.
With only 7 weeks to the Tour, it's time to fine tune those skills.
Bring it on!
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Report: Friday 24/08/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
A couple of mongs waddling around Wakey in the rain.
If ever you wanted free money today was the day to drag yourself out of bed.
After four wipes and the normally buoyant Booker was down trodden and defeated, so I threw him a lifeline and offered up double or quits on the ninth. Taking the bait, the novice gambler found himself quite excited after halving the hole, only to be kicked in the nuts by losing the $10 putt-off.
I AM THE KING
D
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Report: Friday 10/08/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
No doubt about it fellas, spring is in the air. The old course is in great condition, which is more than can be said for some of us, and the fair weather punters are coming out in droves, pushing the PGA off their regular first tee-off. Still it’s nice being able to see the fairway and the boys took full advantage with 3 excellent opening drives down the 10th. Spaz golf followed and a quick scramble on the green for max 1pt. Dom left his A grade game at home, perhaps saving it for the next tour, but after finally scoring 2 points on the 16th declared himself BACK and wanted double or quits!! Paul having realised that the chairman was steaming away with the game took the bait from Wellsy and promptly flocked him over the last 2 holes. Leaving Dom to hand over the cash, a quick game of “I’ve lost my wallet” followed by much rummaging – he only had a Nifty so I took that too!
IT - is 5 stableford points a new PGA record?
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Report: Friday 03/08/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
It never rains on Friday mornings. Well it did today but it didn’t put off the hardcore PGA’ers whose numbers were boosted today by big Alan who made a much overdue return to the tour. Proudly waggling around his flash new Callaway Irons, with Scottish flag emblazoned on the head, these clubs looked the dogs nuts! Unfortunately the early morning darkness did little to bolster big Al’s confidence, but the clubs did look good never the less.
Martyn Longmax was in rip roaring form and his aggressive birdie at the 12th will be one of those holes that goes down in folklore. Two monster irons positioned him off the green and with a tricky lie & the right-hand bunker to negotiate. No problem to our IT specialist, who floats a beauty over the hazards and rolls it up and in with the pin in-situ. He was pumping!
The rest of gave polite applause and began to panic as Martyn already appeared to have the game in the bag. Paul stepped up on the 13th and took the weekly NTP, showing glimpses of the form that won him 3rd prize at the recent Classic. Still he was counting on the Chairman gunning for glory as 2 boags, followed by 2 pars put me back in contention and some steady golf on the way home put the $30 sausage in my wallet.
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Report: Friday 27/07/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Predictions for the PGA Classic….
The lid will fall off the Freeman cup
Ronnie will have an on-course drama
Some people won’t turn up
Chris will make inappropriate snorting comments
No one will play to their cap
We will be late for dinner
No one will pull
We’ll have a great day out
I will win…
…just like this morning, securing a two hole putt-off against Chavboy Eastern. Booker was out on the course but conspicuous by his absence on the score sheet.
BRING IT ON!!!!!!
D.
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Report: Friday 20/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Paul started off like Sergio Garcia, a man with a tournament to win. However by his 2nd shot the golf had reverted to normal and we all botty wiped the 10th. Obviously the course was playing tough, with fast greens, cross winds, knee high rough and difficult pin placements. The bunkers were steep and the crowds lining the fairways added to the difficulty of shot selection. Martyn made a charge at the famous 17th, using his awesome longmax length to drive centre fairway, picked the right corner for his approach and nailed the putt for 3 points. A quick tally up showed Martyn now held an enviable lead going up the 18th and with 2 handicap shots. This was immediately thrown away as he hooked OOB and then found the right trees from his 2nd tee shot. Paul saw an opening and played long down the centre before laying up on the path and rolling back to a tight lie. Paul & I both had the opportunity to take Martyn for a putt off but a lip-out saw Paul unluckily drop out contention.
Just like The Open, it’s all about handling pressure in the PGA putt off and Martyn was looking good. But 3 holes later I got lucky and stole a win and $10 prize.
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Report: Friday 13/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Wellsy caused quite a fright this morning, turning up in his bed wear and then claiming to the attendant hardcore PGA players that it wasn’t cold and that his lack of long sleeves, golf cart and Titleist balls was in the game plan! With a quick fire par on the first his new winter preparation looked to have out flanked the multi-layered, beanie clad foursome. However his now aging body repaidly began to show signs off wear and tear. Soon the sore back cry went out, whilst Andy sniggered that if he wore a jacket and turned up with golf shoes rather than slippers he might stand a chance. Martyn (NTP) kept quiet as his balls were so cold that he kept finding the bushes.
As the sun eventually began to warm our souls, I went on the attack and bagged a couple more pars to put the boys under pressure. My R5 got slagged off but was performing well above par. With the game already lost, Dom (4 pars) and Andy went on a last ditch facing saving attack, taking on the trees and bunkers with impressive drives. Too late boys, with the game in the bag I took my foot off the pedal, having an unfortunate botty wipe on the 9th but picked up 15 notes and a handicap reduction.
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Report: Friday 06/07/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
With the promise of Spring and the Classic fast approaching, I was hopeful of a big attendance. Alas Martyn played the "my woman's having a baby" card and Wellsy couldn't afford the $10 stake for the stroke event. Andy was backing up from his impressive win the previous week and Paul has returned to the tour.
Off the 10th and the golf is poor, turning tragic by the 11th until I find a nice new Callaway HX Tour ball under a bush. I quickly proceed to send my old ball into OOB, which seemed to appease the golfing gods and allowed my game to dramatically improve. This new ball guided its way around the next 6 holes like a puppet on a string, collecting pars and bogeys, whilst Andy and Paul competed for the day's highest score. When AH offered & 8, but when Paul took a 9 on the par3 16th he didn't expect Andy to go one better with double figures on the 17th!
$20 bucks win - nice.
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Report: Friday 29/06/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Why I like playing alone:
1. You know you are going to win, and you do!
2. Everyone in the group laughs at your jokes
3. You can report your score as 15, but it might have been 8 or 24
4. No-one knows for sure if you really played or if you are just making it all up
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Report: Friday 22/06/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Deepest winter. Cold car park, water sodden fairways and only 2 Poms. Dom dressed in his Dad's shell-suit and Chris wearing 3 jumpers, Beanie and shorts! As ever Dom was talking of a wager but having heard about his financial woes I decided $2 a hole match play was the game.
It was obvious that the recent rain enforced lay-off had given Dom the jips, as I lost count of the number of Pro-V1's that headed right and OOB from the tees. Therefore with a 2 shot advantage before handicaps I quickly proceeded to close the game out, being 3 up with 2 and took the heckling for playing too aggresively on the 7th (to win the match) on the chin.
In the spirit of mateship I slacken off the punishment up the final holes allowing Dom to put some respectability into the result before he tried doing a runner with my 2 bucks.
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Report: Friday 25/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
18 large up for grabs in the World Masters Match Play Championship final round between me and Paul. The big man’s birdie on the 5th wasn’t enough to prevent me winning 2up. Nice quick round in sublime conditions, they are growing the rough and the course is at its best.
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Report: Friday 11/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
With most of the PGA young guns out “shagging” it was down to me Chris and Paul to set the Wake alight…the boys may as well have rubbed sticks together and were never really in the hunt, after my three pars in a row they were physically and emotionally ruined.
No putt-offs this week, I putted out the 9th six shots clear of the stick rubbers with 18 points. So off we went, Pauly had to buy some cushions (yeh, I know), Chris off to finish up another productive 22 hour week at Verizon and I’m off to invest my winnings in half an hour with the swing doctor.
The Freeman Cup is just around the corner and I am planning to make it two in a row..may not even bother gluing it back together at this rate!
Cheers benders
Dom
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Report: Friday 04/05/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Sorry, bit rushed for some gay Bee Gees love poem…I tell it like it is Ladyboys.
Billy Boy New Shirt My Wife Has Left Me And Run Off To Majorca turned up and after one good shot on the first, played like someone who only plays when he’s allowed to.
Ronnie, where was Ronnie?..who needs him when you’ve got Chris to get all punchy with the greenkeepers. “Do you realise I am a provisional member at this club” had a bit of a hollow ring to it and didn’t quite have the Greeny shaking in his Blundstones. Still, me and Pauly got a laugh out of it.
Andy combined his golf with training for his appearance on The Biggest Loser by running the length of most fairways after taking his tee shot. He kept losing balls that be blames on a lone Chonk, personaly I blame the Crows.
What a finish, Booker two shots up, putting for glory and a cap busting round but…wait a minute he’s hit the ball from the wrong marker..
“no I didn’t”
“Yes you did”
“Two shot penalty!” Shouts Martyn (laughing)
Putt off commences - obviously I win and significantly increase my wealth.
Well done chaps, bad luck Chris…I’m off to write a poem…
Dom
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Report: Friday 27/04/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
(apologies to Abba)
Half past five
and its dark in the car park
Stars shining bright
in the dark night
as the PGAers start to arrive
Headlights glow
its Dom in his Volvo
like a granny from St. Ives
And it makes me so happy
to see there's at least five
Not another soul out there
no one to hear us swear
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this just isn't done
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this is plain dumb
Friday hackers
(Paul and Martyn in tow)
with a fortune to win
Its so different from
the normal game I'm in
Tired of losing
I start to swing
and I keep it tight
But there a challenge from Chris
who's out of sight
Not another soul out there
no one to hear us swear
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this isn't done
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
A putt on a play-off
Won't someone explain to Chris
That this is plain dumb
[Msg to Bone and Goose,
Bangladesh!!]
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Report: Friday 20/04/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
Bookeralis & I mustered on the 1st and laid skin on a match play /stableford show-down.
$2 a hole extravaganza – after halving the first, Booker starts prattling on about the Murray River, lemon tress and his new wardrobe, this was my cue to smash him into the ground and leave him wondering if his new 27 AGU handicap is a bit on the harsh side!
I walked off cash rich with 19 points after suspiciously 4 putting the ninth, Booker reckoned there were some positives to his meagre 12 point round but couldn’t expand with specific examples.
One of the most beautiful mornings at the Wake, as the sun broke through the mist we were the only ones out there – if you’re not there, you’re missing out.
Dom
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Report: Friday 30/03/2007
Written by: Dominic Wells
All a bit Woolly jumper and hot chocolates this morning, enjoyed the sunrise over the Pacific but lost the karma when Kim Jong Il and Megawati Sukarnoputri pushed in front of us and started World War III. After a bit diplomatic posturing and laying down some tough sanctions we focused on our own issues.
I found the groove and pumped three pars and a bird, Martin consistently set himself up for the 4 putt master class, Pauly battled conflicts of mind, unsure whether to take today’s nap in the morning or afternoon and Chris spent two hours taking IT helpdesk calls form his sister in law – 2 shot penalty for knowing about computers, 2 shot penalty for taking calls on the course and a life ban for enjoying his golf even when he is playing shit.
I’m forty, tearing up the cap and chowing down on free pizza.
Dom
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Report: Friday 23/03/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
A close fought battle between Paul and Chris with both players having the opportunity to take the cash. A triple out of the green side bunker on the 8th by Chris set Paul up to level the game. Putting from 2m he lipped out on a potential 3pointer which enabled Chris to play the 9th with a 1 shot advantage.
From there it was never in doubt. A huge drive followed by a caressed 9iron onto the fringe set up a regulation 2 pointer. Paul tickled the pin coming in from the left then right but it wouldn't drop and the game was gone.
Clocks go back this weekend so hopefully numbers will be back up for the next few months as we commence play by 6am.
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Report: Friday 16/03/2007
Written by: Paul Easten
Quality not quantity was the order of the day with only 2 players showing up this morning. If somebody with quality had shown up, they could of taken the booty! As it was, Chris and myself enjoyed a good game and showed some glimpses of good golf.
As a new member of Wakehurst, Chris opted for the back 9. With a gallery of onlookers putting the pressure on, we both planted 3 irons down the middle. I opened with a par, then had a couple of dodgy holes, whilst Chris played his usual steady golf. NTP on the 13th was hardly threatened and we both srambled away with 2 points. Another par for 4 points at the 14th brought me level, where we stayed until the 17th. Chris had a scratch (I'm informed he has cream for it now!) and I scrambled a point to edge in front by 1 going to the 18th. With 2 good tee shots and my approach just falling short of the green, Chris was feeling the pressure and pushed his shot towards the 17th tee box. He had another scratch (give the cream time to work boys!) and I 3 putted for a single point and the booty of a massive $5.
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Report: Friday 02/03/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
It was a big morning for the aspirant PGA members with the tour only 1 week away and today’s event the last opportunity to settle the ‘caps before the tour. A few comments regarding sandbagging and we were off on a stroke morning. Andy found the left bushes, Paul the right whilst Dom & I choose the straighter path down the 1st.
Dom accelerated into form on the 2nd splashing out off the greenside bunker to nail a handy par. Andy opened up his swing on the 3rd with his No.2 Hybrid, which is giving him colossal distance off the tees. Nailed his wedge over the water and duly sunk his 2nd putt for par and followed this up with another par on the 4th and the NTP!
Dom was applying pressure and showing silverware winning form with 3 pars over 4 holes including a great par save on the 5th and Paul was playing steady with his irons.
With glory within reach the 8th shook up the field, I scored a Bogie whilst Andy and Paul shared double figures and suddenly it was all to play for up the 9th. Big D drove straight up fairway and was joined by CB, whilst Andy drew a shot into the practice range. Up on the green in regulation and 2 putt for par, I pipped Dom by 1 stroke with Andy 1 stroke further back.
A mighty close game, with 10 pars, that leaves 3 contenders going on tour with caps of 21.4!
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Report: Friday 23/02/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Seven entrants to the Spazz and Mong regional finals assembled in the dark on the tenth tee at Wakehurst this morning. The only light on offer was the glow from my brand new Nike shoes, which cast an eerie and ominous light on the surrounding trees. Dom, Bill, Al (the Pimp) and I teed of first. Bill got an early start on his attempt to lose more Pro-V1’s than any other PGAer ever. And he did. By the end of the round he had lost count of how many of them he’d splatted into the bush, but final tally is about 2.7kg of the dear little buggers. Dom, not to be outdone by Bill’s record attempt, embarked on his own record attempt of not scoring any points for the whole round. Although he didn’t quite make it he did manage the first 6 holes – a new PB! This was accompanied by much equipment abuse, which nearly resulted in Al becoming the very first PGA casualty. Al, who won last week, played rubbish. I, on the other hand, was playing OK until Dom suggested a mini tournament on the last three holes and my game went to pieces. Bill, on the other hand, was overcome with the thought of winning $5 and blitzed the three holes, scoring nine of his 11 points for the round.
Unbelievably Chris, Paul and Wendell out-spazzed our group. Wendell, who has been taking lessons, show signs of brilliance with his final approach shots. Paul didn’t. Chris scraped together 12 points, which, sadly, was enough to get into a putt-off with me. He lost, the goose.
So, with the tour just TWO weeks away, and a score of 12 taking the sausage from a field of 7 today, you really have to think that anyone can win the trophy this Autumn.
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Report: Friday 16/02/2007
Written by: Alan Bennett
Only five turned up for the alternative venue at Castle Cove. We stood on the first tee waiting for a couple of spazzers in front of us who didn’t want to hit off until the mist cleared. After ten minutes the mist had either cleared sufficiently or they were intimidated with the stares from Dom who was by now standing on the tee with a facial expression that flickered from penetrating glare to a look of disbelief. Both their tee shots went 50 metres and into the trees. It was going to be a slow morning.
Before we had picked groups, and regardless of the fact that I had arrived last, I stepped up to the tee first. I hope that this was taken as a sign that I meant business but was more likely interpreted as thoughtless arrogance. Bill and Paul joined me, with Dom and Chris behind.
We all played some good golf. Some nice tee shots, some not so nice, and the greens were in superb condition.
The highlight of the morning was on the tee of the (par 4) third hole. A nice wide fairway that ran parallel with the road but the 30m high trees along the course boundary provided an appropriate barrier. Bill stepped up to the tee with his driver and hit a powerful shot with nice distance, good height and unfortunately a severe slice that took his ball clear over the trees landing somewhere out of site on the road. Bill’s apology to the less than hot, plump power walking female who came down the road a few minutes later was answered with “I think you need some more practice before you are allowed back out in public!”
Only three weeks until golf, beer, banter, speeches, and bare nubile flesh.
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Report: Friday 09/02/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The chairman was back to rally the troops on a dark and wet Friday morning. As Dom, Joff and Andy disappeared into the morning gloom, I was wondering about Andy's ambitious opening tee shot which sailed into the darkness over the trees but could have been headed anywhere... Andy duly reappears back at the 1st tee just as a shout from the boys declares his ball found and this sets him up for the first of 3 pars through the opening 4 holes! Andy is putting down a marker for the tour!
When Andy finished his morning hot streak, Dom was just kicking into gear, with 3 pars and an impressive birdie on the 7th. Dom breaks through the 18 handicap barrier for the first time, posting 20 points and is another Friday regular who will be contending strongly for PGA tour honours. No doubt the Fossil will be amongst the Calcutta favourites!
Paul took NTP honours on the 5th and has rediscovered his long iron draw swing. Whilst Martyn continued to show some great form with his LongMax irons.
Still I was delighted to be back on the course after a 2 week absence and was determined to keep myself in contention. 3 pars in 4 holes took my points tally out to 18 with 2 holes still remaining, which means I've dropped another stroke from my handicap and picked up the $25 prize - Yippeeeee!
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Report: Monday 05/02/2007
Written by: Joff Pearce
At 05:50 on stroke play Friday the car park was chockers. It promised to be a record high turnout for the PGA in 2007. As it turned out it was a record low attendance with only Paul Eastern and Joff Pearce making it on to the tee, with possibly the highest stoke play winning score of the PGA. The round started OK for Paul and a traditional lost ball off the tee for Joff. There was a lot of golf in the day with a 10 for Paul on the 12th and a 10 for Joff on the 17th giving the scorer trouble with the addition on the 17th. Neither payer troubled the NTP hole with another lost ball for Joff and a bunker shot from Paul. With Joff feeling the pressure of a potential win at the 18th, Paul put his tee shot over the access road to the left, Joff also went left and ended up on the road. Paul’s provisional wasn’t much better also ending up on the road. However persistence by Joff (the only ever-present player of 2007) with steady improvement over January saw him win stroke play Friday by 3 shots. The final scores Paul 57 net 46, Joff 61 net 43.
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Report: Thursday 25/01/2007
Written by: Andrew Hill
Two members and a wannabe arrived to a dark, misty and humid Wakehurst car park. There was so much moisture in the air that at one stage 3 fish swam past.
After paying our green fees we proceeded to the 10th tee. The early morning light was battling to penetrate the thick mist and an eerie quiet hung over the deserted course. As we teed up the first ball a shout rang out from the bushes, “Scramble! Scramble! Scramble!”, and suddenly 14 groundsmen on a variety of mechanical mowers appeared miraculously from the undergrowth and proceeded to swarm all over the tenth hole… And 25 minutes later we were off.
Joff blatted his first two tee shots into the bush. Martyn joined him, the fool. With that out of their systems things settled down to a fairly decent standard of golf. A total of 7 pars were scored by the group, and Martyn and I notched up seven of those between us. Joff lost at least one ball on every hole but still scored well, notching up 10 points. Having played every week since the New Year he is showing obvious signs of improvement – one to watch for the future.
Martyn was hitting the long irons beautifully and won nearest the pin again this week. Three pars put him in contention for the sausage, but in a long-awaited return to the podium I managed to seal my first win in a very long time. I nearly cried.
A special hello to one of our (many) international readers of Pommygolf.com: Bruce, good luck for the triathlon this weekend. 6!
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Report: Friday 19/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
An early start and finished by 8am. Six starters with Joff again appearing and now being eligible for membership subject to the usual speeches etc.
The golf was back to the usual PGA standard this week with no birdies and no handicap busting performances. After Dom's recent 43 point competition round, he was out to give the course a good thrashing but Wakehurst struck back as it often does.
Paul looked good finishing the 9th with a par and I scored a par on the 8th which I have rarely acheived. Andy, Martyn and Joff all attacked the 9th green but 2 unlucky bounces allowed the bootinee to slip away as the new Chairman claimed a hatrick of wins to start 2007.
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Report: Friday 12/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
Birdie Friday
The golfing gods were smiling this morning as the PGA recorded an unprecedented high with what surely must be a Friday record for us of 5 Birdies!
Martyn “Longiron” Lomax set the tone for the morning with some speed golf to score a birdie on the 1st. By the 5th he was at it again tapping in following a fabulous approach on the par3 and claiming NTP honours too.
Not being one to miss out on the action Andy Hill, was next to post a birdie. Drilling his Rescue2 to within 30m of the water hazard guarding the 7th, Andy then dropped his approach wedge onto the low side of the pin and sunk the putt. Great golf made to look easy.
I scored my 4th 3pointer of the morning on the 8th and as we trundled around to the 9th tee there was plenty of incentive to score well. A long drive up the centre of the fairway was just the ticket. Andy was first onto the green with his approach shot settling with 2m of the flag and I managed to squeeze my ball in alongside Andy’s. I was putting first and was in with a 1 putt for Birdie number 4 followed by Andy for Birdie number 5!
Dom and Joff shared the course with the greenkeepers with Dom recording 15 points over the first 7 holes before two botty wipes at the close. CB took the $20 cash with his second 3 under ‘cap round of the New Year.
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Report: Friday 05/01/2007
Written by: Chris Booker
The first Friday of the New Year saw 5 players contending for the Stroke Event. Paul tossed the balls and picked himself a threesome to play with. Joff (previous tour long drive winner) bashed his first shot of the year sideways off the 10th tee and played the rest of the hole with his knob out. Taking the Stroke event format to a new level Joff then scored an untidy 14 on the 11th, but later recovered for a par on the 13th and finished strongly.
Martyn and Paul went head to head and tied a number of holes before the longmax opened up his swing, sunk some pars and posted an impressive handicap equalling score.
Dom & I played up the rear of the threesome. Dom disappeared into the woods several times but came out smiling and tickled his ball near the hole more than once. The old fella started grumbling about how hard he is and how he likes soft balls then proceeded to shoot his load with 3 pars on 4 holes.
I managed to keep some control, found some decent length with my Driver and got my ball in the hole when it counted. A $40 win and a handicap reduction - great start for 2007.
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Report: Saturday 23/12/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Me & Pauly tearing up the fairways and peppering the greens - in our dreams, before we woke up and teed off at wakey. I traded pars with wipes, Paul traded wipes with wipes.
Still we saw a Wallaby bouncing down the 7th and got all our crap shots out of the way before next Friday's $80 bonanza!
I won.
Happy Christmas Folks.
Dom
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Report: Friday 15/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Just four members for the 4Club + Putter event. Personally I don't think that the limited clubs impacted too many shots and outcomes on holes. The game was there for the winning with Martyn picking up a 4 pointer on the 2nd and Andy impressed the greenkeepers with his long approach to the 3rd.
With the scores tied on the 9th Martyn & I had a putt-off with Bill selecting a tricky sloping putt across the practice green. In keeping with my generally putting all round I continued to miss the fricking hole but Martyn's miss handed me the sausage.
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Report: Friday 08/12/2006
Written by: Martyn Lomax
The IT sub committee met at Balgowlah this morning, planning on having a non-scoring round to discuss PGA-IT business (mostly due to lack of planning for the presentation scheduled for the Bi-AGM).
As the Wake had a comp on we were caught out by both the out going and newly appointed chairmen. Mumbles of kicking people out of the PGA for sneaky behavior were short lived as the discussion turned to $s in and swing analysis.
Bill looked like the favorite early on, with a chip in from the bunker on the 1st for a bird. He was using the course, and surroundings, well and even managed to get his ball to bounce from the oval back on to the 9th.
With my spare shot in hand on the 9th I managed to sneak ahead of the pack with a bird, and some unlucky putting from Chris and Bill sealed the win. Andrew played well, but lost the plot with a wipe on the 9th.
The IT department are still no closer to having presentation prepared, I'll wing it after a few Boag's.
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Report: Wednesday 06/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Round 2 End of Year Championships
The winner of the inaugural PGA Championships is Neil who kept his cool and utilised his commanding first round lead to take the trophy and $140 cash prize. Andy Hill showed great skill and determination to make a major 2nd round challenge but a lack of pars on the final holes eventually cost him the championship.
The field was cut from 7 to 4 as Dom Wells (injury), Bill (work) and Alan (no show) whilst Martyn came out to play the final round. The new chairman (CB) put down a challenge, but faded over the final 2 holes, whilst Paul posted a big double figure number on the 11th which effective ended his title ambitions.
Well done to every who joined in the competition and extended congratulations to Neil who is our first PGA End of Year Champion.
Position Total Handicap Adjusted
1. Neil 90 18 72
2. Andy 96 21 75
3. Chris 102 25 77
4. Paul 103 21 82
DNF - Dom
DNF - Bill
DNF - Alan
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Report: Friday 01/12/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
At the half point of the inaugural PGA End of Year Championships, the 7 members contending posted some very impressive scores.
Leading the field after 9 holes is Neil Davis, who after a late arrival has played an exceptional game to carve his way around Wakehurst. 4Pars and a Birdie speak volumes for the improvements that Neil has made to his game. Dom too was playing with steely focus, 4 Par and 4 Bogeys has underlined a determined challenge from this consistent performer.
Big Alan submitted one of his best cards of the year including an impressive finish on the 9th green. Not to be out done, Paul choose this occasion to go low, 2 strokes under 'cap. Andy tried to eliminate 2 players from the field with his approach shot onto the 9th which nearly wiped out two founder members!
The prize money has been set at $140 and consensus is that the 2nd Round will now be played on Wednesday 6th December, which suits the active socialites as Christmas festivities kick in.
Event
| Player | Handicap | Gross | Net |
|---|---|---|---|
| Neil | 18 | 41 | 32 |
| Dom | 18 | 44 | 35 |
| Paul | 22 | 46 | 35 |
| Chris | 25 | 50 | 37.5 |
| Alan | 36 | 56 | 38 |
| Andy | 22 | 50 | 39 |
| Bill | 25 | 54 | 41.5 |
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Report: Friday 24/11/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
We had 4 starters and 1 late arrival, Andy attacked the green from the 1st tee and landed it on 2nd. I don’t think we will see much of that style of play over the next couple of weeks!
Big Alan joined us on the first and showed great form scoring 8 points over the first three holes. Paul and Martyn split off from the group of 5 and scored a mixed bag. Paul scored of every hole, which is good form coming into End of Year Championships.
A par on the 4th kicked started my round, whilst Andy was showing some fine touches chipping in from the edge on the 5th and a nice long putt that he sunk on the 7th. Alan faded over the last 2 holes but was looking good value for a win today.
The $20 is handy as I lost 4 balls today – three on the 3rd! Next week EOY championships commence and we will be looking for an earlier start time for the stroke format.
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Report: Friday 17/11/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Two Mongs out this morning.
We wondered around chatting about Mr Men books and mobile phones, stopping occasionally to swing at discarded balls that we would come across in previously undiscovered out of bound areas.
Chrissy scored only one stableford point and I scored two, which means he is twice the spaz that I am.
Can more people please turn up, $5 barley covers lunch these days!
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Report: Friday 10/11/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I don’t think it’s right to laugh at Spaz’s and Mongs but I was happy to make an exception when, after 4 shots Paul still hadn’t made it to the ladies tee on the 10th. He got his knob out and confirmed he is happy to buy us a jug each in Port Stephens – Fair call.
Talking of knobs, team one, Andy, Martyn and Paul waited until the 14th to score any points and must have been pleased after finishing up with 12 points between them. Their wheelchair access ‘mobility bus’ arrived to take them home, so after me and Booker hit a few balls at them they went home to have their nappies changed.
Booker, who was wearing a going out shirt that had a remarkable resemblance to the new PGA members shirt and I played alright with a few botty wipes and a few pars, my par on the 18th was enough to secure a soft victory.
So I am $20 bucks better off, enabling me to offset the cost of my growing golf shoe obsession. (I’ve got so many pairs I had a different one on each foot this morning).
It’s sunny and I am by the pool – see ya Lezzers.
Dom
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Report: Friday 03/11/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
You can't beat a good stroke with your mates on a Friday morning!
Waiting to tee off at the 10th, we turned as Andy announced the arrival of 'BIG AL'. It was an easy mistake to make as 'BIG CHRISSY BOOKER' came into full view! Was this a sign of things to come....
With a familiar looking 5, we split into the A Grade of myself, Dom and Andy with 'BIG CHRISSY' and Bill following up the rear! With 40 bucks up for grabs, it was important to get off to a good start. Andy, still thinking of the uncanny resemblance between Al and Chris (that nobody had spotted before!) duly staked his claim by carding an 11! With Chris and Bill playing some steady golf behind, Dom decided to stake his own claim and duly carded an 11 on the 15th! Andy, believing himself to be out of the competition, put together a remarkable 8 holes (which would of netted him 21 stableford points), parring the 12th and a birdie on the 17th. As the scores were tallied up after the 17th, Andy trailed me by a solitary shot to pile the pressure on. With the tricky 18th green waiting, there was only one thing to do, chip in from off the green for par. Dom found his form with a par and Andy carded a 5 for what was almost the greatest comeback ever. A couple of dodgy holes for Chris and Bill with an uncharacteristic no pars between them, for two of the form players, left me with the pot.
Andy, very unlucky mate, but that's what stroke can do. Cheers lads
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Report: Friday 27/10/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
$35 bucks worth of players made their way to the 10th, some a little later than others. Fortunately we’d already commandeered the tee and the growing throngs of members and United Nations representatives had to sit and wait as the PGA took their rightful spot; “wherever they jolly well like”.
The 3 ball was headed up by Dom who drove a sweet left hooker into the trees, luckily bouncing out just ahead of the ladies tee. Dom and Paul didn’t follow suit and hit the fairway to charge away down the track, only to be headed off at the pass by an army of busy greenkeeping worker bees spilling out on to the course to wreck the peace.
Up steps the 4 ball, me first, driving with confidence into the water over yonder. Ronnie into the trees, whilst Chris and Martyn drilled them down the middle. The sighs of disbelief from the United Nations gallery (at least 10 players) could be heard on the 1st. “Bugger” we thought as we waddled off to find our balls.
So as not to bore the pants off any one who wasn’t there, I‘ll summise;
Chris played well but not up to his usual standard. There was some out of bounds action as well as some consistent bunker work, consistently in them anyway.
Martyn showed signs of brilliance off the tee except when Ronnie and I were loudly discussing the latest Duck dish to hit Kylie Kwongs menu which forced him to spack his drive. He did however put the UN under fire on the 17th with a low flying missile which was quite amusing. I’m still confident he could get some sort of sponsorship in the longest drive with 9 iron competition.
Ronnie found his mojo last weekend at Testicle Hill Golf course in the deep South, but unfortunately left it there. He looked the part but fell apart as shots sprayed around the place like Arnie with gatling gun.
As for me, the original Lemon was back in the bag today and had an impressive 80% success rate today, certainly contributing to the final score. My other clubs were pretty sweet and the greens at Wakey are of the highest quality at present, helping everyone’s putting.
I did hear a tale of Dom's new ebay Hi-Bore Quarter Pounder with Cheese metallic Kermit the frog green graphite driver was involved in an equipment abuse incident on the 17th tee after 'it' shanked the ball into the rough. Apparently the driver followed the ball after the shot but only achieved a distance of about 8 metres compared to the ball's 85 metres. That was Kofi’s story anyway.
Special mention goes out to Ronnie who is making a habit of forgetting his clothes. So today he borrowed mine. Although I had the last laugh as I saw him drive away this morning as I lent him a pair of jeans with a rip in the undercarriage!! Lets see how his meeting with new clients goes today when they see his old chap on their board room chairs.
So anyhoo, I won, again, and collected the sausage with 19 points, 2 weeks on the trot. Have I shot my bolt too early? Wouldn’t be the first time.
With the approaching EOY champ’s I might just play sh!t again next week for the stroke event, just to keep you guessing.
Bill
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Report: Friday 20/10/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
Fluffy animals hadn’t made it onto the course before Dom squashed one as I followed him on the Wakey Parkway. This pleased him greatly as at least he knew his ABS worked. I arrived, covered in possum/cat (whatever it used to be) blood and guts ready for battle on the unfairways.
5 brave warriors this morning, off the front, with me and Andy leading the charge.
Dom started well but shot his man juice before he closed the deal and ended up wishing he was as good as me.
Paul scored solidly all the way but nerves about this afternoons dusting of ‘the best china’ crept in and his scored slipped back.
CB had a 10m putt from off the fringe on the 9th to equal my 19 points but it missed by an inch, so for the 1st time in a while, he payed for his own golf.
Andy was all over the show despite his usually consistent value bats, early morning breast feeding still isn’t sitting well him.
I played fantastic (for me) with 3 pars and some great point saves. Testimony to not playing for a few weeks and letting the voices in my head f*ck off.
A special mention goes out to the green keeper who aside from royally pi$$ing us off by staying a few metres ahead of us all morning and delaying play somewhat, did a bloody good job of trimming the greens, in fact the whole course is looking pretty special.
They are obviously preparing for the EOY PGA Championships, like me.
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Report: Friday 13/10/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Yankee Doodle do, Brunka is back! Jeff rocks up, slots into the lead pairing and coolly hammers a Jap Bat 5 iron down the 10th.. Dom finds a wet splash down in the OOB water hazard on the 16th, Ronnie slams an iron down the centre followed by Andy and myself – game on. Fortunately the A grade pairing failed to score on the first 4 holes before their games kicked in they and came home strong with a pair of pars each.
Ronnie was playing some fine golf with long irons and fine chips around the greens. It won’t belong until we see some handicap reductions from RB. With the northerly tail wind Andy was hitting huge rescue/iron shot combinations into the greens but a couple of shots OOB cost him the $ today. Nothing special from CB, no pars and too many missed putts but no wipes either to win the twenty.
See you all next week.
[EDITOR - Note to players: Cap adjustments from the pre-tour Friday game have been reversed. Please contact IT if you have any queries on 1800 767554321000235463 ext 312]
[EDITOR - Note to Bruce: Bliksem! Een punt agter die wenner. Kan jy dit glo!?]
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Report: Friday 06/10/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Stroke Friday took its toll, with some neat golf, impressive pars and a birdie from Dom ruined by some big number scores as Wakehurst bit back.
CB riding high after the PGA tour win opened up the scoring with a par whilst Dom was an early high score casualty, following a messy landing after finding the front sand. However DW put that behind him and blasted a huge drive down fairway No.2 that bounced and rolled to leave a wedge shot into the front green position, but then decided to extract some extra value practice shots from his round by twice finding OOB right before splashing into the bunker. Whilst I was required to twice play shots using a reverse left hander style as the trees held up play.
AH and PE casually ignored our high scoring and were looking good to take a comfortable lead. PE then racked up 9 shots on the 3rd and Andy had woes off the 4th tee for double number figures. Game on! A couple of pars from CB was followed by Dom’s impressive birdie on the 7th (Ooooo Pig Soooie). AH found more trouble and double figures at the 8th and Dom decided to DQ himself after an unfortunate ricochet into OOB.
Up the 9th tee and PE drops and iron shot into the gully but recovers to make the fringe in 3, before an unkind lip out on his putt for 6. Handing CB a chance to win the game, with a ˝ metre down hill bogey putt. They’ve been missed before but not today and $30 in the bank.
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Report: Friday 29/09/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Tulip lovers
Funny how golf related retail sales increase around April & September every year, but make sure you have some sausage left for the Calcutta. As you formulate how to strategically fritter away your wives haircut money, your gas bill or your next child benefit payment think carefully and honestly about the following questions:
- Have you purchased any golf related equipment in the last month?
- Have you played to or below you cap this year?
- Do you own a laser guided, lithium powered GPS distance marker gadget thing (with handy attachment clip)?
- Have you ever won anything in your life?
- Does a par come around about as often as a glistening Bullita offered up for the taking?
- Is your name Murph?
- Did your golf shoes feature in Forest Gump?
- Did you just shoot two under your cap the day before the tour?
See you tomorrow chaps.
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Report: Friday 22/09/2006
Written by: Neil Davis
A great turn out this morning 10 members at the 1st bright eyed and bushy tales.Bill Ronnie and Dom shot of into the morning sun not to be seen again until the 8.
After hitting a 7i 60m i started to pick up my game hitting 5 fairways and 5 greens. long iron lomax was striking the ball very well and being rewarded with 2 pars.Justin played a few holes army style,LEFT,RIGHT,LEFT,right,With big Al getting of to a great start with a 4/4.
Thank to all who came today and handed me there hard earned wonga.
going down to moore park for a game any body want to join me???
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Report: Friday 15/09/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
A glorious spring morning, the Wakehurst fairways and putting greens are in fantastic condition. A small gathering saw the threesome tee-off the 1st. 3 Balls in a close huddle was signs of things to come as Paul, Martyn and Chris attacked the greens. Paul found some early bunker woes and Martyn was a little slow to post his first points of the morning. I managed to pick up 3 pointers on the 2nd and 3rd for a confidence boosting start.
Golf lesson 101 –don’t leave for club behind. Reaching into his bag to pick out his favourite wedge Martyn was horrified to realise that he had left his club on the 3rd green. Now for those who can remember the course it’s a Bl**dy long way from the 4th green back to the 3rd. Well off he ran and back he ran – 800m between shots! A tribute to his new fitness levels…
Martyn and Paul both showed great skills to produce a pair of 3 pointers on the long par5 8th. I sunk a par on 5th and scored steadily from there apart from some water action on the 7th, to drop my ‘cap and a shot reduction before the tour.
Hope to see you all out there next week.
Chris
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Report: Friday 08/09/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
The weather appeared to of scared off most of the competition with only 3 of us braving the conditions. Not even Chris' last e-mail was enough to shame those who have lacked in recent appearances to show up. Unfortunately for us, it was more Tiger Lily than Tiger Woods!
We decided to play the front 9 where things looked good for Dom as he opened with a par, Chris 4 putted for a 6 and I scratched. Dom followed this up on the 2nd tee by unleashing his new driver, alas that was the end of his round as those cheery greenkeepers got under his skin (flags were not replaced in the cup and one of them decided to follow us around with his leaf blower, chasing a solitary leaf in the gusting wind!).
Chris saw his opportunity as he pulled off a great par on the 3rd for a 4 pointer. The curse of making par and then watching your round crumble brought Chris' challenge to an end.
My round was anything but spectacular, picking up 2 points on most holes until I finally managed a par on the 8th. Scores were added up on the 9th tee, where the realisation that the boys needed a hole in one and for me to scratch for a putt off. With the pressure off, I duly sliced my tee shot into the trees. Fortunately there were no more holes to play for my game to crumble after par.
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Report: Friday 01/09/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
Well well well,
Spring has sprung and everything is gonna be alright.
I arrived a few minutes late and could sense Dom’s disgust as I whizzed passed the 10th on my way to drop the Cosby’s off at the pool. Whilst I sat there contemplating the pro’s and con’s of cheap loo roll and the image it portrays of a Golf Club with quite high membership fees, it dawned on me that I run the risk of playing in a one ball today so I finalised my deposit and scooted off to the tee box, without paying. “I’ll get that later” I thought. “If I win”.
Chrissy was waiting for me as I saw the ‘A’ Grade, consisting of Dom, Paul and Andrew trundling down the fairway to some lengthy well placed balls. Chrissy then nailed a solid iron to centre of the fairway, I gave myself a one swing warm up and spacked my ball into the trees, luckily bouncing off and back toward the ladies tees. My 2nd shot was fine but when my third found the Frenchs Forest on the left of the green I thought my luck had ran out. But no, it trickled out to the fringe and I declared to Chris, “I’m going to win this”.
Some mediocre golf followed on from there for Chrissy and I with nothing too funny or fantastic to report, Dom had calmed by the 12th and glanced the odd smile as we passed at Green/Tee zones. Andy and Paul were less serious and we mimed jokes in a way that only golfers pretend to understand when one another communicates at distance about an unknown topic that ends with a smile.
Chrissy and I both had a hard time on the hardest hole on the course (14th) but Chrissy’s lost ball gave him a snow man and began to give me an edge. I backed it up with a par on the par 5 15th and a couple of bogeys on the next 2 holes gave me sweaty palms on the 18th tee box. I hacked and slashed my way to the green, endangering the lives of the A grade who stood expecting to collect money from me, and finally ended with a 7 for total of 49 off the stick or 36 net, 1 over.
I couldn’t maintain my cool and bear hugged Paul as he handed me the cash. Dom not only didn’t want a kiss but had clearly not expected to lose so had arrived with small change which he weighed me down with. Unfortunately Andy only had a Pineapple so he disappointingly converted that to a bunch of fivers and some silver.
I then went and paid my green fees, just in case karma and luck share the same bed at night.
Like the England rugby team of 2003, I’m timing my run to the tournament. I’m playing regularly and carding some good performances. Golf involves many things, but at my level, luck is one of those things that I always play with whether I like it or not. Today, luck and I partnered for success and as they say at Moore Park Driving Range – “the more you play, the luckier you get”
Bill.
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Report: Friday 25/08/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
A small field of only 4 witnessed Andrew Hill drill his opening tee shot over the trees and just short of the greenside bunker he chipped and 2 putted for an impressive opening par. Justin opened strongly, after being away from the PGA tour over recent weeks, but Wakehurst eventually welcomed him back by hungrily devouring his balls as a little frustration set in.
The Chairman was back, playing solid golf and looking relaxed. Bill was collecting points scoring 3 points on 4 occasions. No doubt he is preparing for a charge now that the tour is only 4 weeks away! Alas he succumbed to a bit of pressure on the 9th fairway and I managed to grab the necessary 2 points to win the game and protect the ‘cap.
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Report: Friday 18/08/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Beautiful day for golf and a gaggle of six golfers presented themselves, including Neil who was making a welcome return to the tour following extended leave and Bill who was back from NZ.
But enough of them, this was about the front group of Andy, Paul and Chris. Playing sublime golf with strong iron play and some sweet putts. I raced out to 18 points and had 2 holes to play for handicap deductions. Unfortunately a careless 2nd shot on the 8th ruined that hole and a single point rescued on the 9th will keep my cap heading south.
AH was very consistent and was unlucky not to have taken the $25 purse today. Paul opened up with a par and scored well until he made a mis-calculation on the 8th and picked up too early!
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Report: Friday 11/08/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Only 3 PGA members failed to find excuses this week for not turning up and duly presented themselves at the pro shop for deliberations over which 9holes of the course to tackle. Ronnie threw in a request to play the back as he finds the front hard and Paul and I obliged – though personally I was thinking a quick round on the front was an attractive option! After throwing down the challenge we headed for the tenth tee, with banter about the coming football season, England’s new captain and the likely forthcoming England victory in the next Ashes series. All the classic sporting subjects for chums & PGA members to discuss!
No Wannabees in attendance, though I heard that Adam was suffering after effects of sampling a new Viagra product and Andrew Pennington was offering consultancy services to Hezbollah following reports of his bombing mission on the greens last week.
The Golf: Ronnie was distracted by a dog at the tee and lashed his opening shot left – gone, reload. A solitary point, scored by Paul on the 10th was an unfortunate indicator of putting troubles to follow for all. A 3 putt by myself followed by another 3 putt from inside 2metres on the 11th combined for a stunningly poor start to the round. I got my score card rolling over the next few holes picking up some 3 pointers to get myself back on track. Ronnie’s swing improved and he started hitting some monster irons into the greens and collected plenty of points. Paul kept his focus on a minimalist score and placed himself in contention for lowest stableford score. I wiped the last to ensure that my ‘cap is retained for another week but picked up the $10 bounty and another win for the annual stats.
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Report: Friday 04/08/2006
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Group 2 were waiting in the middle of the 3rd fairway with the Booker/Hill/Wells group on the green, Andy P thought he was safe to give his approach shot a go. To his, and no doubt group 1's, surprise he hit the green. No expletives were used, and it was not pinned on Paul for a change.
Bill showed little of the form we were expecting after his self back slapping email earlier in the week. He did come back though, twice in case anyone missed it the first time.
Group 1 sheltered from the rain and were preparing those crispy 10s, as requested by Dom, whilst most of group 2 decided to one hand putt on the 9th. Thanks guys.
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Report: Friday 28/07/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I was on track to bust my handicap by three shots, but with a prize pool of $0 I chose to six putt the last and preserve my self appointed ‘favourite’ tag for AHAG. Unethical? Maybe, but you can do that when your playing on your own.
Thanks to all those people who advised they couldn’t make it. Those who said they would be there but didn’t bother showing up – shame on you.
Dom
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Report: Friday 21/07/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
With Bill parachuting, Justin washing his hair and Jeff planning the Christmas party, only Paul, Chris and I showed up.
Paul spacked it up for a while, missed a few opportunities and then declared he was going to write a book called “I love Arse” or something like that.
Chris had just been discharged from the Narrabeen swing doctor and after paring the first was up for a return on his investment. He was looking good (according to Paul) but 16 shots over the two par 5’s killed what should have been a killer score.
I put 4 pars in the bag and pretty much bogeyed the rest for a cap busting 21 points. Cool I won but then questioned my tactics as I received $10 and dropped my cap to 17.
So here I am ‘working from home’, all day breakfast on the table and the British Open on the Plasma, oh I have just noticed their trophy looks a bit like the one on my mantle piece!
Cheers fruits
Dom
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Report: Friday 14/07/2006
Written by: Andrew Pennington
Apparently 'X' marks the spot, and if you follow this simply logic, there were certainly plenty of spots on one particular card today. You know who you are.
Five fearsome lads braved the wintery conditions this morning. The Andrew's set the pace finishing in plenty of time for some extended pitch and put practice while awaiting the final group of three to make there way to the finish. There were two nominations for slow play today, one to Bill, the other for the entire second group Dom, Bill & Martin.
Luckily the rain stayed away, with Bill the only one to almost get drenched when he almost toppled into a nearby pond. Lucky he didn't, Lucky ducks!
The highlight of the day was a three way play off between Dom, Martin and Andrew P. The Kiwi lad sunk in two to take the cash and his first PGA win. Go the mighty Blacks.
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Report: Friday 07/07/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Stroke event with plenty of contenders, new members and new Wannabees.
Noticeably not too many pars around the course today, just AH (2) and CB. Dom invited a new player, Jack, who gave a confident swagger at the Pro Shop and followed up with an impressive opening tee shot. Wakehurst then bit back, tested his game and emptied his pockets of another $10. AH was out the blocks early with an impressive opening par but choose to mix up his pars with some equally impressive double figure holes.
The Chairman still finds himself in a golfing slump that has extended to 18 rounds since his last tour victory. Paul Easten has found new love with his 3 iron replacing the much used and loved 5 wood – a solider performer again today.
The rear threesome looked to be playing well, but JC failed to finish and Big Al will be scratching his nuts over those double figure holes. AP was all smiles on the final green and was pleased with his all round performance today.
Still boys it was a stroke event, with big cash prizes. CB kept it solid, rattled the pin on the 13th and played to handicap. $80 bucks in the pocket added to the 2nd prize at the Classic.
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Report: Friday 30/06/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Nine enthusiastic players in attendance for the pre-dawn tee-off for our A Grade group. Adam Gladstone, no doubt regretting failing to make the cut for the Classic, joined Dom and our lefty Justin. The cards shows the Justin battled back from recent disappointing performances to firmly make his mark in the leading group. A notable Birdie from Dom, but only a single par each for the lead group.
Step up Andy Hill, What can you say about a man who scores 5 pars and breaks his handicap. Looks like Ronnie and Bill, who completed this threesome, were dazzled by Andy’s impressive iron performance.
C grade had the slight advantage of daylight on the 1st but were soon hindered by some rude play from the local greenies, who played through Alan in mid swing approach! Big Al was working his magic with the big gun Driver and can surely be only a week or two away from breaking his 2 shots per hole handicap, as he sunk a number of 3 pointers. Still I was enjoying some good fortune and great approach shots to keep the scorecard ticking over. Finding trouble off the tee on the 4th, but 16 points accumulated on the card, the 9th loomed. 2 shots to the green and a birdie putt to finish led to a putt off with iron Andy.
AH wins the toss and elects CB to go first. AH 2nd putt narrowly misses and CB strokes it home for $40, handicap deduction and some extra confidence with Camden Lakeside awaiting us tomorrow.
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Report: Friday 23/06/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
On the shortest day in the world and a morning where the Soccerwhos were squeezing their way into the World Cup knock out round (I wish Tim Cahill had connected with that scissor kick in the box) there was never going to be a big turn out at the Wake.
After watching Australia’s second goal in the pro shop, me & Big Al belatedly donned our wellies and spacked it up large. Our golf was very very bad, probably something to do with visions of the big man cumming in his own mouth popping into my head during par putts and him shivering in his shorts on the tee.
Although I was shit, Big Al was more so, enabling me to secure the $5. (prize money just isn’t what it used to be).
I was going to suggest $20 winner takes all for the Classic but at this rate I don’t back myself.
Dom
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Report: Friday 16/06/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Seen less often than Brigadoon, and almost as unbelievable, today a lucky few witnessed a Big Al win on a Friday morning.
It was a bitter, cold morning, which may have affected attendance with only three PGA’s and two Wannabes brave enough to step out. The only lad who was man enough to turn up in a pair of shorts was well at home in these conditions.
Dom and Justin went off in the first group, with Bill, Chris and I following behind. The three of us were scoring on most holes when we passed Justin on the seventh fairway, he suggested that neither Dom nor he were doing very well….. the winner was going to come from group two.
I wiped on the last two holes, which I am sure Bill and Chris thought was a sign of my game reverting back to its old hacking style, but I was just trying to make it competitive.
As I looked back on the ninth fairway and saw Booker hook his second shot into the rough then smack the ground in frustration with his club, my mouth filled with a strange warm sensation. No, I hadn’t just shot a load into my own mouth in excitement, it was far too sweet. This was the taste of victory!
Some may suggest that the win may be due to most of you being rugged up on the sofa watching The Motherland thump that mighty football nation Trinidad and Tobago, but the sound thrashing of Wellsy, by five points, gives the result all the credibility it needs.
Thanks for the money. Oh yes, and the game!
(Posted on behalf of Big Al)
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Report: Friday 09/06/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Winter Golf - we love it. Nine players on the wettest, darkest Friday of the year. 3 Groups with B grade numbers bolstered by Mr Gladstone who joined Neil and Dom in a feisty lead group. Andy Hill pulled his new hybrid club and went for the challenging over-the-trees-and-shave-off-the-corner shot off the first tee. AH played with Bill and was partnered with another guest player, Jim Dyer - a 3 tour veteran who was whispering a few tips in the Chairman ears. The tail group of Andrew, Ronnie and myself tried to keep up with the action ahead.
The cards show plenty of pars and a birdie from myself, 60m out on the 1st. You've got to love a 4 pointer on the opening hole! Ronnie played some sublime iron shots and looks like a player whose confidence is on the up. Jim tallied up 13 points over 5 holes but fell away with 3 wipes over the last. Dom and Adam had a close fought battle with Adam missing a 1/2 metre putt on the last which allowed Dom to share the honours.
If the Doors are right then I've just reduced my Handicap by 2.5 shots - 23 points today and no wipes. Now bring on the World Cup. Go England!!!
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Report: Friday 02/06/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Only 1 Wannabee appeared today and 5 stalwart members of the finest golfing association in Australia. We were offered the rear holes which caused much excitement. Bill noted that Lisa's morning tea would be chilly as Dom was sporting their tea cosy on his noggin, B grade disappeared in the morning chill.
C grade was made up of myself, a newly enthused Ronnie who hit some sweet irons and Chairman Bill who pulled out his polished wood and promptly drove it into the trees, a sign of things to come.
Whilst C grade failed to score a single par, B grade showed the way, with Andy Hill sinking 2 pars. My Driver did me proud today and 5 boags on the last 6 holes will keep me coming back for more. Only 4 more Friday's to the PGA Classic.
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Report: Friday 26/05/2006
Written by: Neil Davis
It was a good turn out at the wake this morning with eight contenders facing off for battle. Bill, the Chairman decided that we would play the back nine. Justin lost two balls off the tee while Paul,Andrew and myself were in a good position to par the hole. I looked back down the fairway to see all of the green keepers, their family and their pets coming towards us to do "green keeper stuff", and to be told that we would be better off teeing off the first.
Andy, Justin, Paul and myself hit off the first with four very respectable tee shots. I went on to par the first and the second hole with consistent driving and great approach shots, hitting six fairways and five greens in regulation. My new driver which I have called the "F16" was fantastic. I went on to play the best round of golf at the wake with three pars and bogeeing the rest. It's all about me. I look forward to placing the classic cup on my mantle piece.
Eat my divits. Thanks for the Wonga!
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Report: Friday 19/05/2006
Written by: Andrew Hill
Pre-dawn in the Wakehurst car park. PGAers are everywhere, using flashlights to prepare equipment for battle. Dom arrives, still wearing his burglar outfit from his nights work in the suburbs. He’s trying to sell some DVD players and big TVs from the back of the car but everyone is too focused on the golf and leave him behind to take off his slippers and put on his golf shoes.
And so we start the first morning of our new PGA Grade system. Now there has been some talk around the traps about what A, B and C-Grade actually stand for. Some suggestions include:
A – American, absent American, AWOL, sepo
B – Brilliant, best, bloody excellent, Ballita buccaneers
C – crap, crappy, crummy, consistently bad, cheesy, cheap, chokers, challenged
So, I think we need to put this to rest right now and just say there is no connotation or implication associated with these Grade letters. They are just letters, nothing more.
So the B-Graders teed off while the C-Graders looked on in the hope that they would pick up a few much needed tips. I have to say that it was an absolutely cracking morning, just beautiful (but not a bunny in sight, Bill).
Dom is going through a minimalist phase, sporting only 4 clubs in his bag. “I’m experimenting” he explained. Sadly, this minimalism was also reflected in his points scoring.
Anyway, my new hybrid (spend low, score low) paved the way for victory. One or two Choker-Graders put up a fight but they are no match for the Brilliant-Graders.
I love Stableford Fridays!
Andrew
B-Grade Legend
P.S. Nine players today, and a good pace maintained by all. Good job.
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Report: Friday 12/05/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
The hard core members arrived in gloom and heavy skies but with jovial spirits. A few excuses were receivied!
The first group tee'd off in the dark and were rarely seen again. Seemingly setting a cracking pace which was receiving due praise from the Chairman. An individual par seems to be the highlight from Martyn, Andy and Paul.
Group 2 was a feisty bunch, vertically challenged we may be but we play a solid game these days which will see these 3 contending for honours on the soon to be annouced PGA Classic event! Bill followed his birdie from the fringe on Sunday with another excellent Birdie on the 5th. Neil produced another new club, this one a Driver which he got thump a mile and so did Bill when he used it at the 8th. 2 pars to Neil.
Still I had my nose in front after a Par on the 2nd and held back the chasing pack. Then the jitters set in from 100m out on the 9th, finding OOB on the putting green to rattle up as many shots at the last as goals the Socceroos will concede against Brazil.
Group 1 was gone but they left the cash and I'll enjoy my pie and mash:)
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Report: Friday 05/05/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I can honestly say I have never voted for anyone for slow play, I don’t like the idea, it upsets people. It should be scrapped and replaced with an anonymous vote for kicking nodders out of the PGA, I would like to start the ball rolling by proposing that Jeff is given the boot, not only because of his sexual preference but because he never turns up, unless there is 800 rubs up for grabs, and Wendel because he can’t get past the ladies Tee, oh and Ronnie because it will really annoy him.
How spazzy can you get, 72 holes of golf and only 4 pars between us – that’s right the PGA rocks, maybe Martyn’s crap idea of playing paintball holds the future, Paintballing Gonks Association – we can have stats on how many times you get hit the face.
I love stableford Friday; I win it every month and have now graciously received almost 200 sheets from you Muppets. I shouldn’t have won on 16 points but if the rest of you insist on spazzing around racking up between 6 and 10 points so be it.
Have I got any friends left?
Long the live the PGA
Dom
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Report: Friday 28/04/2006
Written by: Andrew Hill
Ben Hur
It was so big you couldn't see over the top of it.
It was so big it really needed a shotgun start.
It was so big the ATO are investigating my winnings.
It was so big that when I walked off the ninth the last PGA four-ball was still teeing up on the 1st.
Actually, there was only ten of us, but isn't the PGA growing!
Memorable moments:
Andy Pennington paying for his seventh cart hire, muttering "I really need to buy one of these."
Big Al and Co. being given the hurry-up on the eighth fairway by three old biddies.
The anonymous quote, "Certain people should either play more or give up."
Dom's 10 on the tenth.
JM's 10 on the fifteenth.
Wendell's 4 on the 13th.
Chris's birdie on the 13th.
The hotpants jogger-babe on the 15th.
Bill's golf lesson dividend still proving elusive.
Big Al's record 73.
My $59.95 PFG driving iron delivering the magic.
I love stroke Fridays! F#%k the Irish.
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Report: Friday 21/04/2006
Written by: Martyn Lomax
This report is going to be all about me, cos for once I won.
When I was standing outside my house at 5:45 this morning, waiting for my lift, I was surprised to get a call from the Chairman. "Which 9 are you playing", he said. He could have just said he might be late.
I lost the putt off for last week's cash, well done Paul.
2 groups of 3 went off the front, and I was bringing up the rear with two other non-elite "Thursday" players.
The only shot of note was when I gave Andrew, Neil and Justin a fright when I plonked my approach shot between them as they were comparing scores on to the path by the side of the 7th tee. Sorry.
I won this week's putt off after winning the toss and letting Andrew go first.
Oh, the Burglar turned up. Only 4 more games til you can really justify that shirt and name on the trophy.
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Report: Friday 14/04/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
Good Friday
A foursome of Alan, Dom, Bill and Chris tossed balls to pick partners, agreed on Stableford format over 18holes with best team aggregates for each 9 holes and highest Stableford score. Dom and Alan paired up leaving Chris with Betty….
Some tidy golf was played by Bill who set out with purpose to rid himself of Betty. A birdie opening hole got his Stableford score card ticking and Bill went on to produce one of the finest 9 hole golf performances the PGA has seen.Accuring a massive 23 points! Alas the good work and fine scoring of the front was replaced with low scoring on the back and eventually Chris was able to overhaul Bill and pipped him on the final green.
Alan was making another Friday appearance, played some solid golf and carried Dom on a number of holes! He seems destined to be a contender for PGA selection when the committee reviews applications later in the year!
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Report: Thursday 13/04/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
A public holiday on Friday saw a motley crew of Martyn, Ronnie, Chris and myself assemble at the Wake on a Thursday morning at 6a.m. We were directed towards the back 9 which had 3 groups before us waiting to tee-off. At this, Martyn returned to the pro shop with a 'do you know who we are?' where 2 new scorecards for the front 9 were handed over promptly.
Things started off well and with the holiday mood it appeared that there would be 'white fluffy Easter bunnies' on the course today. However, as we approached the dreaded 3rd, there were moans of 'I hate this hole', but everyone scrambled through. Whether it was relief or the legs were still jelly, a record number of balls were sacrificed to thy great gods of the 4th. Chris notched up an impressive 12, but was outdone by Ronnies 14!(score that is, not balls). I thought the game was in the bag at this point, but Martyn produced some great golf, revealing his secret weapon of an office putter.
Chris had as many glances at his watch as he did swings of his clubs on a day he'd rather forget. A birdie on the 8th for me saw Martyn and myself all square going up the last. I was on the green for 3 and 2 putted for a 5, Martyn on in 4 and requiring the putt for a play off(if only those greens were as flat as the office carpet....). Scores were added up and Ronnie declared a total of 69, which a couple of lady golfers looked impressed with. If they knew we had only played 9 holes! Money and score cards were handed over and the journey home seemed pleasant. As I checked the cards to submit the scores my life crumbled before my eyes, there was an incorrect net score of 3 on the 6th for me which should of been a 4!!!
Martyn, it appears I owe you and I look forward to the many sympathetic e-mails that this will generate. Still I enjoyed the game and the company and I wish you all a good long weekend, I'm off to pack my bags and flee the Country with the booty.
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Report: Friday 07/04/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I love Stableford Friday
Having promised myself (and the missus) I wouldn’t be playing golf or drinking for a while, I found myself on the first tee this morning with a mild hangover - not just me, there was a nine other false promisers!
With not a lezzer in sight we sped off to show Wakehurst that we were proper golfers, tour veterans, interstate players… but The Wake hit back, your nothing without your GPS, get back in your carts you bunch of pampered party boys it seemed to say.
Chris played like a small version of Big Al and scored one point in the first four holes, Martyn was really enjoying himself which was odd cause he was playing like a goose. Neil was blind in one eye (from drinking meths) but still managed to shoot a couple over his cap, Andrew had a pink shirt on, Paul is blind in both eyes and blames it on Jeff, Justin pulled off the most amazing putt ever as he volleyed his ball mid air in disgust cracking his new putter, JM kept throwing niftys at the greenkeeper then staring at him in a funny way and Kiwi Andy completed what must be his PGA Members qualifying round?
Anyway, I am a one course man and won again and my beloved Wake.
I promise I won’t play any more golf or drink for a while….probably.
Cheers
Dom
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Report: Friday 24/03/2006
Written by: Chris Booker
My first win of 2006 and a chance to use the new fandangle web tools that the IT Geeks have developed.
Man it was dark this morning. I'm talking black, with clouds and more than a hint of rain. Ronnie and Neil wimped out, Ronnie mumbled something out having his wisdom teeth removed. Dom was hoping to get some birthday luck - 39 today. Happy birthday mate.
The darkness at 6.40 at the first tee failed to prevent us hitting some of the best shots of the day. 4 Balls clustered around the 100m marker, this game is easy perhaps we should try blind folds off every tee. Andy Hill decided to test his luck and lost several shots and balls trying to locate the first green. I told you it was dark.
A hatrick of pars on the par5 4th and we were motoring. The friendly green keepers then caught up with us on the 5th and did enough to put us off our games, snaffling any pars.
It was fairly even on the last but I wanted the win more and when AH 3 putted the cash was mine.
The doors are fixed and we are all systems go for the first inter-state PGA event. The Gold Coast tour kicks off next Friday with a social round at Royal Pines followed by the main event at Robina Woods and Hope Island.
Watch out Queensland here we come.
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Report: Friday 17/03/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
I draw your attention to the following quote, received by me last week, in an email from Bill Freeman, Chairman of the PGA:
“If you got out there and won on Friday mornings you would be able to lead from the front and write something funny. You have a voice you know”
With Bill’s wise words ringing in my ears, here I am getting out there, winning and about to write something funny.
We all showed up, except Bill who has recently struggled to turn up, win or have the opportunity / ability to be funny.
And this is what happened:
• Andy failed to make it past the most of the ladies Tees, I suggested he played with is fly undone, he thought this was lame so he played the whole round with his old chap hanging out.
• Paul played alright but kept running around shouting “I’m gay and I’m free”
• Martyn spent the whole round telling jokes in a vain attempt to try and be funny, he has promised not to win again until he knows more jokes.
• Crispin played well at first but in a hopeless attempt to speed up his interminably slow play he took some drugs and spent the rest of the round dancing on the spot singing Aciiiiid & Ezergood he’s Eberneeza good.
• I played with skill and precision that most surely put me odds on favourite in the Calcutta betting system.
Chris and I had a putt off for the cash, by which time he was dehydrated and disorientated, his putt went backwards enabling me an easy two putt for the cash.
My envelope is now so full I am hiring a personal Rub & Tug Gina Hood for the duration of Pure Gold.
I look forward to more motivating emails from our half witted, lazy Chair Gonk this week.
PS. On a genuine note and on behalf of the PGA I would like to congratulate Andy & Mel on the announcement that they are expecting their first child later this year. See what happens when you can’t keep you old chap in your pants!
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Report: Friday 10/03/2006
Written by: Martyn Lomax
The Booker, Easten and Lomax group watched as Bill and Andrew hit off in to the dark on the first tee.
We could tell things weren't going well when Andrew came running back to the corner to take a provisional.
We didn't see the first group again until the 8th, where apparently they had 20 minutes to do some chipping practice.
Paul had some trouble with a couple of lost balls, but played a nice steady round hitting most of the greens. One to watch in a couple of weeks for the pinky.
I got all excited after getting a putt with in one inch of the cup from 15 metres out on the 8th and miss counted my shots, thankfully the new marking strategy picked up on this.
Chrissy played well until he got his woods out, and then produced nearly 20 shots over 2 holes. He then hit a cracker over the trees on the 9th only to have to run back down to take a provisional. He did show us all how it should be done by chipping in with a crowd of patient players from the first group and grounds staff.
I don't really know how the rest of Bill and Andrew's round went, we just heard comments like "sh!thouse" as we were running up to the carpark at 5 to 9.
An enjoyable morning. The rest of the day is down hill from here.
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Report: Friday 03/03/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Today’s write up is in Bullita point form:
• Wendel has pulled out of the tour, he suddenly realised that he was Page Boy at a gay wedding and believes this will be more fulfilling than breaking out the envelope with your mates on the Gold Coast. Feel free to pass on you messages of condolence directly.
• Everyone has paid for the tour – even Martos!
• Neil turned up, good to see him. Played like a spaz for the most part but was probably weighed down by the pockets in his combat pants.
• Martyn made a bit of a comeback from the depths of despair after investing $100 in a 1000 balls at the Bean. Played pretty well apart from three botty wipes
• Rodney me old son was going ok ‘till I gave him some well intentioned advise, from then on he couldn’t hit sh*t.
• I put together a well crafted cap reducing round. That’s it now, I’m off 18 and my envelope is bulging - mission accomplished. Next goal is to bring home the silver!
By the way, the sun doesn’t get up ‘till well passed 6.20 these days.
Cheers for the game
D.
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Report: Friday 24/02/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
He always had it in him, that long lazy draw; a reputation for the
big hit and on a day when the new Addidas Terminators were to be
christened Martyn was in line for a record. He not only nudged the
existing front nine record holder, he smashed him with a fine `above
par' performance. I am pleased to ask Ronnie to step aside, we have
a new Biggest Loser, and new worst ever round of 69! Congratulations
Martyn.
Chris hit some sweet fairway and approach shots which now sees him
scurrying off with his new clubs to his pre tour training retreat in
Merimbula, if you are interested Chris is happy to come round your
house and give a slide show presentation on how he procured his
latest set of Mr McGregor clubs, not for me thanks Chris, I am busy
for the next couple of years.
Rodney showed up and struggled a bit at first but occasional found
the form that makes him the third worst player on the tour behind
Martin and Wendel, but managed to walk away with a couple of credible
pars.
I won as usual and now play off 18, watch out benders there is a tour
looming and I am barley warming up, let's at least try and make it
competitive.
Today's cash has gone in a little envelope I keep in my desk draw
who's purpose is to fund such night time treats that I may desire
whilst relaxing on the tour.
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Report: Friday 17/02/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
You can tell that the tour is fast approaching as
there was a massive turn out this morning of 12.
People eager to hone their skills for the big event
were at the 1st tee waiting for sunrise. With the
tension mounting, the first 4-ball could wait no
longer and teed off into the darkness. They, and the
rest of us, then had the usual 5 minute wait for the
friendly greenkeepers to strut their stuff. I was in
the second group which all pulled off decent tee shots
to get our game under way. With such a big turn out
and a decent pot up for grabs, it was important to get
off to a good start, I pulled my 2nd shot into the
trees! However, a decent chip and a long putt secured
par. This was a sign of things to come as I managed to
par the opening 4 holes to give myself a fair chance
of being in the hunt. With my playing partners all
hitting some wayward tee shots it left me wondering
how the other groups were doing.
As we were nearing the end of our round, the talk
turned to course records, to pile the pressure on,
finishing with 2 double bogeys. This brought me in
with a very pleasing gross 43 and net 32. Money was
handed over by the first 2 groups as I waited to see
if the final group had faired any better. Alas, nobody
bettered my round and a win which will result in me
dropping my cap before the tour could yet prove costly.
Speaking of costly, as only 5 bucks appeared from the
final group (thanks Jean-Marc), I took home a very
good pot of $40.
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Report: Friday 10/02/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Eight starters, comeback kids and a big pot of gold…. a tour is in the air.
Dan and I joined the comeback kids Ronnie & Wendel in the first group, the slow group was made up of Big Al (who had to take a day’s holiday today to enable recovery from the early start), Billius, Chris and Paul. Did I say slow,,F*ck me the human race evolved quicker than this bunch of museum pieces.
The front runners where pretty smooth and kept the game flowing with rhythmic play, curtesy and an immaculate display of short game talent, Wendel showed some good snooker skills to “in off” Dan’s ball for an unlikely chip in. Ronnie played an intelligent round and Dan saved himself plenty of time by wearing his business shirt on the course.
After a shower, cup of tea and a quick read of the encyclopaedia Britannica we met the Slow Mo’s in the car park group for a quick tally. After shooting a credible net par round Chris found it hard to disguise his disappointment as I steamed in with a new course record (42), a handicap busting net 32 and a big wad of sausage to throw around the sandwich shop.
Right I’m off for 18 holes at Ryde Parramatta
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Report: Sunday 05/02/2006
Written by: Andrew Hill
Chairman’s Invitational Chatswood Masters Stroke Play Championship
Prior to the 1 pm tee-off, a gathering of PGA Members was held at the rooftop vista of Ronnie Bettles' swanky Bower Street apartment. Many of the attendees had participated in the early morning Shelly Beach to Manly 1 km swim. Many more, like me, had not and had just come along for the snags. (Which were lovely, thanks Ronnie.) The view over the ocean was fabulous and the circling sharks were easy to spot. The rooftop area was almost completely covered in children between the ages of 1 month and 2 years, several managed to escape down the drain pipe and were never been seen again. After a few buck's fizz', and leaving just 13 minutes to get from Manly to Chatswood, Bill and I said our good-byes and ran to our cars.
And we made it to the tee with 3 seconds to spare. JM and Paul had sorted out all the green fees so it was straight into the game, with the usual high stakes to play for. JM's complete new set of equipment sent a shiver down the spine of the other players, and his excellent round justified this early concern. Look out all you Pinky contenders!
Almost immediately Bill started harping on about the 'good ol' days at Chatswood', before they had grass on the fairways, how big the trees had got, where he used to tether his horse, etc. Apparently the course had changed a bit since he last played there. But this was a mere sideshow to his unrelenting unloading of Pro V1's into the unreachable parts of the course. The final insult was Bill's 15th new Pro V1 being 'lifted' off the approaching fairway by some opportunistic fellow players while out of our line of sight. ("This wouldn't have happened in the ol' days").
All the while JM, Paul and I were slowly and carefully working our way around the course. A bird from JM and a few pars from the rest of us set the game up for a final hole show-down. Off the tee JM went right and short, into the waiting creek and ending his chances. Paul and I were long and straight, chips to the fringe and a great par putt by Paul put the pressure on me to sink my 3 foot putt. Of course, I'm so used to winning now that I just sank it and collected the cash.
Doors (from memory) – par 65:
Andy (21)- 86 gross, 65 net, 3 pars
Paul (21)- 87 gross, 66 net, 5 pars
JM (28)- 95 gross, 67 net, 1 bird, 2 pars
Bill (24) - big number, big number, small number
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Report: Friday 03/02/2006
Written by: Andrew Hill
In my younger years the site of a wet morning might have put me off playing golf, but now that I am old and wise, I knew that a little moisture wasn't likely to spoil my day. And so with misty drizzle falling in the half-light Dom, Bill and Martyn prepared to tee off on the first. After waiting for 5 minutes for the three-ball ahead to move off we thought bugger this and walked to the tenth.
Off the trio went with Chris, Paul, Kiwi Andy and myself in tow. Up ahead it appears there was some confusion about just how far away from the point of rest a two-club penalty drop may actually be dropped. We can now confirm that the distance is 'up to two club-lengths'. Of course this kind of confusion can lead to aggravation and violence. Dom's umbrella, battered and broken and lying in a bin along the course somewhere, can bare testament to this. It's a tough game.
Being the first Friday of the month we played stableford. Andy showed stunning improvement as he tucked another wannabe game under his belt. Paul was always in it and played his usual steady game. Chris was knocking on the door but having a bit of trouble with the longer clubs. And I played well, for my age that is.
I love stableford!
Marc couldn't make it because he was in France, which is a better excuse than normal. Does anyone know if Ronnie still lives in Australia?
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Report: Friday 27/01/2006
Written by: Andrew Hill
Waiting in the dark outside Martyn's house this morning, watching 20-something clubbers walk past in a drugged haze on their way from/to some club, I began to wonder what the hell was delaying him. Eventually he appeared looking like he had drunk a case a Boags the night before. "Sorry I'm late", he says as he gets into the magnet, "I drank a case of Boags last night."
Kiwi Andy, who is keen to impress the PGA as he approaches his 5-game minimum, was waiting patiently on the driveway outside his house. And so the three of us raced off to the course...
Meanwhile at the Wake Bill, Dom and Chris were warming up on the first tee having skipped past the pro-shop, which was unmanned. Perhaps the pro had drunk a case of Boags last night, too? Under local rules (7c), if you beat the pro to the course the round is free. Blimey - we were in the money without having hit a ball!
So, golf. Bill, Dom and Chris teed off and we never saw them again until the 9th green. Not only were they playing at an impressive speed, they didn't have a green keeper on a mower following them around EVER FRIGGIN HOLE mowing the tees and giving them filthy looks. We did. Still, I shot 44 so what do I care.
Highlights of the day – Kiwi Andy smashing his driver down the middle on most holes. Martyn sinking long putts on 5 holes, including a monster 10 metre putt on the 7th. But it wasn't all good - ill winds were blowing. Boags were blamed.
So at the 9th Dom, who'd shot a 46/35 had collected the cash from Bill and Chris and was 'just holding it' while he waited for our results. And next time you see me I'll be wearing that cash in the form of some rather smart new cotton golf socks.
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Report: Friday 20/01/2006
Written by: Bill Freeman
A six ball greeted the dawn at Shakey this morning.
Good to see Jeff there, he arrived about 4am with a head torch so
that he could try out his new Clubs. He picked the shiny Mizuno's for
tuppence ha'penny off the `bay without proper sign off or approval
from above - he'll pay in blood. Transiting them under the cover of
darkness is probably the best move as their previous owner doesn't
know they are no longer in his garage yet.
Dom, Chrissy, Martyn and Andrew and myself all arrived on time
allowing us to head to the 10th to get away.
The first 3 ball of Jeff, Dom and Andy struck first with Andy nailing
his iron a mile down the fairway with Dom not far behind. Jeff sent
his ball heading back toward Manly where it used to live but clung on
to rough to avoid ending up on the 16th green. The dozy groundsman
decided to clip the 10th green blade by blade and despite us waving
and hollering at him wouldn't budge - do they know who we are?
The 2nd 3 ball had time to hit up toward the boys and landed our
balls all within a few metres of each other, almost like grown up
`soggy biscuit'.
After much waiting and fidgeting, the boys hit up with JB spacking
about a bit with the fake jap bats. Then they were gone.
Our 3 ball trotted along with 5's and 6's on that hole.
Hole 11 - as we approached we grumbled how tough this hole was and
that it should be a par 5. We all hit average balls off the tee, but
balls that we could find. Martyn then gave one to the ball gods
whilst CB plonked one down the fairway and I narrowly missed OB about
110 out from the pin. I chipped 10 metres to put me clear of the
scrub and stepped up with my 9 iron. I then stuck the b@stard in the
hole from 100m for a par. Sweet. Who said this hole was hard?
Full of confidence I pulled my driver out of the bag on the 12th,
(1st time in 2 months) then drove my lucky ball into the bushes.
Magic.
We all ticked along with some solid golf leading to the net tally at
the 18th tee - Martyn on 28, me on 29, CB on 31, we all drove a bit
average but with mine on the fairway, I saw my window. Martyn
returned to the 17th tee box half way through the hole but still
managed a 7 and my 5 was good enough to make the tie at 33 with
Martyn and I. Dom wanted to join in but couldn't add up so was left
behind with his abacus.
It took 2 holes of putting, with Martyn narrowly missing the cup and
giving me the coin.
My victory was by the slimmest margin, in fact I put it down to my
new Jelly Divot repairer. The desire to use it forced my ball onto
the green and gave me the edge. I might have looked like a one man
band, but if that's the price of glory, I'll pay it.
Dom took the piss, I took his money.
The scores below represent the consistent standard we are now playing
on a Friday morning. 10 weeks till we tour, so the shout goes out to
all Members and Wannabes - come and join us on a Friday morning, feel
the tour excitement mounting.
Come and see the Jelly at work.
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Report: Friday 13/01/2006
Written by: Dominic Wells
Lots of blokes vying for the big cash, Bill the bleary eyed Pom and
Martyn the `I would have a tan if I wasn't a Blood Nut' Queensland
Diver were back.
Two teams - the Yellow Tees (Bill, Martyn & Andy) and the Slow Group
(Me, Jean Marc, Neil Snail and Chris Tortoise). It was hot and sticky
but every one played pretty well I thought - The standard is
definitely up which is reflected in the "man caps" becoming a reality
for all.
The Yellow Tees showing impeccable patience and courtesy waited by
the ninth and were treated to an interesting finish. After a solid
par to finish Neil felt justifiable confident of cashing it large,
with a 2 under par net 35 however to his dismay my chip on and one
putt par finish pissed on his fire with a 3 under par net 34.
For one highly charged moment a repeat of the famous Blue Mountains
rumble was back on, I had visions of Jean Marc pinning me to the
green by my ears while Neil pummelled me with his 4 iron.
Fortunately, as in Katoomba, I avoided conflict and grace in defeat
was restored.
Special mention to Chris for playing 2 under his cap - Ladyboy taunts
are a thing of the past mate (unless we're pissed)
Cheers for the game - see most of you on Sunday for the Cricket.
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Report: Friday 06/01/2006
Written by: Paul Easten
Happy New Year to you all. Lets hope that todays golf was a hangover from the festivities and not a sign of things to come from the New Year.
There were 5 of us for the first Wake of 2006 with Andrew bringing along a new wannabe, Andy. Chris, Dom and myself all hit great tee shots and were on the green for 3. Unfortunately, we all 3 putted for opening 6's, which set the tone for the next couple of holes. Chris completely blew it on the tricky 3rd and I was still scrambling away.
4 holes down and an update from Andrew, Dom and I realised we could be in the hunt and started to play some decent golf, parring the 5th. Dom managed some of his monster drives and I was getting the lucky breaks that I needed.
After 8 holes there was only 1 shot between us with me in front. I got a decent drive off but Dom smashed one down the Tiger line. With both of us just off the green, I chipped to within a foot for a single put and par to take our 3 ball. Andrew and Andy quickly followed revealing their scores and giving me the first win of 2006.
Scores to be forwarded by Andrew, but nobody managed to play to their handicap, this was a win by default more than by good golf on my behalf.
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Report: Friday 23/12/2005
Written by: Martyn Lomax
"You should aim for the green" was the advice Andrew gave Joff, our latest wannabe, as we watched Chris, Dom and Paul forage for their balls on the banks of the 10th fairway.
Good advice, which Joff seemed to follow only on his tee shots.
Andrew's driving iron was as strong as ever, getting him to the greens in regulation and providing a birdie and at least one par.
The first group charged on, I think me rattling them up with my 150m approach shot on the 11th whilst they were still chipping on increased their pace.
Dom had a falling out with his Big Bertha II today. I missed the club being thrown to the ground, where apparently, it bounced quite a lot before Dom had to take the long walk to fetch another ball from his bag.
Even though I lost it with a 9 on the 14th I still came in with a solid 32 net.
Chris once again played under his cap, and the rest weren't far behind with some 36/37 nets.
Enjoy your 18 holes next week. I'll be back to take you money again on the 13th Jan.
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Report: Friday 16/12/2005
Written by: Bill Freeman
Well theres a turn up for the Christmas books. I'm writing a
report!
The stalwart Friday fellows hurumphed and hurrahed their way to
the 1st tee with a new Wannabe in tow. Justin Collins has been
`Banging in Britain' for the past couple of years and has come
back to his homeland as the golf course are more accessible. Hes
a good chap and confessed to me last night over a couple of Lamb
and Rosemary Sausages that he wants to be the 1st Aussie in the
PGA. If he does cut the mustard, he'll also be the 1st lefty, its
almost like watching a Joey Deacon play swingball.
Anyway, we all (me, Justin, Neil and Paul) shot some marvellous
tee shots and were within metres of each other which set the
standard for much of the mornings play. Pars and Boge's being the
order of the day for most of us except Justin who fed the Golf gods
their ration of balls on a regular basis. Especially from the 4th
where they feasted on the last of his prized `EA Sports' balls as
he swung wildly aiming at fairways 3 holes away.
Neil was his usual consistent self, fussing about every little
thing and taking the game far too seriously, but delivering a
solid score with only a few blemishes and 1 lost ball. Paul
played a blinder and was putting like a demon which saved him from
a couple of duffs. Jussie was a little indifferent, moments of
brilliance, followed by many moments of `which way does water go
down the plug hole' type shots. Most notable though was his birdie
on the 7th which was almost an Eagle. He reckons he plays off about
20-23, 5 mornings at the Wake' will soon set the record straight.
As for me, I played the best game I've ever played at Wake',
possibly anywhere, ever.
I shot 46 off the stick for a net 32, 5 under par (net), blimey.
3 pars in a row, easy swings, solid putting, very happy chappy.
I did however have a stroke of luck when my tee shot from the 6th
was slicing its way off the right hand side, it hit the 150m marker
stone and bounced back onto the fairway!! Must have been the golf
gods happy with their tukka.
I wish more of you were there to pay me to see it.
Neil shot 47 for a net 36
Paul shot 49 for a net 39
Jussie shot his load all over the golf course.
Christmas comes but once a year, and so does Bill winning on a
Friday morning, but `Gawd Blimey', the $5 frenzy is wicked.
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Report: Thursday 15/12/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Slow play - slow start. Dom's early decision to allow 2 youths to
play through us on the 6am tee-off back fired early. With the youths
dragging their heavy shoes to the bend on the 1st fairway and making
the PGA wait till 6.18 before hitting our second shots. Andy went off
like Bubba Watson. Hitting regulation greens on the first 4 holes and
only narrowly finding the fringe on the 5th. Nice golf!
Dom was OOB off the 2nd and it was my turn on the 3rd. Martyn
launched a Longmax special 2nd shot at the green on the Par4 3rd
which set him up well for a chip and putt attempt. The 4th saw me
pull out the 5wood and land a descent position up the fairway setting
up a par but as usual Dom had to go one better and belted his drive
an extra 30m - very nice.
Up at the 5th Andy decided it was time for some driving practice with
his new PGF driving iron - $59 at Kmart. 3 off of the tee is very
unusual for Andy and ended up costing him the coin.
The 8th saw some particular scrappy play by me, rattled by a duffed
tee shot, I blew out for a 9 to keep my handicap in check! I got the
feeling I wasn't the only one struggling on this hole today.
Up on the ninth tee and Dom launches a monster drive up towards the
18th green whilst the doors reveal it's all to play for! Dom chips
back to the fringe then is up by the hole but 2 putts for net39.
Martyn hits into the fringe but chips just short of the green
settling for a net 39. From the fairway bunker I play up to the
fringe, chipped in close and 1 putted for Par- Hoorah!
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Report: Friday 09/12/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Don't they realise who we are? Getting turned away from the Wake
felt bad but after a quick gob in the car park we pegged it to
Balgowlah and were teeing of at 6.15 - not a bad result.
We weren't sure whether to play the front or back nine, but settled
on the front. From the social tees all the greens were temptingly
close, after claiming not to have a club small enough for the 60m
par3 2nd I came up short by a good 5 m.OK so Balgowlah is a bit on
the pitch and putt side on things but it was nice to play a different
course, good for confidence, the greens are fantastic and one or two
of the holes are a genuine challenge.
In summary I played brilliantly and should be at Huntingdale today,
Chris did well with only one hole of tree scaping and divot taking to
mare his performance, Andy was smooth but created an issue for
himself by declaring only an 11 on the last hole would result in him
Dom 36 24 2p 2b
Neil 40 29 5p
Chris 46 30 1p
Andy 43 31 3p
Paul 43 33 2p
Martyn 48 33 1p
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Report: Friday 02/12/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
The first Friday of summer and the PGA game teed off (front 9)
at 6:05 am with the Chairman, the Treasurer, the most wannabe
of wannabes, Paul, and myself in attendance. The heavy dew
accentuated the humid conditions and soon we were sweating
like a bunch of sumo wrestlers in a sauna after a steaming
vindaloo. And the flies loved it!
Bill played some lovely tee shots with his rescue club. Many
of them travelling huge distances before dropping into the
various lakes and ponds scattered around the course. Chris
was very competitive, narrowly missing more than a few long
putts that would have made him untouchable (but not for the
flies). Paul took a few holes to warm up but soon showed
the form that has won him a few Fridays in the recent past.
So after eight holes Chris and I were both on 18 points. I
hooked my tee-shot, recovered for a 5. Chris nailed his tee-shot,
and hit the green with his second. Knowing he had it in the bag
(with an extra shot on that hole) he three putted for the win.
But then the unthinkable happened!!!! On checking his score
Chris noticed an unfortunate arithmetic error, handing me
the win by one point. I love Stableford Fridays!
Doors:
Andrew - 20 points, 2 pars
Chris - 19 points, 1 par
Bill - 15 points, 1 par
Paul - 11 points, 1 par
We finished at 8:25 - the delay largely due to ground
staff holding up play. I think they did it on purpose after
we almost killed one of them the previous week.
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Report: Friday 25/11/2005
Written by: Neil Davis
Good to see you boys this morning bright and early at the wake for
the friday session. Bill and Dom the dominator teed off at the 1st
with 2 fine shots down the left centre well done, not sure if they
were the only crisp shots that you played?
Dan, Martyn and I, were hot on there heels, I put my first shot with a
5i into the fairway bunker only to follow that up with my second into
the green side bunker, very happy to have walked away with a 5.
I have to say that the wake was kind to me today, I played very
safe, and left the big stick in the bag until the 3rd where I smashed
a great drive over the trees on the left, that left me with a 9i in
and walked away with a 4.
The only funny thing that happened to day was watching Martyn in all
sorts of trouble on the 6th in the bunker, I lost count after 8,dan
and I were trying not to laugh but it was hard, I did offer to lend a
hand as I happened to have a spade in my bag but Martyn declined.
I will end by saying thankyou all for the wonderful breakfast that I
stuffed in my gob on the way home, see you all on Wednesday.
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Report: Friday 18/11/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
"F***G WAIT!!!!!!!!!", screamed the green keeper, as he kicked
my ball out of the way of his little red mower on the tenth green.
Only seconds before my eight iron approach-shot had missed his head
by at least 80cm. 'Why the violent outburst?', I thought to myself
as I sunk my putt for a par. Curious fellow.
And so Dan, Paul, Chris and I continued on to the eleventh. Warm,
blue skies, no wind, and medium flies. Just as predicted.
It went like this:
Golf Whore - duffs, slices, many missed putts, lost balls, out of
bounds, swearing = 67/51 (a new highest net record)
Paul - some good, some bad, some ugly = 52/42 and one par
Dan - some massive drives (especially on the 16th - his drive left
him 185m from the green on a 458m hole), some great touchs, some
trouble = 51/39 and one par
Andrew - fairways, greens, pitchmarks, some duffed short
play = 45/33 and two pars
Dan loaned me his driving iron for a few shots. I'm buying one today.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 04/11/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
The Wannabes outnumbered members in the car park this morning 3
to 2, an indication of new member speeches and PGA allegiance
declared a this month’s AGM.
Neil and I unloaded first with Bill, Dan and Paul whacking off
from behind. It was Stableford Friday (I love Stableford Friday)
and we soon got into the rhythm, racking up the two pointers, our
momentum was checked on the 14th where Neil got into an altercation
with the greenkeeper after trying to dance with his teenage
girlfriend, I was in the bushes having a slash at the time so missed
the ensuing tousle, we were ejected from the green and moved onto
the 15th. Neil birdied the par 5 fifteenth but with victory in his
grasp three putted the 18th resulting in 16 points for him and 17 for me.
The sweaty brothers puffed their way up the 18th and all finished
with reasonable scores but not enough to avoid handing over more
cash to the undisputed holder of the 2005 PGA Order of Merit. There
is option for debate here as to whether this self appointed title is
actually more converted than the PGA trophy itself!
Stats for 2IC IT (in case this confuses you 18 points = par therefore
everyone played over their cap which will now add 0.1 to all caps)
Dom 17 points 1par
Neil 16 points 1 bird
Bill 16 points 1 par
Dan 14 points
Paul 12 points 1 par
Tour News
The next tour is locked in for the first weekend in April. The most
likely venue is the Gold Coast, Jeff and I are currently getting quotes
for 2 x top notch resort courses (Probably Robina Woods and Hope Island)
3 star accommodation on Broadbeach and transport to and from golf courses.
We will present our findings at the AGM.
Thanks for the game.
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Report: Friday 28/10/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
No wannabees and no late arrivals - tee off promptly at 6am so all
those in attendance absorbed Dom's rollicking email from last week!
The first hole didn't bode well for Bill, who seemed to be having
trouble with the clay. The 2nd found me struggling to get away from
the tee with an out of bounds followed by a topped shot - 4 to the
fairway, nice! Dom found some OOB on the approach and I managed a
nice wedge into the pin. Trotting around to the 3rd Dom pulls a
monster drive which draws around, landing central fairway around 100m
out - very nice. Bill takes an ultra conservative iron from the tee!
Whilst I chopped too much off the corner and find OOB again and
followed up my approach with a wedge into the pond - terrific I've
dropped 6 shots in 2 holes!
Around to the 4th and time to feed the trees with golf balls. Dom
makes a double offering - very generous. I managed a par - well
pleased.
Martyn's draw swing on the 5th looked sub-optimal requiring a tricky
chip backup from the rough and Bill took the opportunity to have a
play in the sand at the front bunker.
Not much exciting happening on the 6th or 7th so around to the 8th
and the pressure is on. Bill follows his short tee shot with a
massive rescue club - well played. Dom gets some luck with the trees
left and follows up by whacking his next shot back into the trees -
I'm seeing an opportunity! Sinking a 2 putt for a 6, a 2005 8th hole
lowest score for me. I'm adding up my doors trundling through the
woods in with a chance.
Bill is 1 ahead and playing well but places his 9th tee shot slightly
off the fairway. My 7 iron lands just short and Bill has the chance
for the win, he chips short twice and then attacks the pin and holes
agonizingly wide. A 2 putt finish to claim the $15 cash and 1 stroke
under my 'cap.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 21/10/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
I can't be funny three weeks in a row so I am going to be all serious
instead - if that doesn't suit you, tough when you win you can have
your say.
I don't know about you blokes but I didn't get to work until 9.30am,
a bit late for me seeing as the 14 members of my team had been
ferreting away since 8.30am. Now I enjoyed the golf and the company
as always and I acknowledge that it's a social event that's fun and
enables us to catch up as mates, however a couple of points must be
stressed:
1. We need to quickly and efficiently Tee off at the specified
time. Martyn arrived at 5.50am this morning ready for a 6am
start, we didn't actually hit off until 6.15am (25 minutes after
Martyn arrived). Unfair, rude and a waste of time.
2. We finished at 8.30am, so it took us 2hr 15min, not bad but with
no one in front of us we should be aiming for 2 hrs max. This is
easily achieved - 30 seconds less taken on each green saves us 18
minutes over 9 holes. If you apply this to the T box as well we
save almost 40 minutes! How do we do this? Easy:
Green
* Line up your putt while your partners are taking theirs.
* Immediately repair your pitch mark (if you are lucky enough to
have one) and mark your ball if you are not going to putt on.
* Be ready to place your ball by your marker as soon as it's your
turn.
* First person to putt out should hold the flag and place it back
as soon as the last person has completed the hole
Tee
* Mark your score card either on route to the tee or as soon as you
get there
* If you have earned the first Tee shot but are not ready, let your
partners go ahead if they are good to go
* Have your ball and Tee in hand and step forward to place them as
soon as it's your turn
* Save the Yip Yap to the fairway
I am not the best or fastest player in the world and I am not
suggesting anyone should rush any of their shots (there's too much
money at stake) but from a selfless playing etiquette point of view
and to allow those who need to be at work at a reasonable time we
should all consider the above - in the long run it will make us all
more complete golfers.
I won but only just, Chris set himself up for a golden bird
opportunity on the 9th to head to a play off but he spazed, although
came through with a very credible par, Martyn was out of contention
after emptying his ball bag into a pond (I can think of better places
to unload) and Bill did pretty well with a two over par 39, but he
didn't do anything funny to write about. I ended up pipping Chris to
the post by just 1 shot.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 14/10/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Great to see so many out this morning, not because we are great bunch
of golf loving pommy mates but more because the prize money gets big,
contenders get serious and every one starts thinking about a free
food or a lunchtime trip to golfmart.
Great to have Neil out for his second Friday, no doubt sacrificing
last night's late night call to the Pussycat Lounge for the early
start, also welcome to Dan the Son of Man, who sh*t himself every
time he saw nature (turtles, black parrot things and killer lizards)
and Paul who must be up for nomination at the next AGM, hope your
speech is up to it mate.
Got a great tip from our equipment freak this morning regarding lead
tape:
J: do you like me lead tape? (Stuck on wedge)
D: What's it for?
J: Don't know, but all the pro's use it!
He peeled it off and threw it at me on the 8th...never seen the pro's
do that.
Good looking set of scores (below) although I haven't added the 2
stroke, slow play penalty for the 2 1/2 hr team, still a range of -4
to +4 is pretty sound.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 07/10/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Where were you?
Just one Wannabe waiting in the car park and we were soon off around
the back nine holes.
Some Boag's, a par or two and it was pretty even after 5 holes. Paul
hits short but safe on the par3 16th and I hit the bank at the back
of the green but the ball stayed up. I'm not too sure about hitting
for the bank now, it seems to require a lot of luck or soft touch to
stay on the green and I failed to do either clocking up a harsh
seven! Paul was safely in for 4 and up to 17th. A pair of long tee
shots and Paul hits a belter 5wood from 180 out which nestles just
short, whilst my 3rd shot, a wedge approach just slides down to the
edge of the bunker for a tricky chip and putt.
18th offered up good tee shots and different styles, Paul again
trying the 5 wood approach and finding trouble where as my
8iron/wedge combination was just long and required a deft touch chip
to hold the green.
54 gross each but I get the $5 sandwich on the 'caps.
We can look forward to Paul's membership nomination speech soon!!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 30/09/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Alright benders good new and bad news.
Good news : I won again
Bad news : I am out of the tour
I spent my $20 (should have been $25 but someone didn't pay up) on
physio treatment for my back that collapsed on the 16th My man said
"don't tour", I said "bollo@ks, I'm touring", he said "don't tour"
So here I am, dejected & on one knee stretching my hip flexors at my
desk.
I'm coming anyway and can still drink more than the lot of you
(Except Alan who is Scottish, massive and wrote a book on drinking)
Direct link to this report
Report: Thursday 22/09/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
If anyone else takes the piss out of my Volvo I'm not coming on tour!
- That's probably good for you all `cause I won a heap of coin again
this morning and it looks likely that the shaky handed trophy
engraver will be getting repeat business from me in the very near
future.
The short tees hit off first, it wasn't the last time we would see
Bill and Chris as we caught up with them and waited while they stared
at the ground on the 11th, 12th 13th etc. etc. The long tees looked
an altogether more professional outfit with The Long Iron, Andy and I
settling into an early rhythm...At least Martyn did, with consistent
irons creating a natural lazy draw all morning. Andy succumbed to
the voices in his head which screamed at him to play like a spastic
(no offence to those who have mentally handicapped family and
friends, this is just the term that best describes some of Andy's
shot's) anyway he can't make the tour now either `cause he is booked
into the Priory clinic with Kate Moss to sort out his troubled life.
I started hitting pars, well bogies mainly but lost a bit of rhythm
at the 13th where Bill & Chris had set up a temporary driving range
from the elevated members tee, once they had slowly finished a bucket
of balls each we where back on our merry way.
Look, Martyn should have won really; he played better than all of us
and would have been feasting on new socks if only the poor chap had
escaped from the bunker on the 17th in less than 20 shots.
Should I comment on the cash prize element of the tour,
professionalism, chairman's holding back the development of the game,
should it be $10 should it be $50? Is it about pride?, is it about
free steak?... maybe I will let that one rumble on the a while, after
all it's finer detail when you consider we don't even know where and
when the tour is!!!)
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Report: Friday 16/09/2005
Written by: Martyn Lomax
My day started with an SMS from the chairman at 4:47am. He made his excuses,
but said he'd send someone in his absence.
Andrew and myself arrived bright and early at the Wake. And being given the
gift of an extra hour to wake up I felt like I was in with a chance of
winning from the moment I got my score card.
This feeling, however, didn't last very long as I lost my first tee shot in
to the trees.
With four of us ready to head off there was a call from the Forest dwellers,
running a bit late. Chris stayed back to make it two groups of three.
Obviously Dom will need to leave home earlier if using the Volvo.
The first group headed off, Paul, Andrew and myself making reasonable
progress with the third hole showing we had really found our swings.
Most of the greens were hit with par potential, with a few stray balls
requiring bush whacking (it wouldn't be the PGA without some foraging on a
Friday morning).
The second group of Dom, Chris and Wendel were not hot on our heals. In fact
we have a good 10 mins to finish the doors and ponder if I'd be having
taking the coin when the other group finally turned up.
They turned up in style. They hit the green with some impressive approach
shots, some clean putting.
I took the coin, and 1 point off my cap. Why did I do this two weeks before
the tour?!
PGA Quote: "The best game I ever played" - Wendel 16/09/2005
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 09/09/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
The tour must be round the corner, everyone and his father in Law
were out today except McFiddlefingers of course, It's not only
numbers that hint of a forthcoming event, have a go at the new gear
hanging off everyone! - Bill confounded the fashion critics with a
great pair of 80's retro Nike `pump' golf shoes, lets hope he doesn't
turn up in Katoomba in October in a leotard and leg warmers. Wendel
had a nifty pair of Tiger Woods slacks that match his moon boots and
I was hosting my new middle aged and Volvo sponsored quilted vest,
just another item of apparel from the corporate day war chest. Jeff
had a quiet week with the credit card and had only replaced all his
wedges, re-gripped every club and kitted himself out in a sailors
outfit - wait `till KPMG dish out the '05 bonus he'll probably turn
up in his own motorised cart and captain's hat!
Ok, I digress. I can't talk for Bill and his shoes or whoever he
played with, likewise for Chris and Jim who will know doubt mail
their score cards once they get to the clubhouse in time for dinner
tonight but I witnessed Jeff having a poor round, likely due to
recent equipment `fiddling', Wendel was disappointing with his stoic
short game not good enough to prevent a dismal wiping of 5 out of the
9 holes. As usual and in a pre-cursor to the tour I had a great game
combining long accurate drives with classic touches around the green
to finish with 20 points and an eye on the course record.
(Incidentally this is genuinely only 68 at Wakehurst)
Watch out boys and Simon - you want the cup, I've got it and at this
rate I not too sure I need to bother taking her out of the cabinet
for a trip to Mountains!
Better luck next week.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 02/09/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Synopsis: It started off good, went downhill, came back and finished
strong.
Or,
We teed off the front and sunk some early Boags. The 2nd was
disappointing. The 3rd started with great long drives and ended up
with 2 follow up shots in the pond (lay up of go for it??). 4th & 5th
were OK. The 6th I sprayed my drive right and had to hit again from
the tee - slow down. Martyn went left and chipped on nicely. On the
7th I got my par after a long drive and wedge into the green. The
8th, my usual nemesis, let me through with a 6 and Martyn too with
several long irons after he hit a curve ball off the tee.
Strolling around to the 9th amongst the Black Cockatoos and
Kookaburra's the doors read 48 v 53. A drive over the trees and a
wedge onto the green - nice. 3 putt - ooohhh. Martyn took the long
iron approach and a sweet chip onto the fringe but the putt slipped
by and cash was mine.
53 played 59 - where were the rest of you?
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 19/08/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Now is the time to sell your shares in the PGA.
Analysts Review
* The Tour is a shambles, I think Wendel is using our money to pay
stamp duty
* No one turns up (Except me and Chris), which means I can only win
$5 a week instead of a potential $25!
* The standard is dropping (I won today with 12 stableford points
and never getting less than a 5)!
* Our Chairman has lost the bag & the plot and any hope of winning
the tour - ever again
* Our drinking adviser is rarely well enough to raise a glass to
his chapped lips let alone slam a triple vodka Redbull chaser
before smashing a pint glass on is head
* Our technical adviser is more interested in partners and pepper
steaks than pars and precepts
Anyway, me and Chris still love it and I predict one of us will be
wearing the green cap come September.
Today we were pants but Chris got a par and we enjoyed a very close
skins competition, the early start saw us wrapped up by 8.20am with
me heading to the sandwich shop at lunch for a bag of chips and a
coke. (The money is just not in the game anymore).
Ok losers no doubt I'll bump into you sometime in Babysgalore,
Bunnings Warehouse, Darling Harbour, New Zealand, the Mardi gras fun
run or where ever it is you hangout these days.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 29/07/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
The short story will suffice! Andy tore shreds off Martyn & I today.
His long game and short game stood up to the pressure we exerted and
after an impressive series of Pars and James Boags his was light
years ahead.
Andy has his $5 back from last week and I've lost 3 Noodles, which
makes for an expensive morning
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 22/07/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
Frozen balls...my hands were cold, too.
I think we have to keep an eye on Young Chris. The boy is a golf
whore, playing 2 - 3 times a week and improving each time. Today he
started with a par and kept it tight all round, sinking some monster
putts along the way. I too started with a par, then settled down to
mostly double figure scores for the rest of the round. F...!
Between us we hit so many balls out of bounds that there is definitely
going to be some dead or injured wildlife in the area. Unfortunately
for them, that's what you get for living on a golf course. Life is
tough.
So, Chris played to his handicap, I played 12 over mine. Then I hand
over the cash to him and he legs it up the coast leaving me to write
the report!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 15/07/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Something amazing happened today! Does anybody remember the last
time Wendall played golf on a Friday morning?
Well he took the "hit 'em straight" motto very literally and played
some good holes around the front nine at Wakehurst today. I think
he was concerned about his stats on the
http://www.pommygolf.com/doors/ I tired to get some gossip on the
next tour agenda and PGA course venues but he's keeping that under
his hat for now! There was much talk about him regularly appearing
on Friday's now and how being a neighbor to D Wells will get him
out of bed.....
I got a par on the 4th and a birdie on the 5th - enough said.
Direct link to this report
Report: Thursday 14/07/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
As the British Open tee's off tonight, Martyn and I felt it was
necessary to show the old course what she is missing.
Darkness in the car park transferred to darkness on the first tee,
but off we went regardless finding our balls correctly placed on
the slope that is the dog leg for hole1. An even had battle begun!
Martyn playing some masterly recovery shots and using his draw off
the tee sublimely. Booker was demonstrating some length with the
long irons and a little sensible thinking too.
A pair of 8 irons off the 5th found the green and 2 pars were
added to the score card. A misplaced shot by me saw Martyn dive
through the opening to position himself strongly after the 6th.
The 7th sucked as my second shot found the water hazard and a
resulting 4putt made by scorecard ugly. Martyn then found his
nemesis - the sand bunker at the 8th green and the door swung
open once more.
Off the 9th uphill 4iron to 100m out, 9iron onto the edge of
the green and a long putt that missed by a whisker. Martyn need
to par and his putt slipped past the hole. I sunk mine for a par
and a grin on my dial for the rest of the day. The sandwich will
be tasty again today.
Direct link to this report
Report: Thursday 07/07/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Following the successful nomination of London for the 2012 Olympics,
Martyn and I arranged a celebratory round at Wakehurst.
The short and sweet version is Martyn got a par on the 5th and I got
a par on the 7th. We both found the OOB tree line hazards from the
4th tee and will be taking members advise in future to play safe with
irons from this tee. An even battle, with 2 shots separating us at
the 9th tee and 1 putt the difference in the end. $5 should get a
St Leonards sandwich whilst Martyn grumbled that even if he had won
he'd be short of lunch money! Weather report cold, clear and sunny
by 7am.
Congratulations to the new parents on the PGA this week, well played
lads! A big Pommy welcome to Finn and Daisy who will be rippin' up
the Sydney courses in years to come. A fine week with potential
membership growth and the some future Parent/Children events!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 10/06/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
Where were you? I saw all the excuses about hamsters, exams and social
golf days, but let's face it you all missed a gorgeous morning for golf.
The rising sun greeted our early irons but the morning dew tested our
putting and slowed up approach chip-n-runs adding a little extra spice
to the first few holes. Martyn got off to a commanding start being 3
shots up after 3 holes. I was pleased with a par on the 13th taking a
shot back and took another after Martyn's first tee shot on the 14th
hit the wall and ricochet out of bounds. I went long and wide with the
5 wood, followed up with rescue and 2 putted for 6.
Martyn was using his draw swing to deliver some extra longmax drives
and some canny thinking, or p*ss poor by me, saw ML take 2 shots back
on the par5 15th. The draw tee shot off the 16th didn't look a good
option until Martyn hit a recover wedge to within 6 feet off the pin
and 2 putt for 4! A tip for the Wakehurst locals - watch out for the
new drainage ditches behind the water hazard on the approach to 16!
I'm on for 2 and miss the putt - ahhhhhhh.
So with Martyn cruising you must be asking how come Booker is writing
up the Doors! Let me tell you. ML hits another draw 3wood onto the
17th and CB goes long with the 5 wood onto the 18th, recovers to
centre fairway with a 7iron and hits the back of the green with an
8iron. It rolls off and requires a sandwich back onto the green and
some untidy 3 puttin' to sink - 7! Longmax goes for glory, hits an
iron up centre fairway & wedge into the green side bunker. Should be
up and down and no worries. But the Bunker strikes back, and back
and back and back and back and back and back and eventually permit
Martyn out with a sideways effort then up and down and 13 - harsh!
The window is open Booker smells his chance or is that Martyn's
pants? We are both green side on 18th with my 3 shot advantage
looking in doubt as Martyn eyes a par opportunity. He chips shorts
and putts long, I'm up and on and in for 6. Longmax trickles passed
the hole and misses coming back up by an eyelash. It's that close
but the $4.90 St Leonards Cheese and Salami sandwich will be mine.
Who says there is no such thing as a free lunch!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 03/06/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
I.m beginning to feel like Michael Shumaker, up there on the podium week
in week out, throwing my winnings away on frivolous trappings of the rich
and famous, cotton blend socks, kebabs etc.
We had a nice little team of me, Simion and Andy staggering around in the
dark, bumping into each other on the 1st. By the third (the hardest hole
on the course that I birded) things had lightened up, including the banter
which mainly revolved around the number of balls Simon had got through so
far, I lost count of the number of Top Flight Granite and the lessor known
Dunlop Marble specials that Si sacrificed to the AOB Gods.
I took further opportunity to barrack the twig like Irish contender with a
few jibes at his red Brosnann Glove, in his Gaelic tongue he understood
this to be a piss take of his Ben Hogan Rescue club so we spent about 10
minutes arguing and laughing about completely different things. Andy saw
this as an opportunity to creep up on my lead and started playing like he
wanted to invest in cotton blend futures.
By the end I had a superior lead and conscious of maintaining a competitive
handicap, threw away my 4th par opportunity by deliberately 3 putting from
3 inches out. Andy came a competitive second which left the dithering red
gloved paddy licking Guinness of his wooden spoon with a hardly credible
score of about 78!
I have decided donate my winnings to my favourite charity . .AAWAJSBPGG.
(All Adults with a Job Should Buy Proper Golf Gloves)
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Report: Friday 27/05/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Sorry guys this will be neither funny nor lengthy:
Andy, despite possessing the best swing mechanics of all time was not good
enough to beat me in a two hole putt off, this is because he is still
sh*t at putting. I played to my cap and am having a kebab for lunch.
Martin was Pathetic, but not as pathetic as those people who didn.t play,
Nice morning, I enjoyed the company . thanks fellas
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 20/05/2005
Written by: Jeff Brunka
This one goes out to all my b*tches in East Compton, a few drops of
the 4-0 for the homies looking down on me and my main man D. Saunders
keeping it real at the Been.
It would have been nice to give that one up to my swing coach, but it
was a fairly weak performance from the all the early risers this
morning. It went more like this:
Dom rocked up, still reeling from his new baby, single income,
mortgage to pay, in the suburbs mid-life crisis, with a new "it makes
me feel younger" Rip Curl beanie and a pair of white dogs to trot.
Sweet. We hit the first tee taking punts on how many times Simon
would frantically try to call us hoping we hadn't left. Sure enough,
just as I tee-d up a Callaway Black, a bright blue fleece with a red
Brosnan golf glove came scurrying down the hill. Didn't know there
was a market for red golf gloves.
The Crown Castle team was off. Dom barely cleared the ladies and
Simon, not wanting to feel outdone, came up about 3 metres short of
the reds. Round of Boags coming up.
We spacked our way through 1, 2, 3 and 4 with the odd par, bogie,
double, out-of-bounds, in the water, provisional, lost ball, 9 and
general lack-luster piss poor performance that we've come to expect
in the dark, cold, winter months before the spring tour.
We eventually lost focus by the 6th and began talking about careers,
choices, a bit of rusty bullet, best double click sites (check out
milfhunter.com) and whether I should go work with a fun company like
Vodafone or sign my life away to accountants at KPMG. I'm leaning
towards the personality drain and have decided it's a bit like being
a closet gay. Which I am. During the day, you go to work in your suit
and tie and at night, you start ripping it up with the nasty sh*t.
Anyway, enough of that. We all bumped our caps today...I was 2 over,
Dom was 5 and Simon 6. My $10 is going towards a new hat for
tomorrows comp at the Wake. And then I'm thinking of heading off to
Thailand to get some of that "I'm a rich bast*rd holiday feeling"
like Bill got last year.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 13/05/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Anyway, someone should have a word with Andy about hanging around car
parks in the dark on his own; still he looked pleased when I showed
up and with Chris's arrival full of birthday exuberance we were the
complete Dogging entourage. (ref. ukdoggers.com for appreciation of
the this humorous analogy)
Noticed a couple of shiny articles on the first, Chris with a new
Wilson Staff Hybrid, still with wrapping paper remnants on the shaft
(more internet references possible) and in Andy's bag (and again)! a
400cc Super Titanium Mega Blast Brosnan driver, hardly conspicuous!
As I sunk my ninth shot on the first I kind of wished I had something
new and shiny to ease the pain. We actually hit them pretty well;
both virgin clubs saw action and offered good initial dividend yield,
and we closed the account with a fair few pars between us.
The boys started spacking up at the end; I saw the window, dived
through and locked it behind me.
Steaks are out - new socks are the go, a nice pair Blazer, cotton
blend weekenders - thanks boys!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 06/05/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
It was the best of times, it was. bollocks to that!
Perfect weather and perfect temperature applied massive pressure to
our game, removing several perfectly good excuses for playing crap.
And that pressure took its toll from the first hole. Martyn went
straight, Chris went right, Bill went right, then left with the
provisional. I took a lucky bounce off the bank onto the fairway.
Bill dived into the bush to play his second, successfully wrestling an
immature (and childish) eucalyptus for control of the ball. The native
gave in and Bill was successfully back on the fairway. And looking
unshaken and dapper in his slacks.
Despite being a four-ball we were waved through on the second hole by
a slower three-ball. This is true, I swear.
On the third hole, the short par three, we had 3 balls on the green.
It was like watching the other PGA, then we started putting and the
allusion was broken.
On the next hole I took out my new (very old, borrowed) wood. It went
straight!
Martyn, who is obviously still getting over the loss of Betty, showed
the kind of form that is likely to see her returned to him on the
Spring Tour. Except, that is, for his MAGNIFICENT BIRD on the par
three seventh. A perfect drive saw him 12 cm from the pin. A solid
putt followed and he was in for two.
Another highlight of the day was the very solid driving skills
displayed by everyone in the group. Bill's driver was paying its way
and Chris was deft with the long irons. Our putting was the ying to
this yang. We stank.
By now you will have guessed that I took the 'cash'. Mmm, steak
sandwich.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 29/04/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
The tour lacked numbers today and also a conspicuous absence of the use
of Woods and Drivers. Andy was sporting a new Nike golf bag and I noticed
a few Nike balls too - obviously hoping to emulate that putt by Tiger!
No sign of The Burgular or Marty - with only 5 months till the next tour,
one Friday appearance a month will get you in! Did Bill hit the grog again
last night? No shows from all the (ex) Crowncastle's? Even Longmax stayed
away.
The highlights from this iron'tastic twosome. Front nine (par37), opening
hole. I got an early Par - nice start! Andy is close behind after being too
long from the tee. There was a strong warm breeze today from the land which
added to the interest on those Eastward facing Tees. A pair of average tee
shots on the 3rd saw us both playing off the chalk behind the duck pond.
I stuck my 3rd shot into the greenside water hazard and Andy found the green.
Andy found the treacherous out of bounds to the right off the 4th and we
both walked away with double Boags. Up to the par3 fifth and I managed to
land it on the green and sink the putt for Par. Andy recovered for an
excellent 4.
Both hit wayward tee shots off the 6th but the 7th was the killer with
missed opportunities on the approach and putting starting to hurt. On the
8th Andy found centre fairway, blitzed 2 more sweet irons to the green and
sunk his 2 putt - beautiful par!! Up to 9th, quick calculation of the Doors
Andy needed Eagle to win with me to score double Boags or worse - Pressure!
Andy drives long over the trees hits the green for 2 and is robbed by a putt
too long recovering for 5. I was up in 3, in for 5 and $5 richer. Sweet.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 22/04/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of
hextriplet bogies, it was the age of birdies, it was the epoch of
luck, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it
was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the
autumn of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before
us, we were all going direct to the green, we were all going direct
out-of-bounds - in short, the period was so far unlike the tour, that
some of its noisiest authorities (Bill, Martyn) insisted on its being
received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of
comparison only.
What the Dickens??!!?? Actually it was a lot simpler than that. Bill
scored 13 on one hole and a birdie on the next. Martin scored 10 on
one hole and about 7 or 8 on the rest. Jeff bounced his approach to
the 9th off the rocks (narrowly missing his target . Martyn's head)
and still dropped in for a par.
Martyn was in no-man's land, suffering equally from good and bad luck.
Shots that should have fired 50 metres beyond the mark somehow hit
tufts of grass and stopped near the hole. And cleverly crafted flick
shots out of the shrubbery worked beyond imagine. But there were also
the deep, dark woods and the marshy swamps throwing out a crippling
counter-balance.
My round was looking good until two 8's snapped me back to reality. I
got a bird so I don't care...
What about Dom, I hear you cry. Let's just say that the trophy for the
Spring Tour is wide open.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 15/04/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
With memories of Marty's laconic verse still ringing in our ears from
Saturday night a hardy group of 2 assembled at the Wake. I heard that
Dom was polishing his trophy and Jeff was staying in bed. Hopefully
not together - a nasty trend is occurring! Bill his taken his new
champion drinking trophy to another level and is now using Thursday
nights to ramp up for weekend binge. I checked the car park for the
Burgular & lost wannabees - may be next week.
So the 2 old trophy holders took to the fairways on the back 9. Martyn
was rock solid, hitting glorious 3 woods and long max special irons.
Reaching most of the greens in 3 shots and putting OK, the pair of us
were neck and neck most of the round. Martyn hit a glorious pitching
wedge onto the 4th missed the 2m putt but sunk a par, whilst I hit an
8 too long and struggled to get back for a bogey. I was rather pleased
to score nothing above a 6 for the whole round with 3 5's and a 4.
Walking down the middle of a fairway having a conversation was an
unusual feeling! I'm usually fossikking about in the trees and bushes.
I've got the $5 loot, just enough to purchase a cheese & salami
sandwich and a 4 shot reduction in my HC.
Lucky for Dom I saved this round for Friday and not last Sunday!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 08/04/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
..I can see clearly now the rain has gone....All obstacle is my way...etc etc.
Bill was in joyous mood as he sung his way into the car park. It rained all
night but the morning was glorious but so what, only birds and fruits would
worry about the weather. Talking of birds, if more people don't start
showing up on Friday mornings we might have to open it up to wives and
girlfriends, what do you reckon Crissy.
It didn't go unnoticed that, as Tiger And Phil teed it up at the hallowed
Augusta, half way round the world a slightly poorer but no less committed
couple of Poms did likewise at Veejays practice course (apparently he still
owes a fortune behind the bar). The prize money may be less and the crowds
slightly smaller (non existent in fact, except for some old geezer and his
Labrador taking the piss out of Bill's warm up routine) but the competitive
focus and desire to win are no less tangible.
Unlike Phil & Tiger we played like a couple of pissed bats and couldn't muster
a par between us, but before you, would be, Cup Holders start getting all big
in the chest you can just shut up because we were there and we enjoyed it and
we are in love. This is starting to sound like one of Simon's hilarious rants!
We played stroke and I won, we also played skins and I won. Bill wasn't far
behind though so have some respect and don't write him off, he's a sneaky
bast%&rd.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 01/04/2005
Written by: Bill Freeman
Twas a beau jeau that broke this morn.
Bright blue sky, golden sun on the dam and out to the horizon.... Maybe
I'm gay as well.
Nuff of that.
Andy, Dom, the International Man of Leisure (JB) and myself took up the
front nine challenge of dicing with potentially better caps just before
the tour, fortunately we played sh!thouse and ensured our handicaps
remained the about the same.
Dom drove up in his new bag, if you haven't yet seen it, its approximately
the size of a mini metro. JB started off the morning by grumbling about
the caps as usual, it wouldn't be the same without him.
I started out in fine form with a couple of pars to lead the charge, JB
tidily pared the 3rd before we all screwed up in a huge way by taking at
least 3 off the tee (some took 5) on the 4th.
This was the beginning of the end of any hope of a reasonable round.
Andy duffed his way into bunkers, out of them and back into them again.
Dom managed to get an 11 along with a couple of 7's but overall maintained
consistency whilst dragging around his `caravan' of a golf bag. JB played
well below his usual level, somewhat subdued I feel from a redundant pizza
/ beer fuelled lifestyle, probably coupled with late nights on the bong
playing Xbox till 3am. I sliced my way into trouble and chipped my way out
of it to come home just 1 shot ahead of JB for the cash.
A day of lost balls and laughs.
It went down like this;
Bill 53/41
Jeff 47/42
Dom 55/43
Andy 50 something for 40 something else
The handicaps are set.
The course is booked.
Polish your clubs.
We tour next weekend.
I love it.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 11/03/2005
Written by: Marc Chappell
Dear all,
Firstly I would like to start with a complaint, no one told me that it
was dark at 6.00am in the morning.
Anyway, after deciding that I would not go for the hole in one option
at home I rocked up to the Wake at 6.20 (still dark) to find a lonely
character hanging around the car park. The less known Booker...
Due to a ladies comp with we were forced onto the front nine. Both
started well with 2 good drives, Chris unfortunately ended up in the
bunker on his second shot so finished on a 7, I was very happy with my
6.
No major incidents on the round, Chris hit some great iron shots, my
putting was the best I've even seen, with 2 putts on every hole.
We both lost balls, but it is the Wake after all.
Chris finished above his handicap, while I was 5 under mine. (Normally
49 down to 45) Heading towards the dizzy heights for 36 ready for the
tour.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 04/03/2005
Written by: Jeff Brunka
Bit dark this morning as we tee-d off on the 10th hole and it seems that winter
golf will be upon us soon. Dom's already been asking for a special argyle
sweater vest for his big Birthday next week in anticipation of the latest
winter golfing fashions.
Wells, Booker and LongMax had given up on me and Si by 6:25 and were already
teeing off as I approached the box. McFadden paid his fees and not able to see
us in the dark, came scurrying around the corner like an abandoned child and
thought we'd all gone on without him. Off went the 3 Poms and we fulfilled our
promise of nipping at their heels for most of the round. We both hit
provisionals on the 10th as we couldn't see our first shots and out came the
pink Top Flite from Tom's bag.
Simon's new deluxe multi-cup 35-foot corrugated putting matt which has been
firmly planted in his dinning room since Monday, paid dividends on the first
hole with a nice two-foot one putt for par. Unfortunately we would not see
any of that skill repeated with several spastic 3 putts over the next 8 holes.
Simon hit his Dunlop cart bag on the 11th and barely cleared the ladies and
I managed to drop a birdie putt on my most hated hole.
Couldn't see much of the boy's play in front of us but we did get a miserable
view of Dom's dirty bung on the 13th tee. While Chrissy relapsed into cryogenic
hypnosis, Dom had time to drop his strides, show us his crack and climb in the
bushes for a quick wank. Unfortunate for him was not knowing that the Wakehurst
operations manager was driving up the 14th and it's unclear whether he saw this
nasty display of golfing immaturity. For the sake of your club status, you may
want to formally apologise - we'll leave that call to you.
Can't comment on much else cause nothing really funny happened. Its actually
quite boring playing with Simon and I will attempt to arrive earlier next
Friday.
Am now realizing that this report is providing little humour and is going
nowhere so before I start reliving the 10th hole and ranting about water
retaining haggis shoes, I'll quickly wrap things up.
I took the cash with Dom and Martyn tied for second. I'm now $20 richer than
this morning or in Simon's f*cked up world, $25 because I saved another $5 had
I lost the round.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 18/02/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
Martyn & Chris spazed up their first shots, which made getting the
preferable 2 stableford points on the 10th a big mountain to climb.
We limped off with Andy making a spectacular start - Give that man a
Cleveland Launcher and send him down to runway one at Sydney Airport,
I swear the 760m longest drive record would be beat in no time. A
record that was never under threat was 'speed golf' with a six ball
consisting of 4 over 60's, a blind geezer being led round on a piece
of string and a dog that was limping due to a wayward T shot from
Chris where snapping at our heels. One less practice swing would
hopefully get us all to work before the 11 o'clock lemon Tea and
Uncle Toby's break.
I digress - Andy called up Mulder & Skully on the16th to investigate
the bizarre loss of a new Precept and I started to find the grove
with the driver, Martyn had quietly steadied his round and on the
18th there was one point in it between Martyn & I, eyeing of the cash
and one point between Chris and Andy both hoping to avoid the spoon.
An average finish by all resulted in a one stableford point win to me
- but I think all the caps went up, the tour is just around the
corner after all!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 11/02/2005
Written by: Jeff Brunka
The 10th went well with 3 boags, although Bill's 4 foot birdie putt
after a fantastic drop-n-stop approach shot lead to a upsetting
3-putt bogie which haunted him for the remaining 8 holes. All was
looking good on the 11th until Bill, once again, jeopardized our
membership status by hitting the greenkeeper. In all fairness he
did call Bill up to hit onto the green, but unfortunately lost sight
of the ball until it loudly ricocheted off his mower and missed his
head by an inch. Of course he couldn't hear my delayed and insincere
"Four" call with his ear mufflers on and carried on in true Aussie
agro fashion yelling at Bill that he "could have f*cking waived or
something MATE, you f*cking c*nt", which only added to our laughter
at this point. Well done Bill.
All in all, it was pretty solid play for the next couple of holes.
Dom's frequent four putt on the 16th nearly won him a free toaster
- one more lip-out putt and Lisa would have been screaming with joy
over the shiny new Sunbeam for the kitchen. My slam-dunk chip on this
hole for birdie, coupled with frantic wedge cleansing on Dom's towel
only provoked more verbal abuse from an already grumpy Wells.
3 boags on 17 and the doors were tallied, with Dom at 34, Bill 31 and
me 29. Both Poms got off the 18th tee clean and as I shanked my ball
left into the trees, I couldn't help but notice Dom's yellow grin. A
window of opportunity had been opened for Bill and Dom immediately
and happily started the 5 minute search stop-watch as I began
the rummaging. Precept found, that window was quickly shut with a
punch out and 6 iron onto the green, two-putt for bogie. Dom was on
in 2 and two-putted, for once, for a par - nice one. Nerves of steel
Bill, was on the fringe, hit a beauty chip and also sunk the putt for
par.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 04/02/2005
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Japan was off the front so we headed for the back.
After a bit of a wait Dom, Andrew and myself headed off with the first ever
audience. Andrew's Dad was slow with the applause, but after some prompting
he got right in to it.
Not much to talk of due to very consistent play. Lots of straight drives and
approach shots. Very crowd pleasing.
One point to note was the speed of play. 1hour 50mins. Plenty of time for a
spray on shower and make your 9am meeting.
I shot 47, only 3 off the course record. Consistent play from the other two
with 52 each. Brings my cap down to 31 and only slightly pushing Dom and
Andrew's up by 0.1.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 28/01/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
I was there, on my own and I won the cash!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 21/01/2005
Written by: Andrew Hill
What a cracking day for surfers and golfers alike. With near perfect 4
footer waves rolling onto nearby beaches we teed off down the first at
Wakehurst into the rising sun. Longmax and Bernhard led off as a
two-ball with perfect drives. These two young 'uns then set a
blistering pace around the course and were not seen again by the
trailing three-ball of Chris, Bill and myself (apart from a cameo
appearance by Martyn who suddenly appeared on the 4th green to
retrieve his forgotten wedge).
Reports from their game reveal an outback-like adventure for Martyn on
the seventh ending with a lost ball in a billabong. Bernhard
reportedly had torrid time extracting himself and the ball from a
creek on the 9th, taking an embarrassing number of strokes to finally
leave the area.
Bill's play was a tale of two cities: brilliant with any club above a
5-iron, rubbish with anything below. His superlative play around and
on the greens was a pleasure to watch. Chris played some outstanding
golf but suffered from some pure bad luck with many great putts just
hovering around the lip without dropping.
I started the day with some poor golf, but salvaged the round with a
couple of pars â~@~S enough to take the cake. Snapping the head off my
6-iron was the low-pointâ~@¦
Thanks for a great morning, gents. And well done on a punctual start
and a fast round that finished at about 8:15.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 14/01/2005
Written by: Chris Booker
What a fantastic morning for golf! How hot was that out there
and I only suffered from the Wakehurst flies once.
New Blood - welcome to Michael and Bernhard who joined the tour
today for their first outings. We hope you enjoyed the experience.
Will we see you again?
I'd like to concur with an earlier mail from Dom about Tee off
times as it seems we are getting a bit late in finishing. Please
can we start earlier next week?
Spectacular opening tee off's from Simon (new club I believe?)
& Dom on the 10th, playing with Longmax & Bernhard. "Hit them
straight and they go further" worked again. That was the last
we saw of you guys but the Doors show some solid golf from Martyn
who appears to have birdied the 15th Par 5! Dom pared the 11th
( par 4) and Bernhard stamped his arrival on the scene with a
Par on the 15th too - Great golf guys. Simon allegedly mis-used
a Driver on the 14th failing to pass the ladies tee - much
snickering could be heard by the Kookaburra's!
The rear group made up of Michael, Andrew and I. Andy played his
usual solid iron round, playing some huge long 2nd shots to close
to the greens lay-ups. Personally I started off with a tragic 9
having lost my opening ball - not the start I was hoping for!
The round improved after that with a highlight birdie on the 16th
par 3 giving a net zero on the Doors! The 5 iron was having a big
day off the tee. The $25 prize money was most welcome but fails
to pay for my round and subsequent taxi ride to work!
Now with the new handicaps rules for 2005 in place, adjustments
of .5 for every shot under HC played, I lose 7 shots today.
Martyn has .5 deducted the rest of you are adding .1 to last
weeks scores - although I don't have Simon's card yet.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 07/01/2005
Written by: Dominic Wells
"Don't watch me" (said in a female oriental accent) was the opening
line, presuming she meant her swing as there wasn't much chance of
six young lads eying up the pastel pink oversized VPL. The same line
would be appropriate for Longmax's 12 put on the 16th or Ohio's 24
shots on the 18, but more of that later.
It's hard to write up on the team behind but safe to say they all
played cr*p and extremely slowly, in fact if any of them had been in
contention the two shot penalty for hideously slow play would surely
exempt them getting Friday's free lunch.
The speedy three where going along nicely with some nice Tee irons
from Longmax and the usual consistency from Ohio, I played sensibly
within the confines of my cap enabling me to tie with the Big Man on
the 18th, we kicked back and watched Ohio rummaging in the bushes for
some new TopFlights to add to his ball cellar (similar to a wine
cellar but with more passion and care required than any dozen of
Vintage Penfolds Grange).
So we went to the put off in front of the gallery and a couple of
young hoods hanging in their Crib, my offering was nudging the hole,
as they say, which pretty much broke the moral and any hope of
Longmax fighting back.
I took the cash and have now paid my dues to the assertive PGA
Banker.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 24/12/2004
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Four big hitters turned up to the Wake this morning and headed to the 10th
tee.
A mixture of good and bad drives and fairway shots for the first couple of
holes.
The classic long iron shots came back in to play on the 13th and I found my
self by the green with a solid 6 iron. Chris managed to chip in to the
bunker and his 2nd sand shot got him a couple of feet from the pin.
Ronnie made the 10th fairway from the 13th tee and then had a bit of a
chipping session across the green. Andrew managed to lodge his ball in some
deep rough to the side of the green and unfortunately had taken his spade
out of his bag that morning. Both myself and Chris showed the other two how
it's done and made the green and a couple of putts for par.
Andrew's 3 iron drives were superb, he made the green in 2 on the 17th and
then by the green in 2 on the 18th. Unfortunately some scrappy putting
denied him a par on both holes.
Chris played off a 36 handicap, a good move for his game and it showed as he
played to it.
See you all back on the circuit early next year!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 17/12/2004
Written by: Bill Freeman
Write up my ar$e !! I hear you shout.
Or not.
A good turnout this morning (including my sheepish self)
to make up a cosy 3 and a 2 ball.Simon was late but quite
jolly as he hadn't read the nasty nick naming emails yet.
We headed to the back nine, JB pulled the tees as we
divided up the 5 of us and Martyn and Andy headed away in
a leading 2 ball. Martyn hit the trees about 8m off to
the right of the tee box due to `gallery pressure' but
Andy positioned himself nicely in the centre of the
fairway. That was really the last we saw of the IT Dept
for 7 holes or so.
JB nailed a solid drive up the 1st, Simon came through
the woods to land comfortably in the rough and I lost my
ball in the trees. 3 off the tee for me, and we were away.
We played the whites and made the most of the extra
distance, Simon's putting came together after a few holes
of putting on to the next fairway (`next shoutable'
offence) although his short game with irons was high
class. He deserved the nearest the pin prize with a solid
140m shot to within 5m from way up in the clouds.
Jeff's experience on the course shone through and his
long hitting usually paid dividends. When in trouble he
consistently got himself out of trouble and always 1 or
2 putted to play very close to his handicap.
I had a pretty good round with a couple of sevens to make
an aggressive charge to the finish. I had to remind myself
every now and again to stop trying to hit the skin off the
ball and it usually afforded me a good shot.
When we all fired up the 18 the scores were tight , Jeff
was long and right, followed up by an excellent 100m chip
shot to the lip of the green. Simon was straight down the
guts followed up by a solid iron to 15m below the green
and I was on the fairway to then take a 4 iron to 5m off
the right of the green. Jeff putted, putted again and
then duffed a cocky tap in to `oohs' and `aahs' from the
waiting gallery (Martyn and Andy). Simon played a pro'
iron shot to within 2m from the pin to much applause
then putted for a while. I chipped and 2 putted for a 5
which left me with the coin by a shot.
A tight race. `The doors' are obviously still doing their
job and keeping a level playing field amongst us, thus
making the higher handicappers who have a blinding round
the ones to watch when we tour.
3.5 months till Liverslide Pokes.
Direct link to this report
Report: Monday 13/12/2004
Written by: Martyn Lomax
**** Special pre tour report ****
We were met by glorious sun-shine at a very quiet Riverside Oaks
yesterday. After a quick tour of the shop and facilities we headed
out to the practice range and chipped a few balls, most better than
the selection we had in our bags.
Bill and Neil charged ahead with confident driving. I shot a PAR on
the 1st, with a couple of boags from Marc and Chris.
Play was interrupted briefly when the heavens opened as we made our
way down the 6th. We took shelter and discussed, amongst other
things, play so far and the trolley dolly we met on the 5th.
The two groups met up for a bit of messy play on the 10th and then
decided to go our separate ways again.
Apart from a fluke where I managed to get by the green in two 5
iron shots on a PAR 5 there wasn't much to talk of the back 9. Just
more very consistent play with plenty of greens being hit from
approach shots.
Here are how the scores went (PAR 73):
Chris: 100 (+27)
Marc: 118 (+45)
Neil: 96 (+23)
Bill: 103 (+30)
Martyn: 94 (+21)
I look forward to seeing you all there for the real thing next year.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 03/12/2004
Written by: Chris Booker
The morning started badly when a sleepy Bill phones in to cry off
the morning round. Still being super keen I jump in the Subaru and
meet the other eager PGA'ers at the old Friday venue. Royal
Chatswood - I've not been here for a while. Far too many notable
absentee's to mention as Simon guided his opening tee short down
the centre of the first fairway. It was around this time that I
invented a new shot - the sideways slice. Which I used periodically
throughout the round to keep my score -ticking along!
Dom played his usual solid round and true to form got his par on the
9th. Simon sunk a beauty of a putt on the 4th to score a par which
gave him a negative net score - nice work. I sunk a par putt on the
6th after hitting a straight tee shot onto the green. Amazing the
difference hitting them straight can make. Haven't I heard that
somewhere before.....
I did my best to blow my winning chances on the 8th and 9th but
had just done enough mid round to scramble home with 52 net 30.
Thanks for the tenner lads! I think I heard a grumble about the
extortionate green fees at The Royal.
More interesting matters resume Saturday with the PGA dinner and
dance. Wannabee's and members are requested to arrive in seasonal
dress at the Oaks from 6.30pm - late arrivals may incur on the
spot fines which will be added to the whip.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 26/11/2004
Written by: Andrew Hill
I'm not sure if a Wannabe is allowed to take the piss out of full
members without jeopardising his membership review, but here goes anyway...
What a glorious morning! Warm sunshine, no clouds or wind and an early
morning mist lifting off the dam greeted us as we teed off down the
first. Martyn, looking resplendent in an olive-green outfit, led the
pack (of three) down the fairway with a straight, if somewhat
distance-challenged, drive. The rest of the pack followed with a
similar degree of success - these first three shots were an indication
of what was to follow.
Dom, who produced some magnificent drives, occasionally suffered at
the hands of the long grass. This paled in comparison with the trouble
Martyn was having with the water. Strange magnetic forces emitting
from the various aquatic hazards sucked in 4 of his balls during the
round. Three of these balls were swallowed up by one waterhole. This
appeared to appease the god of the pond.
Despite a fairly consistent 3-putt strategy around the course, Andrew,
wearing only free clothes from various software and hardware vendors,
managed to scrape home without any major disasters and claim the day!
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 19/11/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
I smashed the course record! LONG LIVE THE COURSE RECORD!
A sticky morning with flies, I don't particularly mind flies but when they crawl
inside your ears or in Chris's case down your throat it does get on your tits.
The golf was fun Martyn and I fired more wayward balls than a blind Thai whore and
Chrissy, spazed early with a ten at the first but managed to control his emotions to
regain consistency
The Wake is definitely a challenging course and a quick count up on the ninth put
Martyn in 3rd place with Chris and me tying with Net 37's. The put-off was a
disappointing affair with 3 puts a piece so we moved to nearest the pin, I rolled to
within half a metre which Chris couldn't quite match ...the sausage was mine!
Chris is on the Asian Pro Am tour next week so he's out but hopefully sees the rest
of you soon.
Direct link to this report
Report: Monday 15/11/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
Bill made it to the right venue. Got there at 5:30am just in case, no parents,
mum is in dillusional son and duck therapy.
Weak-boy McFadden shaved, showered and laid out his clothes the night before,
but got wrapped up in the Apprentice and didn't wake up till 6:10am. "Sleeping
in" text to the Treasurer will not go down well at initiation night. Clearly
skating on thin ice prior to membership approval. In fact, we might need to
card this one as Provisional for a while.
Dom is now sponsored by Hutch 3 after winning their corporate 4 ball scramble
at the Royal yesterday. Found him waving his new trophy (now on his desk), a
spiffy white umbrella and a swank "3" hat in the parking lot this morning. Big
change from the Dynaflex, junior 7 iron, Brosnan hitting golfer from 6 months
ago.
Successfully rated our favorites birds from Apprentice 2 on the 4th fairway -
short-haired power b*tch and blonde fake hooters taking the lead.
Bit rusty for Bill, but otherwise a solid round. Dom and I shot 1 and 3 under
handicap respectively.
Dom four-putted the 2nd, nice one, and I three-putted the 5th thanks to my
ball hitting his spacky Callaway, thick as a pokerchip, love-present from
Simon, ballmarker. Slut.
By the 7th, Bill slowly deteriorated into a hissing, fly-swatting, limp
golfer. Tried to retrieve his 6th lost ball from the gaping jaws of the Wake
and took a spill down slippery wooden stairs, leaving a deep gash in his right
shin. Threatened to sue me and Dom as club members and continued to tell us
about the "f*cking c*nt b*stard" who hit him with a ball on the 9th, some
years ago. Its over mate, let it go.
Wrapped up on the 9th, with a couple of James and a par. Bill's thinking of
ways to justify a membership with the governor this weekend, following his
blow-out, $14k house rental, "you like Thai massage?", Tag H. buying holiday
to Phuket. Shit beatch.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 12/11/2004
Written by: Chris Booker
Good to see a large turn out on The Tour on a glorious morning at the Wake. With 6 PGA'ers including wannabee winner Andy, in attendance the group split into 2 parties so I can only report my observations from the front 3. Long Iron made a welcome return after an injury lay-off. A spectacular tee-shot and follow up chip onto the green for par on the first made it look like he'd never been away! The temporary 2nd made putting interesting. A few grumbles from the lead group as the big hitting Wakehurst members played up from the tees on the 3rd whilst we chipped to the green for some reasonable scores on the first of several longer holes.
Bill hit a tremendous tee shot over the short par3 5th and sunk the putt -
congratulations on a well deserved birdie! A succession of 2 putts was keeping my score down following a couple of dodgy tee-shots around the 4th - 6th holes. Martyn played for the waste bin on the 8th and narrowly missed a direct entry and then proceeded to hit some monster long irons top make up lost ground.
With the rear group pressing for home the front 3 finished strongly with a smile and a par for myself. After the doors were totaled up I took the $25 prize shooting a gross 52 the first time under HC 36 for many moons. The new MacGregor Irons are starting to pay dividends.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 05/11/2004
Written by: Bill Freeman
Just for the record, me and the B'ralis braved the rain.
His swing is streets ahead of mine at the moment, new clubs and a few
lessons have been a wise investment.
I lost the first ball off of the first 4 tees and proceeded to top and
slice my way round an almost empty Wakey.
Bugger what we scored but we had a good time.
Hope to see you out there when the weather suits you.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 08/10/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
A nice change from last Friday's soggy event, with the sun rising over Manly
dam and a full team of 6 at today's venue - Wakehurst. The much anticipated
return of the Hamster to the Friday morning circuit was foiled with poor
reading skills taking Bill to the Royal for a 6:30 start with his
parents. Rumours were afloat of a happy British family cruising down Boundary
Road in a VW golf; an eager son telling his mum and dad of all his good
golfing buddies that just weren't there. Unfortunate for the jet-lagged
visitors to relive their son's claims of imaginary school friends. Sorry about
that one Bill.
Long Iron, Booker, Wells, Wendell, Capetown and Ohio and set off in the back
nine in 2 threesomes and finished within 2 hours. Don't have many highlights
with the groups split but it looks like we all scored pretty average. Dom
drained a fringe birdie putt on the par 3 13th, Martyn disappointedly stated
that he lost a ball on every hole, I took the cash and it was recently
reported that the B Grades (Chrisy, Martyn and Wendel) tee-d off from the
ladies on the 17th. Bout as embarrassing as playing with women's clubs.
Direct link to this report
Report: Friday 01/10/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
By: Simon McFadden
I picked up the Scot, Alan Bennett on the way to the course in the rain.
Discussion was had about the likelihood of rain in Chatswood. A positive tack
was taken, presuming the rain would miss Chatswood. We hit the carpark at
6.10am to find an eager Ohio in his car.
Ohio and I had wet gear but Bennett soldiered round in shorts and a t-shirt.
As it was wet, he decided not to wear his golf shoes and went with the runners
option.
A brief highlight was when Ohio's umbrella turned inside out to much
"facking umbrella" quotes on the 3rd tee, and again on the 8th
green.
After a slippy (particularly for Bennett in his runners), wet 9 holes, we
noticed that not even the ducks were out this morning.
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Report: Friday 24/09/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
By: Simon McFadden
We hit off early with a foursome of Wells, Long Iron, Ohio and my good self. Two
were chasing the green, with two fumbling round in the rough.
The first two holes were tough, then into the par 3.s, which were going swimmingly
until we heard a small bleating noise. No notice was paid.
As time went on, the bleating increased in volume to the point where we could
vaguely hear some whinging ...oooh..my back hurts...
Thinking nothing of it, we soldiered on to the 8th tee. After a slice into the
river, Wells. bag was rummaged through. We left the 8th tee littered with any Top
Flite balls that were in his bag. He has vowed never to use a Top Flite again.
Then, we went through the long par 5 with many balls lost, a fair bit of swearing
and a couple of disembowelled ducks. Martyn almost disembowelled a tree . but
holed out in style.
Then, onto the 9th, counting the scores after a fair bit of abuse from Wells and
Ohio, McFadden declared he was 44 gross, which with a high handicap gives a solid
chance of walking away with the money.
Suddenly the BLEATING INCREASED IN VOLUME AGAIN. Dom declared he wasn't playing
for money; his back hurt, he didn't have a trick shot in him and that he
should've stayed in bed.
That said, he was significantly happier on the 9th green as McFadden stumbled up
with a grimacing 9 shot total.
The takings (it must be said that Dom did fork out in the end) were split between
Long Iron, for the second week running, and McFadden, 50/50.
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Report: Friday 17/09/2004
Written by: Martyn Lomax
Big news today with the return of a new and improved Wendel along with a well
tooled up return for Ohio.
Dad, I mean Dom, passed around the tees in a bucket of sand to decide the teams.
Dom, Ohio and myself went off first with Wendel and the two guests (Simon and
Jackie) hot on our heals.
Simon being only two games away from getting a spot on the doors played well,
ending only 2 points away from the leaders. Dom managed a 10 on a par 3 for the
2nd week running, thankfully he got some dignity back by playing the lob wedge
trick shot on the 9th.
Ohio needed to one putt and for me to 5 putt on the 9th to take the coin,
fortunately he still hasn't tamed the new hardware.
Wendel played well below his cap and drops to 48.5. With only 15 Fridays to go
before the end of the year the goal of being down to 36 is a bit ambitious. But
with any luck he'll be on target for the next tour.
With no time for a putt off Wendel and myself split the winnings (both on 31 net)
and due to my slack behavior with the write up last week I got the honours again.
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Report: Friday 06/08/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
Not much of a write up this morning due to a recent b*tch-slap from the
boss, but I can reveal that we had a fabulous round this morning. Course
was empty, sun was coming up over the green fairways and the blue water
of Manly was not far off in the distance. Everybody was focused and
trying to stay within their own game and for the most part, we were
successful. Booker has found new love with his 3-wood which sees him
out-driving me and Dom and sending it right down the pipes. Watch this up
and coming kid. Dom's calm poise prevailed throughout the game until the
black mambo let him down on the final 2 holes - held him back from a
solid 9 hole score. He still hit every fairway off the tees and finished
with the same ball on a course that's notorious for sucking more balls
than a two-dollar hooker. I too had some odd scoring with a bird,
quadruple bogey and an eagle on three consecutive holes. Nevertheless, we
finished like gentlemen and our professional etiquette allowed us to play
within 2 hours. Playing in groups of 2's or 3's allows you to get through
the lengthy back nine in good time and hitting those long par 4's and 5's
only sharpens your game. I can see more visits to the Wake in the near
future and for those that couldn't make it this morning, you should look
forward to the next event.
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Report: Friday 16/07/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
It was a pretty uneventful round today until we headed into the final
hole and the scores were tallied up. You could barely see through the
crack in the doors with Martyn on 26, Jeff 27 and Chris and Dom on 28 and
1, 0, 1, and 2 handicap strokes respectively to be gained on
the 9th. Flashback 8 holes and you find us all heading up the 1st with
frozen feet, questioning our dedication to the evil game of golf. There
was little special or stupid about the first 3 holes and it wasn't until
the 4th that the long irons, lemons and 3 woods sharpened up to keep us
all dry for the first time in many weeks. A couple pars, boges and
doubles later, Dom's lack of getting laid started to show through with
some cranky 1-on-1 talks with most of us about the etiquette of golf and
how to play the game. Unmoved and unperturbed, we told him to shove it up
his arse and forged ahead with solid play. At the very least, getting
this load of his shoulder allowed Dom to refocus and finish the final 4
holes in good form and the new clubs are definitely starting to make an
impact on his game. Speaking of improved play, weeks of consistent Friday
mornings, visits to the range, lessons and some hole in ones at
chip-n-putt are starting to pay off for Chris and Martyn with
well-rounded performances and dropping handicaps.
Anyway, back to the 9th tee box. The game faces were on and everyone got
off the tee in good form. Booker to the bunker, Martyn and Dom to the
left side of the green and I was on the dance floor in 2. Martyn chips on
and 2 putts to finish with a James, I hit the 12 footer for a bird and
Dom and Chris level out with a 5 and 6. Dom 32, Chris 31 and Martyn and I
tied at net 30 - with the foursome behind us nipping at our heels, we had
a quick shoot-out on the 9th and I took the cash. A good competitive
finish to the round.
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Report: Friday 09/07/2004
Written by: Chris Booker
Another dark and chilly morning found the usual suspects at the Royal Chatswood
1st. Dom was sporting a new set of TaylorMade clubs mixed in with a few of the old favourites. Opening shots in the dark were a little messy with Ohio finding
fairway 2 and then the trees and Martyn having some early luck with a ricochet
from the left trees to right of fairway. Down the 2nd Martyn struggled after a
water splash for a messy nine, Ohio & Booker found some beach to play with & Dom
was already cursing his new clubs. Martyn found the green with a super tee shot of the 3rd sinking his putt for a fine par. On the 4th Dom was already into emergency action and pulled out the new Rescue Club for a fine stroke which him on the green from the tee. At 5 the right hand side was popular, although Ohio was now into gear and almost sunk a Bird - not quite.
On to the 6th, my nemesis, a fortunate shot & good use of Jeff's leg saving a
costly hole for Booker! Dom and Martyn lacked length & will doubtless reassess
club selection for next week, Ohio hit a fine wedge. Onto the 7th and Dom was
getting ready to throw his clubs which was compounded with an unusual tee-shot
from the 8th back to the players on the 7th! Ohio was also in reverse gear,
choosing to play down the 7th & 6th fairways rather than use the lush grass on the 8th. I found the drink with an under hit wedge approaching the 8th and followed up with a shocking 4 putt to blow out into double figures.
Ohio and Dom had blown their chances of taking the loot leaving Booker and Martyn to fight it out on the 9th with a quick burst of rain to speed up play. The 10th fairway was a popular place for landing tee shots and Dom followed up with some very messy beach play. Booker & Martyn found the green & were putting for the $$$ a 3 putt from me and a 2 putt from Martyn (48) left the doors level and the hefty $10 prize money split. With a 2004 PB from Booker - 52.
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Report: Friday 02/07/2004
Written by: Jeff Brunka
6:40 am saw the start of the comp this morning with Booker, Brunka, Wells and
Lomax hitting the first tee with frozen extremities. It was a cold 7 degrees
tucked down in the Royal valley and the Kookaburrow's were all laughing when
Chris optimistically rocked up in a pair of shorts. The first three holes were
pretty average with several single, double and triple James recorded, along with
Chris' strategic mental move to pick-up on number 2 to re-collect himself for
the rest of the round. This was followed by a slippery wipe out that saw him
ass-ski down to the 3rd tee-off box in good form. All cleared the water on three
and we finished with 3 doubles and a par. Armed with our long irons, we
approached the 4th only to find the sprinklers spraying in full force. With a
bit of graceful timing most of us managed to dodge the 5 streams of icy water,
until a moment of distraction saw Chris get his second shower of the early morn.
Not to fret, Booker quickly recovered on number 5 with a solid wedge shot and a
1-putt to par out, but Martyn started looking for the sun with some messy beach
play. Number 6 saw several attempts to hit the green and after a questionable
decision to move my ball from a puddle on the green, a 'Get in the Hole' shout
pushed the Callaway 0 that extra inch to nail the birdie putt. Dom's soft touch
around the green secured the par. Lomax and I were gunning for the stoned
teenage greenkeepers on number 8 with two long drives and as we walked down the
8th fairway, Wells had a revelation that will surely save us strokes in the
future..."They go further when you hit em straight, don't they?".
The round finished well for everyone with Dom taking the par on the 9th,
followed by 2 James and a double. Ohio won the pot with Dom and Martyn two
strokes behind and Booker would have most likely snuck in had things gone
differently on number 2.
Bill, sad not to see you out 2 weeks in a row, but hope the hip, hamstring or
whatever is healing well. Wendell, empty promises on Tuesday night might get
you laid but it won't save you any strokes on the course.
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Report: Friday 18/06/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
Was it the rain or were achillis heels really strained? Who knows but a
smaller than normal team assembled on the first. Chrissy sported a new look
and generally all round impressive swing, a pleasure to watch. Jeff and I
pared the first and looked set for a competitive round (Based on caps of course).
The long holes got the better of The Boy Booker and even Ohio lost his rag on
the extra long par 5, 8th. I lost a couple of Noodles in the drink but still
managed to declare a hard to beat net on the ninth. This focused the
challengers and after a couple of spacky shots Chris finished in style with a
long 8 iron onto the green and a 1 put to finish. Ohio ,with a side bet
running, birded the last and held his head high, while I, after declaring to be
the best putter in the World, 3 putted and finished on a double James, enough
to claim the coin. (You gotta love the Caps).
Last chance next week to get your Q2 Cap in order.
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Report: Friday 11/06/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
"I hit it smooth and it just felt good!" was Martyn's exclamation as he
birdied the par 5 8th..the boy is good and getting better.
Not to be outdone, the Orange Tee Team knocked up couple birds (as you
do) with Ohio and South African Pom Andrew slotting one each. Chris's
lesson payed dividens with a solid round and recent best score of 53.
The Coloured Tees did alright with Bill & I getting are scores to head in
the right direction. Martyn has to be congratulated for now achieving a
real handicap of 34, no more prize money for him then, we will see.
Looking forward to the big event tonight and the opportunity to invent
even more complicated rules and iron out a few handicap inconsistencies.
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Report: Friday 04/06/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
Bill has payed his penance for being an unorganised hamster worrier and
graciously chose to play 2 really bad shots on every hole, just to make
the point that he could play if he wanted to he birdied the 9th. Martyn
came out of the traps fighting and slotted a par and two Jame's on the
first three holes, like all genius's he has his flaws and peaked and
troughed throughout the remainder of the round (Tab tip: watch this man,
he has a great swing and will mature into a formidable all rounder). I
did Ok and managed to patch up my relationship with my driver by the last
two holes. The Ohio kid was the man of the moment, consistently hitting
pars (6) a couple of James and a gutsy bird on the par 5 8th. Jeff shot
an unofficial 35 which ain't too sad, the course record is shaking in its
boots with only a few votes and a vindaloo in the way of seeing a new
record being set.
Martyn played his handicap (36) well and ended tying with Jeff, with no
time for a put-off they split the cash, ruefully watched by past PGA
hero's.
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Report: Friday 28/05/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
How are you supposed to hit a tiny ball 200m when it's dark, your hands
are freezing and half an hour ago you where asleep, well it didn't seem
to bother the Ohio Cowboy who rattled the PGAers with a course record
equaliser if 37 off the back nine.
Bill and I had an average round with Bill's new grip giving some worries
and a major business deal doing down on the 15th putting him off his
game. I'm still struggling with my drives and may soon have to concede
$99 is simply not a big enough investment for fundamental equipment in
the great game.
I would like to point out Jeff has now committed to three winter starts
in a row and although not essentially a pom he's alright for a yank and
definitely not a Wallaby supporter, therefore I would like to nominate
him as an associate member (entitled to appear on the doors, come to the
AGM, have limited voting rights and be invited on future tours) ..What
say you all?
Bring on the Clove.
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Report: Friday 21/05/2004
Written by: Bill Freeman
There was a rare sighting on the 1st..
WENDAL!
Yup, in all his glory. The septic was also back for more and we joined by a
diddly on the 2nd to make up a 4 ball.
I played bloody well, even if I say so myself and was on 34 as I teed off on
the 9th only to bugger it all up and hit 8 for 42. Mark played consistently
and should have scored better than his 55 but managed to 4 putt a few.
He's been out on Balgowlah apparently making sure the "Horizons" trip doesn't
send him home with the same trophy.
All in all, a pleasant mornings golf the only thing missing was most of
the PGA!
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Report: Friday 14/05/2004
Written by: Bill Freeman
Well well well.
An interesting round this morning at the Glorious Royal Chatswood.
A chilly morn greeted Long Iron (in rather unwisely chosen shorts) and Lemon (in
polar expedition equipment) as we headed off from the 1st tee in similar
embarrassing style we managed to drive just beyond the ladies tee. Double boges
for us both on Hole 1.
Hole 2, we were joined by Geoff (nice chap - a septic from Crown Castle) I hit
the tree and Martyn drove straight as a die down the middle to land a good 30m
beyond the devilish bunker on the right, he proceeded to play the rest of the
hole well for bogey while I struck out with a 9.
Hole 3, Geoff stepped up and nailed a good shot for the fringe, Martyn stepped up
and nailed a duck from 2 metres. When I say nailed, I mean nailed! The duck took
it in true Walt Disney fashion, feathers everywhere and keeled over legs in the
air. Whilst we all grimaced and felt sick, I thought it best to make sure Donald
had actually passed over to the other golf course in the sky. He was on his way
but my 5 iron and a good neck twist ensured there was no more pain. He was then
deposited in the bin for the green keepers supper.
Martyn sickened at his own misfortune stepped up to plonk the ball 4 m from the
pin where he proceeded to 3 putt for a 4.
We played the other holes but with the dead duck incident, none came close on
drama.
There were a few notable points, Martyn almost chipped in from the upstairs on
the rock at the 6th, the 7th was shortened to about 50m with a green like a
compost heap which was really quite naff of the course management team and I
parred the 8th.
Final tally was 45 for me 49 for Martyn and Geoff came home with 38.
Hopefully Martyns handicap will get below the 4.2 million mark soon so I can stop handing him cash even when he nearly beats me off the stick!
Dom we need a new graph, Martyn really did get a birdy.
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Report: Friday 02/04/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
A new record has been set, you can keep your lowest score, number of
pars and nearest the pin ..we are talking speed, it was all over in
an hour and a quarter. Now it's not all about speed but a quick game
is a good game and this one had all the ingredients, except for pars
(there was only one).
Only Martin and I graced the 1st Tee and we set off for a satisfying
round of steady golf, no major drama's or remarkable shots. We had a
laugh at Billy No Mates who we waved through three times only to see
him spaz his shots every time.
Martyn got 54/36 and I got 42/30 so we where pretty happy with that.
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Report: Friday 26/03/2004
Written by: Chris Booker
No sign of Cafe2U, but I hear Wendal was unable to make today's tee
off due to organizational issues with the sponsors for the next PGA
event. Hopefully these contractual issues will soon be resolved.
Bill the Lemon, stepped up with a non citrus fruit club, and whacked
his opening shot down fairway 1 - a cracking start. Martyn was
playing with his usual steady stroke but lack of short irons was to
cost him dear over the front 9 holes - that and a 12 on hole 2. The
usual mix of wet greens and sun dried patches causing havoc with
putting. Another woeful attempt to depart from the 1st tee finally
removed any chances I had of taking the huge prize monies from the
final Summer PGA event of the season.
As the morning mist rose from the infamous Chatswood water hazards,
Booker managed to pull a few straight shots out the bag, a feat
unseen thus far in 2004 and with steady scoring near to handicap was
looking a chance of the big bucks after 7 holes. Landing on the green
of the long par5 eighth I was in with a sniff but a dodgy 3 putt and
a gross Par from Bill sent the players to the scorecards for some
hasty tallying. Gross - Booker on 45, Bill on 37.
The trek round to the ninth was enjoyed with the usual banter about
the Green keepers, needing a slash, promises to go to the driving
range and purchases of new clubs. We will have to wait only 1 short
week to see what the winter season offers....
With $10 up for grabs Bill drove wildly at the ninth, finding the
rough just passed the non-existent ladies tees. Booker managed about
30m and Martyn found the trees. All to play for! Bill finds the
centre of fairway and a few shots later is on the green, Booker makes
a hash of his shots and sees the sub 50 slipping by. Martyn scares a
few ladies with a cross fairway stroke and receives raucous quacking
from a huddle of ducks warming their feathers.
It's the Lemon taking the dollars and smiles all round as the summer
season closes in glorious sunshine.
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Report: Friday 19/03/2004
Written by: Bill Freeman
The dawn breaks, the mist sits thick and low in
the valleys of the 4th the 9th and 14th.
Men greet one another bleary eyed but eager.
The distant tonk of a well struck driver begins
to ring out as the Coorawongs warble.
The dew is cold and constant, no man has yet
walked these fairways this day.
There is rain from the swing of your club.
The ball stops quickly on the fairways and is
slow on the greens, there is more to this game.
The round has highs and not so highs, but the
day has begun and it's a good one.
Chatswood loves you and misses you, oh PGA members.
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Report: Friday 27/02/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
I guess the lack of shouts for the issue of the Doors is
representative of today's results (I certainly wasn't having a go at
myself to get them out)
Still we had a fun four ball morning (five ball if you count the
Bucket / Blower man stalking us) and Martyn took full advantage of
his massive...... handicap to put Bill away on the 9th to win the $15
..no make that $10 due to a downturn in the price of coffee and go
faster mag wheels! Spend the money wisely mate, you are only one
shot away from a real handicap.
Here's to us all finding form between now and next weekend!
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Report: Friday 06/02/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
It was great to see Wendel back on the 1st Tee making up a relaxed 4
ball for February's opener. Martyn put his demons to bed on the 3rd
with a plum tee shot onto the green, the usual mixed bag followed for
the rest of us. Chris had his ups and downs, a frustrating
relationship with his `boomerang' ball on the Par 3 6th, a near
eviction by the green keeper on the 8th and confusion over his bag
straps was not enough of a distraction from finishing two under Par,
a feat also matched by Martyn who's handicap has reduced by 11 shots
in under 2 months!
So Wendel and I sat back to witness a nail biting put playoff on the
9th. A shocking 5 put tie exposed early nerves followed by a more
respectable 3 put tie, the wheels of commerce where rolling and the
clock was ticking so a nearest the pin put was imposed. Martyn's
wild drive type put saw him 3 meters past the pin leaving Chris a
measured shove to win the hole and the round.
Only 4 weeks `till we tour!
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Report: Friday 30/01/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
This morning's round saw the welcome return of past masters from
international and family commitments to create a big field with big $
stakes. All players were smoothly away from the 1st Tee, slightly
marred by Chris's excited and probably strategic chatting giving
Ronnie cause for course marshal intervention. The two groups merged
on the 3rd to witness Martyn lob another $3 into the pond (I would
like to know how many wishes you get for $9 and what he was wishing
for). Bill was driving well and putting badly allowing me to stay in
the race and after an excellent / lucky recovery on the 6th and
steady bogey on the 8th I nudged in front.
The handicaps are heading down! (Fair play to Martyn for dropping a
massive seven shots in one month). A good morning's work by all with
a variation of only eight Net shots across the field.
Only 6 weeks till we tour.
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Report: Friday 23/01/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
Following some fairly strong ("I've had a baby", "I'm in Africa") and
very weak ("It's raining", "I had a Coopers last night") excuses we
had a `limited' field for today's PGA fifth round.
Due to my own absence I am not in a position to give the Fifth Round
Wrap, so thanks to Bill, the overall, deserved and lonely winner for
providing a comprehensive coverage of this morning's action. Reading
it I almost felt like I was there ..in fact why not stay in bed every
Friday morning, read Bill's golf biography and never have to pull
your T shot, 4 put or get rained on again!
Look forward to welcoming Ronworld back to Chatswood next Friday.
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Report: Friday 16/01/2004
Written by: Dominic Wells
Bit of a grey morning and only two PGA members faced off on the 1st
tee of the back nine, a dubious first hole saw us hitting our straps
by ...err the 18th hole. I pulled of a couple of pars but it wasn't
enough to hold back a surging improvement from Martyn who made the
most of his blind girl's handicap to pull off a net 30, (10 gross
shots better than his past average) hence scooping the crazy prize
money cache of $5.
Congratulations to Chrissy on producing a future PGA prodgie Mathew!
Well done to Bill for organising what is set to be superb inaugural
PGA Tour.
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Report: Friday 07/11/2003
Written by: Dominic Wells
Welcome to Martyn, showing his intentions with a solid opening round
at the PGA.
Fantastic progress from Ronnie who only needs 1 more 40 something week
to break into an official handicap, we won't count your bleary eyed
shaky hand effort this Sunday though.
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